Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..
But on a Sirius note, whales get a bad rap. Does this fella look fat to you?
"Do these blue genes make me look fat?
Posted on 01/30/2023 9:00:08 AM PST by sodpoodle
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is shape! Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"
AND.....
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans..
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Neil Armstrong sat down for an interview during Apollo, and was asked about exercise, and he said something similar - “I believe we have a finite number of heartbeats, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to waste mine running around the block.” Well, apparently this didn’t go over very well at the public affairs office at NASA, and a week later he was forced to “clarify” his remarks, and explain how he really loved exercising and staying fit, etc. LOL
You mentioned not feeling well a couple of weeks ago? Is this the first you’ve seen the doctor? If so, I’m not one to criticize you..I keep my distance from them when possible.
If the doctor says we need more sleep, I flirt with the wife more.
If the doctor says to lose weight, I flirt with the wife more.
Sex is the best exercise, good for cardio, helps you burn calories, and sleep better. Trust the science! LOL
The late Peter Steincrohn, MD, regularly preached this in his many books and syndicated columns, back in the 40’s and 50’s.
Enjoy!
I thought that comment was from Mercury program astronaut Gordon Cooper.
Obviously English is not his first language
Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..
But on a Sirius note, whales get a bad rap. Does this fella look fat to you?
"Do these blue genes make me look fat?
Don’t know but the people in the boat need a bigger one.
Does ANYONE look happy at a marathon?
Not sure I would want a doctor who spoke or wrote like that.
Lol, according to this doctor I’ll live forever.
But I still long for an immortal and eternal body. This one has defects. Time for a recall.
You two must be young whippersnappers!
I told my wife the doc wanted a urine and fecal sample when I next visit him.
She said, “Take him a pair of your shorts.”
That boat looks like it’s big enough to take a ride on the whale! 🐋
This limerick contest I will lose,
There are only two words I can choose.
What rhymes with doctor?
I can only find proctor,
So I’ll gamble the time with some booze.
groan!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.