Well. Thanks for sharing.
Josh, I have your book and believe it helps keep people from sinning as they move forward with a relationship that can lead to marriage.
I also do not find in the Bible where it says kissing a girl your are sexually interested in is healthy in the eyes of God. I recall the Holy Kiss shared among men, but men were not the target of any lust!
Wow! Thanks for sharing. <3
Dating is a terrible way to get to know someone.
Just another person damaged by Bill Gothard. At least he is figuring it out.
t will probably be on Amazon for years.
Almost every sentence above mentions Me, Myself, and I.
I never read the book. What did he propose in lieu of dating? There are lots of ways to get to know people of the opposite sex. And “dating” should not imply sex. But at some point, a couple needs to acknowledge a mutual interest, and this almost necessarily involves spending time as a couple. The old phrase “making time” comes to mind. Again, they can abstain from sex, but they do need to spend some time together, even if they don’t call it a “date.”
I also believe in the mandate to wait until marriage for sex. If a couple can build their communication skills and their understanding of each other - weaknesses, strengths, etc., without focusing on the physical part of their long term relationship then I think the chances for a successful marriage are better. JMHO
Josh got sucked back into the gynocentric matrix. Hes gonna be so screwed.
Another view written long before Josh’s book, and at 73, I still believe everything I felt led to write then.....no, it’s not perfect, and it is very out-dated......
But my approach was totally different from Josh’s, as my goal was to present God’s original plan in creating Male and Female, and a small part is showing the damaging results of dating, while nowhere stating Christian’s should not date.
Please forgive if you see this is self-promoting - I am not promotingmyself, but God, His ways, His kingdom and His glory.....
And, BTW, the book was applauded by Elisabeth Elliot......
http://www.el-shaddai.org/mandf-home.php
The problem with our society today is that the man is completely relegated to the woman because of the one sided marriage laws imposed by feminism and activist judges. This makes doing it “God’s Way” such a dilemma that I don’t even bother with trying to date anymore.
Brought to you by authors who made a good buck on the gullible.
Such as, Amityville ghost houses
and Alien abduction books.
And giving money advice on very general terms, like Save up.
One of the reviews on Amazon is rather unsettling:
There are better books on Christian relationships than Harris’ book. I was reluctant to write a review until I learned Harris himself is now indirectly involved in a sex scandal that caused him to step down from his pastoral work. I felt some unease about his message, and after I decided one day to google “Josh Harris Sex Scandal”, I now I feel compelled to discourage Christians from buying into what he is selling.
As I read the book, I thought to myself, “this reads like some kid in high school writing stuff down and who can’t think coherently.” Worse, he somehow suggests his courtship model is somehow ordained by God and that if couples follow it, they’re somehow guaranteed a happily-ever-after relationship. I knew it was scam book, and at the time of its publication it was the latest rage in some churches. One zealous loudmouth at church preached it as “God’s way” for everyone. He and his girl friend followed it to the letter, evangelized with it for a while until they got divorced 4 years later.
Should Christians Kiss dating goodbye? The Bible doesn’t give a simple formula for courtship. If anything I’ve been struck by the variety of ways God unites couples, and sometimes its pretty sordid. God had Hosea marry a whore, God killed Ezekiel’s cherished wife, God united Isaac with Rebecca through a miracle, Jacob fell in love with Rachel’s beauty, God had Esther herded into a kings harem, Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines, and Ruth spruced herself up and laid down at Boaz’s feet while he was about to sleep. Godly men like Jeremiah and Daniel did not find wives. The unspoken implication of Harris’ book is that if one is not happily married, one somehow failed to do things God’s way, and God’s way is Harris’ courtship model. The Bible doesn’t really say there is a method, except to say it is ultimately by God’s blessing, and to make decisions wisely and not to be yoked with an unbeliever.
I taught a Bible study to college age students. Ironically by the end of the school year the numbers had risen and I had an abundance of 19-year-old girls attending. I expressed my critical view of Harris’ book and warned them that God doesn’t promise happily ever after. They should simply live a pure life because it pleases God, not because it would land them prince charming (as Harris book insinuates). If they do marry, I told them to choose wisely, and that means asking basic questions like — how many kids do you want, where do you want to live, will you travel for the husband or wife’s career, etc. There is much wiser counsel from other books than Harris’ book.
At the time I wondered if I was doing the right thing by dissuading them form Harris’ book. Now in retrospect, given the divorces of some of his most devoted advocates, I’m glad I suggested other books. This was about 11 years ago before e-harmony came around and Neil Clark Warren had commercialized his work, but Warren’s book listed down all the questions people should ask themselves and each other before getting involved. Ben Young’s “Ten Commandments of Dating” was very sensible, but Warren’s book was the most well conceived based on Warren’s decades of private practice in dealing with couples.
Is he going to return the royalties?
Dating is deceptive.
When you date, you’re on your best behavior, look your best, trying to impress the other person.
It’s not reality, the reality of being seen in real life situations.
I think a healthy blend of courtship and dating is the best.
Get to know the other person well, in situations with their family and watch the family interactions, when they are doing the normal, routine, hum drum activities of real life living that you will be engaged in the rest of your married life.
Your marriage will not be what your dating life was like.