McMoebamuffins?
For anyone on this thread that is actually interested in how current science is addressing this problem I would recommend the excellent book by Addy Pross, “What Is Life”. In a nutshell he lays out the current view that what we define as life is simply the inevitable result of a very specific kind of chemistry called systems chemistry. This branch deals with the evolution of naturally replicating molecules. The replication process requires energy for catalysis to occur. The molecules mutually interacted with other replicating molecules in catalytic reactions that produce copies of the original molecules. These chains are analogous to the metabolic processes that living cells use to extract energy from the environment. Over billions of years the molecules competed for energy and errors in the replication process produced mutations that allowed one molecular population to out replicate the others. This is natural selection at the molecular level. Replicative chemistry is the bridge between physical chemistry and biology. Replication and metabolism both evolved in parallel as populations of molecules became more enduring and stable.