Posted on 03/01/2019 6:26:36 AM PST by sodpoodle
Thanks for the memory!
For us "older folks" to enjoy.
The younger ones will go "Phyllis Who?"
Phyllis Dillerisms...
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. -Phyllis Diller
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? -Phyllis Diller
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing. -Phyllis Diller
The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. -Phyllis Diller
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out. -Phyllis Diller
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. -Phyllis Diller
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them. -Phyllis Diller
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. -Phyllis Diller
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed. -Phyllis Diller
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up. -Phyllis Diller
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room. -Phyllis Diller
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. -Phyllis Diller
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. -Phyllis Diller
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half. -Phyllis Diller
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. -Phyllis Diller
My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me. -Phyllis Diller
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away. -Phyllis Diller
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children. -Phyllis Diller
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.' -Phyllis Diller
The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. -Phyllis Diller
You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type. -Phyllis Diller
God,was she funny!
Funny lady.
L
Thanks for posting. She was a funny lady.
She’s not totally unknown to the younger crowd. She did voices on “Robot Chicken” and “Family Guy.”
https://robotchicken.fandom.com/wiki/Phyllis_Diller
The “Good old Days”. Music, comedians, movies - all original with talent;)
Those were great. Thanks for the comedic blast from the past.
And no foul language required!....................
Here’s one of her many videos on youtube. She was 95 when she died in 2012. I didn’t know that.
Agreed,
even a Harmless Quip
Can get you “Canned!”
Thank you;)
Thanks!
Doing her act---BEFORE she had plastic surgery.
She was often on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. We would always stay up to watch her.
She once joked: We gave our son a banjo, and thought it was a tennis racquet. We didn’t have the heart to correct him. He was already in the semi-final round.
The female answer to Don Rickles...
Phyllis was funny, original and always had a good one liner ready. Like Johnny Carson, she could pull off a witty comeback without a second thought. She and Carson at the same time was almost too much to bear...
And never saw it necessary to be vulgar like most of today’s not funny comics...she did let out a few choice words now and then, but not as a constant part of her dialogue.
“And no foul language required!....................”
And nobody was attacked or diminished. No meanness at all. It is a lost art.
I think she also filled in for Carson.
Loved that woman!
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