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Congregation Erupts Into Violent Protests As Worship Band Tampers With Another Christmas Carol
Babylon Bee ^ | 12/4/2018

Posted on 12/04/2018 10:04:00 AM PST by Gamecock

It's satire people!

Full Title: Congregation Erupts Into Violent Protests As Worship Band Shamelessly Tampers With Yet Another Timeless Christmas Carol

PERRY, MA—Violence broke out at Everlasting Savior Community Church in Perry last Sunday after, in an audacious show of nerve, the worship band messed with another classic Christmas song. Congregants were whipped into a frenzy during “O Come, O Come Emmanuel” when a new bridge was added to the already satisfactory song.

“Rejoice with tidal waves of grace, oh Savior of the broken, pouring over me everlasting in a rushing mighty wave of love…” the new lyrics began. It was at that point that a hymnal was lobbed into one of the speakers causing an explosion of sparks. The congregation rushed the stage and attacked the worship band, knocking over microphone stands, throwing drums, and lighting amplifiers on fire.

With the church ablaze, the angry mob took to the streets overturning cars and breaking windows. Local police arrived on the scene and were forced to use tear gas and pepper spray to control the protestors.

Earlier in the service, songs such as “O Come All Ye Faithful” and “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” had also been tampered with, creating a palpable frustration among the elder members of the church. By the third song, they had had enough.

A number of church members had locked themselves inside of the building and were holding hostage worship leader, 19-year-old Gavin Blaine, demanding that all Christmas songs from this point forward be played the normal way they have always been played. Officers at the scene held the worship band at gunpoint and instructed the musicians to comply with the sensible demands. “There’s no reason for this kind of brazen disregard for these beloved songs,” shouted the police chief at the worship leader. “Change the songs back or lethal force may be used.”

At press time, Blaine had refused to comply with the orders and was placed in police custody.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: satire

1 posted on 12/04/2018 10:04:00 AM PST by Gamecock
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To: Gamecock

Got me going there for a moment until I looked at the source of the story. The BB is a fun site.


2 posted on 12/04/2018 10:08:23 AM PST by SkyDancer ( ~ Just Consider Me A Random Fact Generator ~ Eat Sleep Fly Repeat ~)
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To: Gamecock

Some things should not be messed with.


3 posted on 12/04/2018 10:09:53 AM PST by metmom ( ...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith......)
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To: SkyDancer

So this is satire?


4 posted on 12/04/2018 10:10:29 AM PST by jmacusa (Made it Ma, top of the world!'')
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To: jmacusa

Yes. Says so in the first line of the post. Satire didn’t fit in the heavily edited title.

But it is not satire in many of our hearts.


5 posted on 12/04/2018 10:13:44 AM PST by Gamecock (In church today, we so often find we meet only the same old world, not Christ and His Kingdom. AS)
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To: Gamecock

It’s about time this happened!! Yeah I know the site is satire- but it could be real.


6 posted on 12/04/2018 10:22:22 AM PST by lastchance (Credo.)
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To: Gamecock

I know it’s satire, but this strikes me as a not-completely-unwarranted response to these goofballs who keep “improving” the old hymns of the faith.


7 posted on 12/04/2018 10:24:56 AM PST by Yashcheritsiy (I'd rather have one king 3000 miles away that 3000 kings one mile away)
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To: jmacusa

Yep - go to: https://babylonbee.com/news?page=1 third story down on left hand side.


8 posted on 12/04/2018 10:28:44 AM PST by SkyDancer ( ~ Just Consider Me A Random Fact Generator ~ Eat Sleep Fly Repeat ~)
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To: Gamecock

I got hooked initially, until I went back up looking for the source and saw, “It’s satire people!”

Funny!


9 posted on 12/04/2018 10:28:51 AM PST by RinaseaofDs
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To: Gamecock

Haha, thinking of my dear old departed Dad who, years ago, was none too pleased when the Young Life group at church had a young fellow dressed as Joseph leading Mother Mary and Baby Jesus on a real donkey down the aisle to the altar for the opening of Christmas Mass. And Dad and a few other older parishioners cornered the Pastor to let him know it at my momma’s annual holiday party.

After that, even the annual Blessing of the Pets Service was held outside. Good times...


10 posted on 12/04/2018 10:34:37 AM PST by Hatteras
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To: Gamecock

Oh God no. When life became satire, satire evaporated. At least in the America I once knew.


11 posted on 12/04/2018 10:39:25 AM PST by jmacusa (Made it Ma, top of the world!'')
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To: Gamecock

One of the many things I hate about Christmas. Trying to make traditional Christmas carols “relevant” is immensely irritating. I really can’t listen to the stuff any longer.


12 posted on 12/04/2018 10:41:58 AM PST by kaehurowing
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To: Gamecock
So I have had an ongoing battle with Music Directors who want to change the words to Hark The Herald Angels Sing.

The lyrics in question...

Pleased, as man, with men to dwell,
Jesus, our Emmanuel!

The substitution

Pleased, with us, with us to dwell,
Jesus, our Emmanuel!

AND these lyrics

Born to raise the sons of earth
Born to give them second birth

The substitution...

Born to raise us from the earth
Born to give us second birth

My argument is that if Charles Wesley had wanted to be gender neutral, he would have written it gender neutral. At that time the default was male pronouns. It was not meant to be exclusive.

I get back PC bull crap arguments about "inclusivity" and being open to all genders...

I tick them off by clearly singing the traditional lyrics.

13 posted on 12/04/2018 10:46:02 AM PST by Crusher138 ("Then conquer we must, for our cause it is just")
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To: Crusher138

Stand your ground.

There are many of us out there who hate the PC nonsense.


14 posted on 12/04/2018 11:17:42 AM PST by metmom ( ...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith......)
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To: kaehurowing

Last week our worship team made Silent Night almost unrecognizable. What is wrong with singing the songs the way we learned them?


15 posted on 12/04/2018 11:19:20 AM PST by bray (Pray for President Trump)
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To: Gamecock

Years ago, my parish had hymnals which substituted for the familiar lyrics of “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel,” some bland and soporific lyrics, with a supercilious note explaining that the traditional lyrics were inappropriate because Jesus has already been born. Brain-dead idiots. Fortunately those hymnals were later replaced.


16 posted on 12/04/2018 2:39:52 PM PST by Verginius Rufus
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To: SkyDancer

Yup, I *just* had the sense to see if it was the Bee, before replying.


17 posted on 12/04/2018 7:54:10 PM PST by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: Hatteras

18 posted on 12/04/2018 7:55:44 PM PST by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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