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Anyone who uses an ordinary deck of playing cards is racist, sexist, and elitist. A deck consists of 52 cards within four groupings called suits. Since a suit is synonymous with men of authority this implies that males control the playful activities surrounding the use of the deck. I propose to change the name to common. Each common then contains 13 cards. One of these is named the ace signifying a superior male while three others bear the images of a jack (prince), queen, and king. This promotes the elitism of the powerful over the peasantry. These cards should have...

Playing Cards an Essential Rucksack Item By Pfc. Chris JonesSpecial to American Forces Press Service MOSUL, Iraq (Sept. 15, 2003) -- Not everyone likes playing cards. Heck, why play a simple game of blackjack when you can cruise the streets in a tank in a popular video game? "Well, you can't pack a (video game system) in your ruck," answered Spc. Virgina Brickner, Company C, 8th Battalion, 101st Aviation Regiment. "You can take cards anywhere, anytime. At night, all you need is a flashlight to keep playing," she said, adding that she's not good at video games anyway. Smaller...

The Chicken D’s love to play childish games – now you can too with your very own deck of Chicken D playing cards! Be sure to call the Department of Public Safety if you see any of these jokers! The playing cards are in six pages and are published in the Adobe Acrobat (.pdf) format. Just download the files, print them on card stock, cut and play!

Anyone who saw a daily newspaper or caught a cable news program this past weekend knows that William J. Bennett--virtuecrat, drug warrior, scold--was exposed by Newsweek and the Washington Monthly last Friday as a high-stakes gambler. The news that Bennett blew a small fortune in Las Vegas--he is believed to have lost upwards of eight million dollars--was almost too good to be true. Michael Kinsley, writing for Slate, best captured the reaction of American sinners from Maine to California: "Maybe there is a God after all." Bennett defended himself against charges of hypocrisy by pointing out that he never...

You've seen the Iraqi playing cards used by the military to track down the fleeing regime, but have you seen the Hollywood cards? Click here to see the restMore suits to follow soon... Jeremy is a freelance writer who lives in San Francisco (occupied territory) and has declared a jihad on liberalism. www.jerhad.com