Posted on 01/06/2018 2:39:09 AM PST by sodpoodle
FOR THOSE OF US WHO REMEMBER These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted! Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat? A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!) Q. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years... A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes. Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A.. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake. Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning. Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.. Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'? A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment. Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget. Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year? A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries. Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score? A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom. Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out. Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark? Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.. Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army. Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A. Charley Weaver: His feet. Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD, WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING
Horseradish, mashed potatoes,oatmeal, spaghetti, etc.
I watched the original Manchuria Candidate yesterday. The actors were slapping actresses on the ass all over the place. Made me laugh.
Hollywood Squares w/Paul Lynde as the Center Square?
I’d still rather watch Hollywood Squares than Two and a Half Men.
Thanks for the laughs.
As a child, most of those answers would have gone over my head. Now, having aged, those answers are laugh out loud funny.
Long ago - when Paul Lynd was ‘a rare’ gay character who poked fun at himself. No laughter from the LGBTs today - just anger.
Sorry for the poor formatting - I’m old, ignorant and in a hurry;)
Amazing what they could get away with..
I admit to laughing at these one liners back in the day and laughed again just now reading the post. Yet I wonder if such shows as Hollywood Squares enabled the growth of vulgarity and boorish behavior that have become part of American society over the last fifty years. Then again maybe zingers and innuendo were part of 1950’s television and they just went over my innocent head.
Charlie Weaver’s quip about kissing people and getting out of the Army wouldn’t work now.
Thanks for morning chuckle. :). Also...I feel Paul Lynd would have some kind of comeback to your “poor formatting” line. :)
Bfl
Does anyone know?
I’m pretty sure those answers were scripted.
Funny... but from the wording of those questions, do you REALLY think they weren’t being scripted???!
>> I’m old, ignorant and in a hurry;) <<
You sound like Hillary...
>> I’m pretty sure those answers were scripted. <<
... and the questions were scripted to get to those answers.
****You sound like Hillary...****
Noooooooo..I have an English accent. I also have great legs, no cankles, weigh 125lbs, don’t drink, like men, love my children, divorced a philanderer and have been financially independent and self-supporting my whole life. Law abiding - not even a traffic ticket.
I’m perfect! LOL!!!
Scripted vs. non scripted is easily answered by asking, “Why would a game show need writers?”
FOR THOSE OF US WHO REMEMBER These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted!
Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
Q. Do female frogs croak?
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD, WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING
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