An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars (thus entirely useless).
A simile walks into a bar, as parched as the desert.
A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar; the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.
Some good chuckles...
Who was that (older) comedian who was sort of the king of malapropisms? He would tell stories just littered with them - he was Hilarious.
Anybody remember?
:-)
Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.
A guy walks into a bar after a long day at work and orders a drink. As he sits there, mulling over his day, he hears a high-pitched voice say, “That shirt looks great on you!”
The man looks around, doesn’t see anything, and returns to his drink thinking nothing more of it. But then, a moment later, the voice returns, this time offering, “You seem like a really cool guy!”
Again, the man looks around, sees nothing, and returns to his drink, wondering if he should get checked out by a professional. Finally, when his nerves have cooled and he believes the voice is gone, he hears, “I bet your parents are really proud of you!”
He slams down his drink and looks around wildly. Frustrated and finding no possible source of the voice, he calls over the bartender. He says, “Hey barkeep! What’s that voice I keep hearing?”
“Oh, those are the peanuts,” the bartender replies. “They’re complimentary.”
Julius Caesar walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a Martinus.” The bartender gives him a puzzled look and asks, “Don’t you mean a Martini?” “Look,” Caesar replies, “If I wanted a double, I’d have asked for it!”
What? No one here thinks alliteration is funny?
Thanks for this.
Love it! (From a retired English teacher)
Ah, a list that only an English purist (i.e., a PITA), such as I, would enjoy. Thank you for this ... you can bet I’m going to have some of with it!
This doesn't parse easily. It's the comma following "laughing[,]" mixed with the unequal joining.