Posted on 03/18/2002 1:32:30 AM PST by 2Trievers
I WAS WORRIED about yesterday's Sunday News. It was St. Patrick's Day and there were quite a few references to Ireland. I was concerned that the paper might be stopped and seized at the border. That would be New Hampshire's border with the Socialist Republic of Vermont, where there still may be more cows than people, but the cows have apparently given up any hope of trying to run the place. Vermont's motor vehicle department, and at least one court, won't let a driver have the word "Irish" on her license plate. Interestingly, in Indiana, home of the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame University, it's the other way around: You can't have a license plate unless it has the word "Irish" in it somewhere. Okay, I'm kidding about Indiana (I think). But the Vermont story is true. In denying the lady her "Irish" plate, Vermont has cited its law against plates that "might be offensive or confusing to the general public." Vermont is scared that someone will want to say "NoIrish" so, to prevent this, it decided to apply the ban to all ethnic names. It's a good thing the words "common" and "sense" are too big to fit on a license plate, because they wouldn't stand a chance in the Green Mountain State where the license plates are green and white but the logic is black and blue from so much twisting. No doubt "black" and "white" and various other colors are also verboten in Vermont. "Moon" might also cause offense in a state where they used to sing "Moonlight in Vermont." And what of "White Christmas?" The movie of the same name was set in Vermont but Bing Crosby wouldn't be caught dead in the place today. I'm surprised that New Hampshire motorists are even allowed to drive through our neighboring state with license plates that say "Live free or die" on them. That has got to be confusing to the general public across the river. Not that we here in New Hampshire don't ever get confused by words. Take our report one day last week on the opening of a controversial Planned Parenthood clinic in Manchester. In listing the clinic's services, we meant to write that it provides annual "gynecological" exams. At least, that's what I think we were after. But instead we informed our readers that the clinic offers "genealogical" exams. Needless to say, this provoked a series of wisecracks and observations that would shake any family's tree and would definitely not pass muster in Vermont. Our red-faced reporter's first line of defense was to blame "spellcheck." I thought this was pretty clever; but the problem wasn't with his spelling. It was with his vocabulary. I wonder if English class in the high school of his day was still teaching what we called "word wealth." Every Friday, we would have a little quiz on a new group of words designed to broaden and enrich our vocabulary. It was a great little teaching tool back then and would be so today. I hope New Hampshire still does it. But in Vermont, I suspect it has been dropped in favor of a study of which words or phrases might be politically incorrect or otherwise offensive to non-white, native-born, transgendered, agnostic, socially-challenged gansta rappas. I do pity the poor cows over there.
Well, I for one am exceptionally allergic to Leprechauns and find anything resembling a reference to them offensive...See! I'm breaking out in hives already...where that lawyers number...
I'm not Irish, but the people who carry me home from the bar are. - Yakboy
Excuse me, but we're going to discuss "Guinness" please refer to it by it's proper name : "Nectar of the Heavens", thank you.
; )
How big is your Bumper!?
Put all the words on there you want!!!!!!!!!!
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Obviously you are an individual of taste and culture.
Lagavulin, Dalwhinnie, Craggenmore...the whole series... great stuff! Although the Lagavulin is so smokey/peaty that it overpowers the cigars!
If you're interested, here's something I think you'll also enjoy here.
We do receive foreign aid in Maine. The Colombians subsidize any number of fishermen who can find a mothership in a fogbank.
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