I say this with no malice in my heart. I’ve lived with this and seen both friends and family utterly destroy themselves AND anyone around them with drugs and alcohol.
Walk away. As painful as it is, you simply have to.
It’s a matter of self defense.
L
I appreciate your advice on this. I suppose, as it goes alcoholics tend to lie and lie a lot. I have called her and way too many lies at this point. I would imagine if someone were to search her premises they would probably find a few stashes of vodka put away. Thanks I appreciate everything.
It’s a matter of self defense.
Exactly correct. I've known two fully functional alcoholics in my life. One was a neighbor, the sweetest old lady you'd ever meet in your life. The first clue anyone ever had was when she (Marge) required surgery and afterwards freaked out about spiders all over the walls. Surgeon told her husband (Bob) she was an alcoholic, and to go home, turn the house upside down and find all the places she hid alcohol from him during their 50+ year marriage. The surgeon was exactly correct. Bob found all the bottles, he was shocked. He never knew.
The second fully functional alcoholic (and he was ONLY fully functional when he was drunk) was my own father. A very smart man with a patent to his name just could never stop drinking. He died of alcohol induced dementia at 72.
When we talk about walking away to save one's self as a matter of self defense, that's what I had to do. He was 50 when I walked away. I saw him again a short time before he passed. You see, his drinking utterly destroyed our family. Even though he's been dead since 2010, to this day we kids cannot bear to be around each other because just being together reminds us all of the damage he did.
Sometimes, it's not just the alcoholic that gets walked away from, it's everyone who reminds you of them too.
Best to you, CPB and thanks Lurker for your post. It gave me the courage to type the above.
“Walk away. As painful as it is, you simply have to.”
I was married to an alcoholic and prescription drug addict. I did ALL the work trying to keep him straight. “Don’t let me have more than one drink”. The correct reply to that is, “You can’t make me responsible for your behavior. What you do is up to you.” Unfortunately, I didn’t learn that until AFTER we were divorced. Somehow it was MY fault that he had to drink. I was an absolute wreck and it took 20 years to put myself back together.