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Humor (Bloggers & Personal)

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  • No Offense, Panda Sushi

    11/15/2018 4:54:51 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 5 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 11*15*18 | MOTUS
    I don’t know why, but MOTUS was worried that I might offend. So she directed Raj to review my post topics before I could publish. Apparently, Raj is somewhat more attuned to the sensibilities of others than I. Go figure.So I did a quick scan of various post ideas and bounced them off Raj as she instructed.First topic, Lady M.MO told Oprah and a sold-out audience of 14,000 people at the United Center on Tuesday night, "Yes, I'm black." I didn’t think that would offend and neither did Raj, butt he was afraid that the vision of her squeezed into...
  • DC to Crack Down on "Play Dates" [semi-satire]

    11/14/2018 7:59:45 AM PST · by John Semmens · 3 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 Nov 2018 | John Semmens
    The practice of parents with similarly aged children meeting up for play dates is in the cross hairs of the DC bureaucracy. State Superintendent of Education Hanseul Kang has charged that these informal arrangements "are an illegal intrusion on turf reserved for my department. There are public institutions targeting young children and their development. Every hour wasted at some play group run by unqualified parents is an hour that could have been spent in a program run by professionals. It doesn't matter that the play dates are voluntary or that participation seemingly hurts no one. We will levy fines or...
  • The Zombies Are Coming! Arm Up

    11/14/2018 4:59:43 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 20 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 11-14-18 | MOTUS
    Meet the freshmanwomen class: Congresswoman-elect Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) on Monday shared a photo captioned “squad” showing her seated with fellow Democratic Rep.-elects Rashida Tlaib (MI), Ilhan Omar (MN) and Ayanna Pressley (MA). Great: two radical Muslims and four socialists.For the record, I’m not talking about bullets. ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: I’m going on an overnight outing with some of Raj’s sisters and I’m not bringing my computer so Little Mo will be writing tomorrow’s post for me. I apologize in advance for anything he might say that might be misconstrued, offend and/or hurt anyone’s feelings.Posted from: MOTUS A.D.
  • Vox Justifies Leftists Terrorizing Opponents [semi-satire]

    11/13/2018 7:18:47 AM PST · by John Semmens · 1 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 Nov 2018 | John Semmens
    Last week a loud and angry mob of Antifa activists surrounded the home of Fox News personality Tucker Carlson engaged in lengthy chanting of leftist slogans and ended up breaking the home’s front door. Tucker’s terrified wife barricaded herself inside and called the police. While most media commentators on both sides of the left-right spectrum denounced this tactic, Vox Senior Correspondent and co-founder Matthew Yglesias hailed it, saying “I think the idea behind terrorizing his family is to make them feel some of the fear that the victims of MAGA-inspired violence feel thanks to the non-stop racial incitement coming from...
  • MOTUS Returns To Her Roots (and Butts)

    11/13/2018 6:22:01 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 10 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 11-13-18 | MOTUS
    Honestly, I didn’t want to know anything more about Michelle and Barack’s personal life. Butt there it is anyway, because you don’t get a $65 million book deal without a lot of promotion. And I sure didn’t want to post yet another photoshop of the world’s most fashion forward former FLOTUS butt again, there it is:So thanks to Becoming Michelle, Elle and Robin Roberts we see and hear it all: from lust at first sight to marriage counseling: Commenting on what she learned during marriage counseling years ago she said “what I learned about myself was that my happiness was...
  • Is NBC News Faker Than CNN? It Was On Monday.

    11/13/2018 4:54:24 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 17 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Seems like there is a lesson to be learned in here somewhere. – So, lessee here…the pro-Trump Republican gubernatorial candidate in Arizona, Doug Ducey, easily won his race by more than 150,000 votes. Meanwhile, the Trump-avoiding GOP senatorial candidate, Martha McSally, who basically campaigned as the second coming of despicable RINO Jeff Flake, lost her race by about 48,000 votes at the latest count. Hmmmm. How do we explain that? Think maybe there’s a cause and effect kind of thing going on there? Nah, must be something else, because your fake news...
  • In L.A. Vet Blocked from Voting [semi-satire]

    11/12/2018 7:24:31 AM PST · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 Nov 2018 | John Semmens
    On election day a poll monitor in a Los Angeles precinct blocked army veteran John Reader from voting because of “the symbol of hatred” on his shirt. The symbol: a US flag. “I thought displaying the flag was a general expression of patriotism, you know for our country,” Reader said. “How’s that a hate symbol?” The poll monitor who would only give his first name (Bill) asserted that “someone so ignorant as to not know that the American flag is a symbol imperialism, oppression, and hatred shouldn’t be voting in our elections. Generous person that I am, though, I offered...
  • Don’t Let the Turkey Buzzards Get You Down: Shoot First

    11/12/2018 6:00:11 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 6 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 11-12-18 | MOTUS
    I am not one to let the buzzards get me down as a rule, but their constant circling in multiple groups is beginning to make me a bit anxious: manufactured votes being counted in Arizona, Georgia and Florida with barely a peep from anyone, thousands of “migrants” continue their march to violate our laws and borders, Hillary is running for president and California is burning.  Except for Hillary…Since today is only a holiday by government edict and since we already held a proper Veterans’ Day observation yesterday, on the proper day, we are now free to move about the Internet....
  • Alexandria Ocasio Cortez – the Gift who Just Keeps on Giving

    11/12/2018 4:51:17 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 19 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Alexandra-Beto 2024? – It could happen, because this is just how ridiculous your Democrat Party has become. Congresswoman-elect Alexandria Ocasio Cortez spent her Friday evening doing a livestream Q&A with her fans on her Instragram account while she whipped up a box of Kraft Mac ‘n Cheese for supper – which, not coincidentally, is also the favorite dinner for my 5 and 8 year-old granddaughters. Hashtag, irony. I swear I don’t make this stuff up. Anyways, one of her fan girl callers was all, like, ‘so, when ya gonna run for, like,...
  • Contrasting Abortion Decisions in Two States [semi-satire]

    11/11/2018 10:12:33 AM PST · by John Semmens · 1 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 Nov 2018 | John Semmens
    In this election abortion ballot measures appeared in two states. In West Virginia, voters approved a constitutional amendment with the following wording: “Nothing in this Constitution secures or protects a right to abortion or requires the funding of abortion.” In Oregon, voters defeated a measure that banned taxpayers funding of elective abortions. Oregon is one of 17 states that forces taxpayers to fund elective abortions. Because the state has no abortion restrictions, tax dollars pay for unborn babies to be aborted for any reason up to the moment before birth. In 2017, Gov. Kate Brown (D) signed a bill expanding...
  • Veterans’ Day 2018: Why We Fight

    11/11/2018 5:42:21 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 2 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 11-11-18 | MOTUS
    The price of greatness is responsibility. – Sir Winston ChurchillThere are scant words to adequately acknowledge the sacrifices made by the men and women who have served our country, especially in times of war, so let me simply say thank you.Let us reflect on this 100th anniversary of Armistice Day, the end of World War I, the sacrifice our armed forces have always made when called upon to protect and defend our country. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could make it through one day without some nitwit ranting about social justice and tweeting about male toxicity and the patriarchy?...
  • The Week in Review: The Voting Will Continue Until The Democrats Have Their Wave

    11/11/2018 4:58:11 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 18 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    The Campaign Update Week in Review There was an election on Tuesday, and 95% of the country called it all good then. All the votes that had been legally cast in this broad mass of the nation were legally counted by midnight, winners were declared and claimed their victories, losers conceded their losses, and all was right with the beacon of hope for the free world. But then, there’s Arizona. And Georgia. And California. And most egregious of all, there are Broward and Palm Beach Counties in Florida. Unlike the rest of the country, the Democrat-controlled parts of these states...
  • Video Proves Acosta Lied [semi-satire]

    11/10/2018 7:30:34 AM PST · by John Semmens · 13 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 Nov 2018 | John Semmens
    This week, CNN's Jim Acosta lost his White House press pass. The events leading up to this began with his abuse of the press conference's opportunity to question President Trump live in front of multimedia. Given an opportunity to ask a question Acosta launched into a lecture about how the caravan from Guatemala was not an invasion. Trump attempted to agree to disagree, but Acosta persisted in berating him. Having gone way past a reasonable time with the microphone, Trump asked Acosta to let another member of the media have a turn. Acosta continued to rant and an intern attempted...
  • All The Votes Fit To Count

    11/10/2018 5:21:53 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 15 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 11-10-18 | MOTUS
    According to FairVote there have been 27 contested state elections (recounts) since 2000 and regardless of who had the lead going in Democrats have won…all 27. C’est un miracle! It would seem that nobody can beat the serial Democrat vote rigging machine; and if you don’t believe me, just ask Bernie Sanders. Even Senator Fauxcahontas concedes he got screwed: CNN asked Senator Elizabeth Warren if Mrs Clinton's contest against Democratic rival Bernie Sanders was rigged, and she said: "Yes”… Ms Warren, a progressive senator from Massachusetts who campaigned for Mrs Clinton, was reacting to allegations by former Democratic National Committee...
  • The Church of Mueller: The Left’s Latest Fake Religion

    11/10/2018 5:14:54 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 2 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) It is in the nature of the human existence to want to believe strongly in something, to believe in something bigger than one’s self, to want to work towards a higher calling, to be a part of some movement that works for the betterment of mankind. This desire to believe leads billions across the face of the earth to seek to belong to a wide variety of actual religions, which worship a variety of gods. Being, as they are, opposed to actual religions, those who inhabit the political left constantly engage in...
  • Trump Orders Catapults Be Placed Along Border To Expedite Deportations (SATIRE)

    11/09/2018 7:53:46 PM PST · by Morgana · 21 replies
    Breaking Burgh ^ | November 9, 2018 | staff
    President Trump said today he is determined that deportations of those who enter the United States illegally proceed quickly, without waiting for court proceedings motorized transportation. “We’re going to use catapults because that’s the fastest way. It’s going to be so fast. Very very fast.” Trump insisted that he would not repeat the mistakes of the past that caused a huge backlash, even from the occasional Republican. “I have ordered that families be launched together, but if they separate while still on a parabolic trajectory through the air that’s not on me.” Others, however, have cast suspicion on claims that...
  • Broward County Official Defends Violating Law {semi-satire]

    11/09/2018 7:02:08 PM PST · by John Semmens · 15 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 Nov 2018 | John Semmens
    In the wake of closely contested races for Senator and Governor, Broward County Elections Supervisor Brenda Snipes sought to defend violating state election laws. Under state law each county is required to report the number of ballots to be counted in a timely fashion. Broward was one of the two out of 67 counties not to do so. Snipes contended that her lack of compliance with the law "was guided by a higher loyalty. It seems like every election new boxes of ballots keep being found in the darndest places. In order to ensure that these voters are not disenfranchised...
  • WATCH: Confused #ProtectMueller Protester Doesn’t Know What He’s Protesting

    11/09/2018 10:20:13 AM PST · by Impala64ssa · 3 replies
    Big League Politics ^ | 11/9/18 | Tom Pappert
    A man protesting the resignation of former Attorney General Jeff Sessions, made at President Donald Trump’s request, was unable to clearly tell this Big League Politics writer why he was at the protest. At the #ProtectMueller protest in Wichita, Kansas, one protester struggled to explain why he was protesting. The protest had been arranged months in advance by the powerful Democrat activist group MoveOn, and was part of a nationwide series of protests officially titled the “Nobody Is Above the Law – Mueller Protection Rapid Response.” The protest was planned to spark nationwide action should President Trump do something MoveOn...
  • FOTUS Friday: #EveryDemVoteIsCountedTwice

    11/09/2018 6:20:44 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 2 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 11-9-18 | MOTUS
    Forgive me, but in addition to waking up at 4:30 am everyday this week, today I woke to two inches of fresh snow. Yes, it’s beautiful, yes, it silently covers everything in its path – including the 4 inches of fallen leaves waiting to be raked and removed. And while I know some of you (MnTo) are delighted with this early gift of whiteness (trigger! privileged! racist! trigger!trigger! ) the rest of us are neither mentally or physically prepared for this early onslaught. So while I would have been happy to just post this lovely photo of the Trumps and...
  • Just Another Day of Democrats Stealing Elections in America

    11/09/2018 4:47:10 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 18 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Why do we have to be this crazy? – Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is “back up and working” according to a relative after taking a fall and breaking three ribs early Thursday morning. That’s good news for the 85 year-old Ginsburg, and something every thinking American should be happy about. But of course, that’s never the case on social media, where some right-wing idiots responded to the news that she was in the hospital with glee over the prospect of yet another Supreme Court nomination for President Donald Trump. C’mon,...