Boomer Longs For Glory Days When America, Russia Nearly Blew Up Entire World (Babylon Bee humor)

Babylon Bee ^ | July 16, 2018 | Babylon Bee

[gattaca]

CAPE CORAL, FL—After watching news coverage of a summit held between United States president Donald Trump and Russian president Vladimir Putin, local baby boomer Hank Valentino began to reminisce about the “glory days” when the two nations very nearly destroyed the entire world with nuclear weapons.

The man was reportedly disappointed that the summit failed to result in a declaration of war between the two countries.

“Back in my day, we threatened to nuke each other into glowing ashes almost constantly, and you know what? We liked it,” he said. “In every movie you watched, the U.S.S.R. was the enemy, the way God intended it. I’ve learned to hate Russians all through my whole life, and I’m not about to stop now.”

The man also complained about “kids these days” who haven’t so much as thought about starting a world war, stating that they’re too busy on their “iGizmos and what-not” to put too much effort into rekindling the flames of the Cold War.

On reading news reports that Russian operatives had attempted to influence the United States’ elections, he shook his head. “In my day, Russian spies infiltrated our country in order to blow us up, not mess with a few votes here and there. And we wouldn’t have taken that kind of guff from them, either—we’da blown up the whole planet, just because we could.”

[Rebelbase]

A grain of truth is what makes satire. Took me a long time to accept that the world was no longer black and white as it was prior to the Berlin Wall falling and eventual Soviet break up.

[Sans-Culotte]

FWIW, I felt safer back in the Cold War than I do in the world of Islamic Extremism.

[TADSLOS]

“Back in my day, we threatened to nuke each other into glowing ashes almost constantly, and you know what? We liked it,” he said. “In every movie you watched, the U.S.S.R. was the enemy, the way God intended it. I’ve learned to hate Russians all through my whole life, and I’m not about to stop now.”

Ralph, is that you?

[MountainWalker]

Pretty good.

I hope that any swing or persuadable voters are starting to see the Democrats for the clinically insane people they are. A couple of days ago, Hillary Clinton was saying that Kavanugh was going to bring back slavery. Yesterday they were saying that press conference was like Pearl Harbor or Kristallnacht. These are not the thoughts of normal, grounded people. These are the remarks of stark raving lunatics seeing their grasp on political power slip away.

[Grampa Dave]

BOL!

Sounds like the pyscho Ralph!

[bk1000]

“Took me a long time to accept that the world was no longer black and white as it was prior to the Berlin Wall falling and eventual Soviet break up.”

It wasn’t black and white then. We just didn’t have any alternative news sources, just ABC, NBC, & CBS.

[pabianice]

Yes, with such epics as A Boy and His Dog. *sigh*

[pabianice]

Yes, with such epics as A Boy and His Dog. *sigh*

[roadcat]

“Back in my day, we threatened to nuke each other into glowing ashes almost constantly, and you know what? We liked it,” he said.

I remember Nikita Khrushchev banging his shoe on the desk. Do we want to return to those days? Trump and Putin are trying to keep things civil between leaders, while keeping their shoes on.