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Suspicious package mailed to Joel Olsteen
Babylon Bee ^
| 10/24/2018
| Babylon Bee
Posted on 10/25/2018 4:01:39 PM PDT by RedStateRocker
HOUSTON, TX—A suspicious package mailed to Joel Osteen and intercepted by Lakewood Church security was found to contain a copy of the Christian Bible, sources confirmed Wednesday.
TOPICS: Current Events; Humor; Ministry/Outreach; Religion & Culture
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; bible; excerpt; fakenews; satire; suspiciouspackage
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Babylon Bee strikes again.
To: RedStateRocker
I was going to say as long as there is a dollar in it Joel is OK with it.
2
posted on
10/25/2018 4:04:19 PM PDT
by
Kartographer
("We mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.")
To: RedStateRocker
3
posted on
10/25/2018 4:04:49 PM PDT
by
stars & stripes forever
(Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord. Psalm 32:12)
To: RedStateRocker
4
posted on
10/25/2018 4:05:17 PM PDT
by
ataDude
(.)
To: RedStateRocker
To his mansion, his lakeside house, his coastal home or his yacht?
5
posted on
10/25/2018 4:05:40 PM PDT
by
2ndDivisionVet
(You cannot invade the mainland US. There'd be a rifle behind every blade of grass.)
To: RedStateRocker
To: RedStateRocker
7
posted on
10/25/2018 4:06:09 PM PDT
by
PJ-Comix
(I am eating my way to weight loss. Pass the lox!)
To: RedStateRocker
Dang! I was going to suggest it was a KJV Bible before I read past the headline!
8
posted on
10/25/2018 4:06:35 PM PDT
by
jjotto
(Next week, BOOM!, for sure!)
To: RedStateRocker
Did they recognize what it was?
To: RedStateRocker
did somebody send him a Bible?
To: RedStateRocker
11
posted on
10/25/2018 4:13:09 PM PDT
by
Autonomous User
(During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.)
To: jjotto
To: RedStateRocker
Must have been a CATHOLIC BIBLE!!!
13
posted on
10/25/2018 4:13:58 PM PDT
by
Ann Archy
(Abortion....... The HUMAN Sacrifice to the god of Convenience.)
To: Kartographer
I'm sure he sent it to himself, to gin up a few hundred thousand for a new plane, boat and small Carribean Island!😜
14
posted on
10/25/2018 4:29:15 PM PDT
by
miserare
( Indict Hillary!)
To: RedStateRocker
I like the BB story of how Osteen’s personal Bible, which had never been opened, made a break for it and escaped from his mansion.
To: RedStateRocker
16
posted on
10/25/2018 4:37:00 PM PDT
by
mylife
(The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
To: Hammerhead
did somebody send him a Bible? He didn't know what it was
17
posted on
10/25/2018 4:44:21 PM PDT
by
11th_VA
("When passions are most inflamed, fairness is most in jeopardy." - Susan Collins)
To: RedStateRocker
Good one. Did it burn his hands?
18
posted on
10/25/2018 8:04:36 PM PDT
by
Figment
To: kaehurowing
I was going to ask how they were able to identify it so quickly.
19
posted on
10/25/2018 8:58:27 PM PDT
by
Gil4
(And the trees are all kept equal by hatchet, ax and saw)
To: Ann Archy
Must have been a CATHOLIC BIBLE!!!Is that the one that when you open it up it has a Money Slot you have to feed Dollar Bills into before you can read The Scripture ?
20
posted on
10/25/2018 9:55:26 PM PDT
by
mabarker1
(Congress- the opposite of PROGRESS!!!)
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