Tell the truth? In a pig's eye! He's too sheepish.
It was just a little horseplay with the seminarians.
All of this nagging is really getting his goat. He's tired of being lamb-asted.
He's used to hogging the limelight in a different way.
Whatever will we do with this turkey?
Fry him.
Fry him. A fate far worse than merely being fried awaits those who obstinately, knowingly, and with malice aforethought persist in sodomite heresy.