I guess this is where I differ from you and others here, in that I DON'T have "lots of friends" who are, vote for, support, watch, root for, anything, FOR DIMOCRATS!! If they don't support or believe much as I do, support who I do, are Christian, conservative, like the military, are gun owners, Patriots to the core, etc. I just do not have liberal or dimocratic friends.
It is easy here where I live in Alabama, because there are none in my Church, neighborhood, on my street, etc. You don't see a lot of pro-dimocrat, pro-hillary, obammy signs. During the obammy years, during the elections, etc., I saw TWO yard signs for him. Then later, both signs disappeared!! Why, how, I don't know. Maybe their family told them they were crazy for having those in their yards. But, I just do not deal with them. I lived in Washington state for 15 years after I retired from the Army, waiting for my wife to retire from her job at Bank of America. THAT TIME was enough for me dealing with A-hole liberals!!!!!! THAT WAS ENOUGH!!! Once she retired, we were gone back here to my home in Alabama.
You can’t hide in your happy shell of self-confirming relationships becuase the folks who you don’t know or associate with will make you care. If you lived in Virginia where they are attempting to make it a crime to call the Governor an “A## ##LE” you end up dealing with these people directly or at the wrong end of a gun barrel held by a police officer just doing his job.
I have clients who are conservatives but I also have clients who are big time Democrat donors. I go to school with a bunch of folks who wept and held vigils when Trump was elected. Its not like I am changing their minds, but I am resisting the bits of “bat shit crazy” that I can. I find myself facing the “anti-patriarchy” speaches by saying. “I am a patriarch.” Because, I am. I have grandkids and I love them. My thoughts keep going to “What am I doing for this next generation” as this is where old guy noodles go when they love. Hating patriarchs is just as bad as hating husbands. I call them on it. I call them on “white privilige” because I grew up as a poor dirt farmer’s boy. Saying such things is just racism by narcissistic reflection, but it is just racism when you get down to it and I call them on this.. just the same.
I haven’t found the secret key but mostly it seems to begin by busting the frame they suppose in their name calling. This is why they HATE Trump.. he owns their name calling and calls them names back.