DFU SONG: I'll Be Watching You (Ashcroft's out to get poor Dan Rather) 5-24-02

DFU SONG PARODIES ^ | 5-2002 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland

[doug from upland]

MIDI - I'LL BE WATCHING YOU - scroll down to Police

Everywhere I go…he is sure to know
He is our AG…what's the frequency
Ashcroft's after me

I'm on CBS…this whole thing's a mess
He is our AG…what's the frequency
Ashcroft's after me

Around the clock…this is such a crock
I'll end up committed…just like David Brock

I can take no more…I'm declaring war
He is our AG…what's the frequency
Ashcroft's after me

When I read my e-mail, I know he's there
Behind my mirror each time I comb my hair
In my own bathroom I cannot take a leak
I'm so afraid he is there to take a peek
I start screaming, "Help me! Help me! Please!"

Need a drink…where's my shrink
I can't sleep…what a creep
What the h*ll…I must go…call Fidel

Around the clock…this is such a crock
I'll end up committed…just like David Brock

The right's overjoyed…I'm not paranoid
He is our AG…what's the frequency
Ashcroft's after me

He is our AG…what's the frequency
Ashcroft's after me

Ashcroft's after me

[doug from upland]

DAN RATHER: ASHCROFT IS OUT TO GET ME

[lainie]

I love it!! Ratherbiased, the latest victim of the VRWC.

[doug from upland]

CBS News anchor Dan Rather, renowned for his unusual expressions and sayings, has led a colorful life. However, one bizarre event really takes the cake.

One night in October 1986, Rather was walking down a Manhattan street when he was punched from behind and thrown to the ground. His assailant kicked and beat him while repeating, "Kenneth, what is the frequency?"

No one could explain the event, and the rumors flew fast and wide. Some speculated the assailant was a KGB agent, while others claimed the attack was the work of a jealous husband. Rather himself couldn't shed any light on the subject. His explanation at the time?

I got mugged. Who understands these things? I didn't and I don't now. I didn't make a lot of it at the time and I don't now. I wish I knew who did it and why, but I have no idea.

Apparently the strange event moved R.E.M. singer Michael Stipe, who said of the incident:

It remains the premier unsolved American surrealist act of the 20th century. It's a misunderstanding that was scarily random, media hyped and just plain bizarre.

The attack inspired the 1994 R.E.M. hit "What's the Frequency, Kenneth." Being a good sport, Dan Rather even accompanied the band when they performed the song on a Late Show with David Letterman appearance.

In 1997, based on a tip from a psychiatrist, Rather's attacker was identified as William Tager. According to the psychiatrist, Tager, who was currently serving time for killing an NBC stagehand, blamed news media for beaming signals into his head, and thought if he could just find out the correct frequency, he could block those signals that were constantly assailing him. Hence the enigmatic inquiry.

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I can just hear Rather: "What is the frequency, Ashcroft? What is the frequency, Ashcroft?"

[Grut]

It's a terrible thing to wish on Mr. Rather, but an IRS audit might, at last, enlighten him.

[dutchess]

Good one Doug. Thanks! Also, mom loved your mothers day tribute. You are truly reformed in her eyes! My best to you and your family. Dutchess

[doug from upland]

You think that's terrible? I was thinking in terms of a chance meeting in a crosswalk with a truck.

[doug from upland]

Thanks for sharing that, dutchess. We've come a long way sing Sinatra's "BJs in the Night," huh?

[Uncle George]

Hey Doug, was Rather nuts before this psyco beat his head or did the thumping shake some liberalieing loose?

[doug from upland]

[doug from upland]

Not sure if he was nuts them. Remember, that was before so many seemingly sane people ultimately became Clintonized and entered a parallel universe.

[Grut]

I was thinking in terms of a chance meeting in a crosswalk with a truck.

Same thing, isn't it?

[dutchess]

Just rummaged through my piano music and found your version of "My Favorite Things", from Sound of Music that you did during the impeachment times..."Blow Jobs and land deals and backwater places ...." (I have a hard copy because we serenaded my liberal dad that Christmas...Boy was he was pissed LOL." It was one of your best! Also found a hard copy of Monica singing "Raindrops"...aka Lovedrops falling on my dress...and also "The way we Were" by babs. My absolute favorite though is the Freeper Anthem . You are a great asset to this site. Thanks...

[doug from upland]

Thanks for the kind words. I can't take the blame for My Favorite Things -- I didn't write it.

My personal favorite is AMERICAN PIE. It took me about 10 hours to write. I think you will like THIS THREAD. Along with AMERICAN PIE, scroll down and you can see some of my personal favorites. MASTER OF THE HOUSE is my all-time favorite humorous one.

[The KG9 Kid]

I believe that this is the first time that you have use The Police in a parody tune? :D

[doug from upland]

Actually, I've done three other versions of this song -- CLICK.

[doug from upland]

I did a search. I totally forgot that I had done THIS VERSION

[DemoSmear]

"What's the frequency, Ashcroft?"

LOL, thanks for the laugh Doug, I needed it.

[doug from upland]

Welcome to FreeRepublic.