Two of the sweetest, most elegant black ladies on earth are in my quilting group- and both are dear friends. One is a chemical engineer, the other is a civil servant. The engineer scraped to put herself through school, the civil servant scraped to put food on the table. Both are of the "old school" culture and will settle for nothing less in their families. The civil servant tells stories of growing up in segregated Baltimore, of how hardship strengthened her family, of how it built her character. She says she's not angry about that chapter of history but thanks the Lord that it is over and that she has every opportunity in the world. She has taught her (brilliant and successful) daughter the same.
The engineer tells stories of dealing with the affirmative action crowd- both those who arrive in the workplace poorly prepared because of racial preferences and those who assume her accomplishments are due to those same preferences. It makes her angry.
The blacks who are obsessed with whites could learn much in my quilt group- by sitting down with another generation and learning those hard-won lessons. They'd learn that not every black American thinks ghetto culture is chic or even remotely clever. They'd learn that not every black American thinks welfare or affirmative action is noble. They'd learn that not every black American thinks old-fashioned values are "white."