And the winner is . . . really cheap

Philadelphia Inquirer ^ | 03/24/02 | Jeff Brown

[Phantom Lord]

If only I could teach my wife to be a cheapskate.

[uncbob]

Well one way to save $$$$ is not to buy the left wing rag that this article is from

[egarvue]

If only I could teach my wife to be a cheapskate.

LOL! Mine too; she has champagne tastes, but only a beer budget.

[Phantom Lord]

N&O Salesman: "Hello, are you a subscriber to the News and Observer?"

Phantom Lord: "No"

N&O Salesman: "Would you like to receive home delivery of the News and Observer for the low price of... ?"

Phantom Lord: "No"

N&O Salesman: "Could I ask you why?"

Phantom Lord: "I read it for free online. Why should I pay for it."

[Steve0113]

Most Questionable From a Health Standpoint: The fellows who conserved ice by cooling drink cans in the toilet tank.

Actually, that's perfectly clean water. One college I attended was a dry campus, and that's where we hid the beer. Kept it nice and cold, too.

[curmudgeonII]

My definition of a real cheapskate would be somebody with a condom with two laundry marks and a patch on it.

[UB355]

They were discussing this on lacal radio. One guy called in and related the story of his dad going through the piles in the yard retrieving the tube socks the family's german sgepard used to scarf up. And yes he would reuse them.

[mwl1]

I nominate the Clintons for Most Despicable.

[Phantom Lord]

My grandmother was probably the cheapest person on the planet. I am not even going to go into all the stories, but a couple of them that would be usefull to others here I will tell.

She would save the cotton balls from aspirin bottles so she didnt have to buy cotton balls.

Aluminum foil was always cleaned and smoothed and then folded nicely for reusing later.

Garage sales were her religion. If she had lived long enough to utilize eBay she would have made a living at it.

But through her years of being a cheapskate, her and my grandfather gathered a rather large amount of wealth that when they were growing up (born in 1927) they could never have dreamed of.

Whats even funnier is that after my grandmother died my grandfather got a call from their accountant to come to the office. My grandfather knew that they had a large amount of money but he didnt know that he had as much as he does. And to top it off, the reason that his accountant called him into his office was because my grandmother had met with him prior to her death to put my grandfather on a budget! She set up an allowance for him so he would not spend his money. Though he probably could never spend it all without going crazy and getting a young stripper wife and buying her houses and cars.

Now he just drinks beer and scotch in the evening and plays golf all day with out a care in the world.

I keep pointing it out to my wife trying to get her to be more like my grandmother with money so one day I too can do nothing but drink and play golf.

[Docbarleypop]

As a Hospital Corpsman on a ship, we had to save the cotton from the medicine bottles. During the mid nineties we barely got enough money to buy necessities let alone luxuries like cotton balls!

[VoiceOfBruck]

Cheapness is a virtue. Free your inner cheapskate!

[Phantom Lord]

I am as cheap as can be. It is my wife thats the problem!

[VoiceOfBruck]

On behalf of all of us who still change their own oil,

Bump!

[cmsgop]

I HATE CHEAP PEOPLE!!!!

I had this one friend always bumming,smokes,Beer,Food...you name it. Then he moves up here to Washington on a whim and asked to stay at my place for a month with his girlfriend and two Black Labs because he is too cheap to get a Motel Room.I Laughed in his face at that suggestion.Also he is the type of guy when two couples go out to eat and split the bill everything must be to the penny. NOT ONE RED CENT MORE!!

Needless to say we don't see them anymore.....

[Interesting Times]

A 100-yard package of floss, which goes for $2.89, serves for only 200 days if 18 inches are used each day, he says. With his method, he gets 5,040 flossings per package, reducing his annual floss expense from $5.27 to 21 cents.

(snip)

"After each use, I rinse the loop under running water and sterilize it in a small pool of rubbing alcohol in my palm," he continues.

He forgot to calculate the expense of the rubbing alcohol.

Figure 50 cents for 16 ounces, and assume he uses 1/20 ounce in his "small pool" (that's not much). 320 doses per container at a unit cost of .15625 cents per. 5,040 flossings per package is $7.87 - $2.89 in floss savings for a net loss of $4.98.

This idiot is paying 5 bucks for the privilege of reusing his dental floss.

[Ronin]

Yes, it is good clean water, and besides, most disaster manuals recommend keeping your tank clean and holding onto it as a water reserve in emergencies.

When I was living in the Philippines I had a house that had a bidit. Not being female I had no particular use for the device, but it was fed with ultra-icy well water. Great place to keep several San Miguels cool.

[Ronin]

Yes, it is good clean water, and besides, most disaster manuals recommend keeping your tank clean and holding onto it as a water reserve in emergencies.

When I was living in the Philippines I had a house that had a bidit. Not being female I had no particular use for the device, but it was fed with ultra-icy well water. Great place to keep several San Miguels cool.

[VoiceOfBruck]

I've dealt with this kind before too, but we have to be careful to differentiate between frugal cheapskates (the good kind) and moochers/freeloaders (the bad kind).

[VoiceOfBruck]

An ice-cold bidet? That hurts just to think about! And I'm not female either.

[Ronin]

I used to tease my er.... female roommate about that.

I kept on asking her, with a very innocent look on my face, why she never used the thing.

Her response was always very crude, vulgar, profane and not nice.