A&E hits new lows with 'See Arnold Run'; see critic run even faster

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 1/28/5 | Tim Goodman

[SmithL]

As if the A&E Network hadn't proved conclusively in recent seasons just how far it has fallen -- it has a roster of dreck to which few can compare -- a new biopic on Arnold Schwarzenegger confirms that nobody at the cable channel has much taste or, for that matter, smarts.

It's impossible to make a movie about Schwarzenegger without using the man himself. He's an outsize character, a preposterous creation. Trying to mimic him is foolish. Any programmer with the aforementioned combo of taste and smarts would have laughed the idea for "See Arnold Run" right out the door.

But no one did. Apparently this will be another calendar year during which none of A&E's executives bothers to go out and buy a box of clues. And so the laughs are all yours as "See Arnold Run" unfolds Sunday as two of the most embarrassing, ridiculous hours of filmed television in some time. Unless the producers and writers of "See Arnold Run" were attempting to create a sort of cheese fondue of lameness on purpose, then what we have here is a spectacular, across-the-board lack of accountability. "See Arnold Run" is so asinine it races past farce and approaches spoof before veering off carelessly on that dark and lonely road marked "Earnest True Life Story."

The biggest problem in "See Arnold Run" is Arnold, or German actor Jurgen Prochnow, who plays Arnold. It's a bad fit, visually. Biopics usually work when the star looks enough like the real-life figure being portrayed that you simply forget. Or, counterintuitively but no less effective, the star looks nothing like the real person, so you can focus on the story.

[SmithL]

Roland Kickinger plays a young Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Jurgen Prochnow plays Arnold Schwarzenegger in recent times, but comes across looking more like the late Phil Hartman playing such a role. Mariel Hemingway plays Maria Shriver.

[zygoat]

They can just dust off ol' skeletor to play wifey though.

[JennysCool]

"See Arnold Run" actually scores an extremely rare trifecta in the "do not impersonate" category. Never do Arnold -- that's been established. But how about Nora Dunn doing Arianna Huffington -- with a broad ax? (There's your direct "SNL" connection; but, in a freaky twist, Prochnow sort of looks like the late Phil Hartman portraying Schwarzenegger. Creepy.) And lastly, just to cover all the bases, some poor actress who shall go unmentioned is recruited here to play a very young Barbara Walters and mangles it so badly that it's physically painful to watch. As in, rolling on the floor, covering your ears so as not to hear her do Walters' already over-caricatured speech pattern. Arnold. Arianna. Barbara. Do not try this at home.

Sounds like don't-miss TV to me!

[Behind Liberal Lines]

I don't understand why they wouldn't have the younger actor, who actually sort of looks like Arnold, play him in every decade and just make him up to look older.

[alnick]

Oh, he does look like Phil Hartman! Actually, he looks like a cross between Phil Hartman and Bill O'Reilly. LOL.

[My2Cents]

A&E would have done better to have that still photo with the moving mouth and bad accent that appears on Conan O'Brien's show play Arnold.

At least that would have been comically tolerable, instead of painfully unwatchable.

[My2Cents]

Is he doing Arnold, or Michael Flatley?

[LauraleeBraswell]

From the network that brought us Growing up Gotti.


about a Mafia Crime Family! Yes, these people deserve recognition and celebrity. NOT

[RippleFire]

bump

[calcowgirl]

'Must watch' TV?

[tubebender]

Not if Emeril or Rachael Ray is on...

[NormsRevenge]

I wasn't gonna watch.. but ya twisted my arm. ow.)

on second thought I may watch Desperately Seeking Socialism on the California Cows Have Rights Too Channel

[calcowgirl]

Well... in my area the food channel is airing a must see:

All American Tailgating Cook-Off
FOODP 98 Jan 30 10:00pm
Special/Other, 60 Mins.

Joe Cahn, the self-appointed commissioner of tailgating, picks the winner.

[calcowgirl]

You must have satellite. ;-)

[NormsRevenge]

lol.. Yup! FReepSat transponder #42 .. The MoooVeOn Channel

[JohnBDay]

This like that Jacko movie, is hilariously bad.

[Zack Nguyen]

The real Arnold was much more well built. That dude is big, but Arnold is the greatest bodybuilder of all time.

[Hazzardgate]

You now what, it wasn't that bad. Some good lines.

[codercpc]

I thought that the actors were awful, but overall I thought the movie was very well done, and quite informative.

The Barbara Walters portrayal was embarrassing to watch, and I thought that accent of Arnold was awful, but once you got over that I was glad I watched it.