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19 Things a Man Should Never Say
Esquire.com ^ | 10/20/09 | staff

Posted on 10/20/2009 9:23:45 AM PDT by GQuagmire

We would herewith like to place a ban on the following words, phrases, and expressions, for reasons of overuse, offensiveness, or just because. Plus: Profanity alternatives!

Read more: http://www.esquire.com/features/funny-slang-language-dictionary/banned-words-1109#ixzz0UUgXOwS2

(Excerpt) Read more at esquire.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: girliemen; napl
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1 posted on 10/20/2009 9:23:45 AM PDT by GQuagmire
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To: GQuagmire

I say... tummy, belly button and bye bye.

Then again I have an 18 month old daughter.


2 posted on 10/20/2009 9:27:26 AM PDT by wilco200 (11/4/08 - The Day America Jumped the Shark)
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To: GQuagmire

I think we should stop incorporating the word “incorporate”
in sentences where the words mix, blend, meld or add will suffice.


3 posted on 10/20/2009 9:28:51 AM PDT by Jo Nuvark (Those who bless Israel will be blessed, those who curse Israel will be cursed. Gen 12:3)
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To: GQuagmire

The only one I can agree with: C-—


4 posted on 10/20/2009 9:30:30 AM PDT by the_devils_advocate_666
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To: GQuagmire

Well, frack!


5 posted on 10/20/2009 9:31:50 AM PDT by buccaneer81 (ECOMCON)
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To: GQuagmire
If I observed this ban I wouldn't be able to talk anymore.

Maybe that's what they want!

6 posted on 10/20/2009 9:32:20 AM PDT by grobdriver (Proud Member, Party Of No! No Socialism - No Fascism - Nobama - No Way!)
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To: GQuagmire

So, I’m supposed to let a fag-mag like Esquire tell me what a “man” shouldn’t say?

No man would buy a magazine that’s 95% clothing advertisements with heavy gay overtones.


7 posted on 10/20/2009 9:32:27 AM PDT by SJSAMPLE
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To: GQuagmire

Yes I always live my life by what the Esquire experts jot down for us ignerant fellers.

I breathlessly await the 19 things women should never say article that must be in the works, you know, for diversity’s balance.


8 posted on 10/20/2009 9:32:36 AM PDT by Secret Agent Man (I'd like to tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.)
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To: GQuagmire

Looks like some putz’s metro sexual vocabulary trending gay...


9 posted on 10/20/2009 9:32:37 AM PDT by AngelesCrestHighway
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To: GQuagmire
Boobs??????

What about "democrats are all a bunch of boobs"? What's wrong with that?

10 posted on 10/20/2009 9:32:56 AM PDT by BubbaBasher ("Liberty will not long survive the total extinction of morals" - Sam Adams)
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To: GQuagmire
Real men don't read Esquire :)
11 posted on 10/20/2009 9:33:44 AM PDT by mewzilla (In politics the middle way is none at all. John Adams)
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To: GQuagmire

What kind of pussy wrote that stupid article? LOL


12 posted on 10/20/2009 9:36:36 AM PDT by Augie
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To: GQuagmire
The Things You Don't Say To Your Wife
Lyrics by Tim Hawkins

Hey honey have you gained
some weight in your rear-end?
That dress you wear reminds me
of my old girlfriend
And where'd you get those shoes?
I think they're pretty lame
Would you stop talking 'cause
I'm trying to watch the game

If you're a man who wants to live
a long and happy life
These are the things you
don't say to your wife

I planned a hunting trip
next week on your birthday
I didn't ask you 'cause I knew
it would be OK
Go make some dinner while
I watch this fishing show
I taped it over our
old wedding video

If you're a man who wants to live
a long and happy life
These are the things you
don't say to your wife

Your cooking is OK but not
like mother makes
The diamond in the ring
I bought you is a fake
Your eyes look puffy dear
are you feeling ill?
Happy anniversary
I bought you a treadmill

If you're a man who wants to live
a long and happy life
These are the things you
don't say to your wife

If your a man who doesn't want
to get killed with a knife
These are the things you
don't say to your wife


13 posted on 10/20/2009 9:37:18 AM PDT by Alex Murphy ("Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him" - Job 13:15)
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To: Augie

lol


14 posted on 10/20/2009 9:37:23 AM PDT by ConservativeMan55
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To: GQuagmire

Left off the list:

“I do.”


15 posted on 10/20/2009 9:38:02 AM PDT by Jewbacca (The residents of Iroquois territory may not determine whether Jews may live in Jerusalem.)
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To: GQuagmire

“No really, I like small boobs. Well, yours at least.”

The correct answer to the question, “Does this dress make me look fat?” is “How ‘bout them Mets?”


16 posted on 10/20/2009 9:38:37 AM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets (The People have abdicated our duties; ... and anxiously hope for just two things: bread and circuses)
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To: GQuagmire

If you ever hear a woman cussing another woman, to other women when the object of the cussing is not present and you as a man are not known to be hearing the cussing, THAT is when you hear what you must never say in the presence of a woman. The nastiness of such a cussing always has the “C” word included, spat out like the most vile tasting thing the cuss er can verbalize.


17 posted on 10/20/2009 9:39:10 AM PDT by MHGinTN (Dems, believing they cannot be deceived, it is impossible to convince them when they are deceived.)
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To: GQuagmire

That’s a cool list. Oops.

We can’t say “boobs”? Stuff!

I’ll post more later. I gotta go pee before I wet my slacks. Dadgum!


18 posted on 10/20/2009 9:39:25 AM PDT by rwrcpa1 (Let freedom ring!)
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To: Alex Murphy
Happy anniversary, honey.
I bought you a treadmill

19 posted on 10/20/2009 9:41:32 AM PDT by Obadiah (Obama: Chains you can believe in!)
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To: GQuagmire
Here are some real things you should never say:

It can't get any worse.
What could go wrong?
Traffic looks light today.
Yes your butt does look big.
Your sister really looks hot tonight.

20 posted on 10/20/2009 9:41:58 AM PDT by BubbaBasher ("Liberty will not long survive the total extinction of morals" - Sam Adams)
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