A MESSAGE FOR MOTHERS DAY

“Seek ye first the kingdom of God. and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matthew 6:33).

After an automobile accident in 1996, my mother went to be with the Lord. She had been scheduled to speak at a ladies' meeting the Monday following her death. When my brother found her handwritten message on the dining room table, he typed it up and sent it to all his brothers. This final written legacy left by my mother is one of my greatest treasures.

I. Be Prayerful

“Pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17).

Every morning, my mother would prepare oatmeal for breakfast, then come into the bedroom where the five of us boys slept and say, “Breakfast is on the stove,” then go into the living room and sit in her special chair and read the Bible.

Her routine was like clockwork. If need be, she would let the dust gather on the furniture, but always she let God talk to her. If I got up early, I would see her reading her Bible; if I were late, she would be kneeling at that chair. Many times I tiptoed through the living room while she was on her knees in prayer.

There is no greater thing for children to see than their parents worshiping God at home. They expect them to worship Him at church, but what a blessing when they see it in their own home.

II. Be an Example to the Believer

“Be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12).

“Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer” (Psalm 19:14).

What comes out of your mouth tells your family what is in your heart.

Some parents, including Christians, only yell abusively at their children; they never give any praise or encouragement.

My mother had a very meek and quiet spirit. She never raised her voice unless she was calling us to a meal. Her mannerisms, her words, the way she conducted herself were always an example to the believer. Her love and charity, spirit and faith, love for her husband were always apparent. Often, she went without so others would have something. She was always working toward a purer life and teaching her boys to keep their lives clean and pure.

Every person is either an example for good or for bad.

III. Be Unified With Your Husband

“Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ: Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body” (Ephesians 5:20-23).

My father always had the last word. I often criticized his decisions, but my mother never did. She believed that one day we would as a family stand before God and that her husband would have to account for his family. So she didn't argue with him. She wanted to be an example. She did not want God to have any evidence against her.

Since my mother was obedient and submissive to my father, he treated her with great respect, never putting her down.

I once said to my mother, “I've never heard you and Dad yell at each other.”

“Son, you can't stay awake forever!” she said.

“So you two take care of things after I go to bed.”

“Oh, yes. That's when we do our disagreeing,” she replied.

I could never pit one parent against the other. They somehow had it figured out. If Mom said no, I'd go to Dad and he would ask, “What did your mother say?”

“She said I couldn't go.”

“Then you can't go!”

“But, Dad—”

“No! If your mother doesn't want you to go, then you're not going!”

Many a wife has taken away her husband's authority by saying the opposite of what he had said, and husbands have done the same to wives. Homes are wrecked because the husband and wife have never sat down and agreed as to how they will rear their children. We have the blueprint for child-rearing right here in His Word.

God help us to be biblical Christians and stand where He stands, do what He wants us to do and be united in rearing the children.

IV. Be Loving but Firm

My father was a disciplinarian. I think his favorite verse was Proverbs 22:15: “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” Both my parents had grown up without discipline. So when they married, they believed if they would abide by the Word of God, honor the Word of God and do everything God's way, they could raise up a generation that would not have to experience what they had experienced.

The rewards of a godly life are not momentary; they are eternal.

“My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction: For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth: even as a father the son in whom he delighteth” (Proverbs 3:11, 12).

God makes the father responsible for his children. Basically, children are a loan to their parents, and my father was determined not to let God down.

A saved child can break a parent's heart through selfishness and sin.

V. Be Patient

“Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience: and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us” (Romans 5:1-5).

A woman fretted over the usefulness of her life. She feared she was wasting her potential by being a devoted mother and wife. She wondered if the time and energy invested in her husband and children would make a difference. At times she became very discouraged. So much of what she did seemed to go unnoticed and unappreciated. Is it worth it? she often wondered. Is there something better that I could do with my time and life?

It was during one of those moments of questioning that she heard the still, small voice of her Heavenly Father speaking to her in these words:

“You are a wife and mother. That is what I have called you to be. Much of what you do is hidden from the public eye, but I notice. Most of what you give is done without remuneration, but I am your reward.

“Your husband cannot be what I have called him to be without your support. Your influence upon him is greater than you think, more powerful than you will ever know. I bless him through your service and honor him for your love.

“Your children are more precious to Me than they are to you. I have entrusted them to your care to rear them for Me. What you invest in them is your offering to Me.

“You may never be in the public spotlight, but your obedience shines as bright as a light before Me. Continue on! Remember, you are My servant; do all that you do to please Me.”

That will bring back your patience.

VI. Be Consistent

“Let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways . . . Let your yea be yea: and your nay, nay” (James 1:6-8; 5:12).

Say what you mean and mean what you say! Few things are worse than threatening your child with punishment, then not following through, or telling him you're going to punish him in such an outlandish way that you cannot really do it.

Be consistent in rearing your children for God.

VII. Be Protective

“Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners” (1 Corinthians 15:33).

Protect your child from his friends. And do your best to lead your children's friends to Christ, if they are not already saved.

When I was a boy, a family in our church felt so sorry for my family because they thought we couldn't afford a television. Thinking they were doing us a real service, they went out and bought us a big, oak cabinet console.

Since we had never had a television in our home, we had never even missed it. But we surely were excited when they came to the front door with one!

As soon as they left, Dad said, “Boys, go get your tools. I want you to take the guts out of this TV, because I need shelving for my books!”

So Dad loaded our television with theology books!

Too many Christians are lusting over their televisions and computers, but never once did 1 lust over that bookshelf.

Dad said, “If you never take a drink, you'll never get drunk. If you never smoke a cigarette, you'll never be a sucker.” We didn't even know what drugs were. Protection is what my parents gave our family.

Lester Roloff said, “When the television came in, revival went out.”

If you will spend as much time on your knees as you spend watching the television or computer screen, you will be a Spirit-filled person God can use.

We lived near a lake when I was a child. A rich boy lived close to us in a brick house that had six sliding glass doors. He was two years younger, than I, and his mother hired me to baby-sit him. It was in that house that I learned some things that I wish 1 had never learned. His family was not as protective of him as mine was of me.

The best way to protect your children is to protect yourself.

VIII. Be Careful About Spoiling Them

I grew up with hand-me-downs, and I was grateful to be the third boy, not the fifth!

When you spoil your child, he will do nothing. 1 know young people who have moved out, married and have their own homes. They eat out all the time and then call home when the bills come due at the end of the month and ask their parents to help with the rent.

Some parents have caller ID so when calls come from their own children, they won't answer. They know the only time the kids call is when they want something.

Be careful about spoiling your children.

IX. Be Flexible As Your Children Mature

“When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things” (1 Corinthians 13:11).

Let your children make small decisions as they mature. Let them prove they can be trusted. Let them seek God's will for their lives.

Once a family in our church invited me and my brother to a dance at their house. We told Dad it was a party so he would let us go.

When the mother opened the door, we heard rock music coming from the basement, where the dance was. She was very surprised that we showed up. And we were very surprised when we walked down into the basement. The room turned green, then red, then another color. The music was loud. Little white lights were all over the place. The kids looked like they were rowing boats instead of dancing, except those who were in the corner kissing.

All of a sudden it dawned on me, “We've got to get out of here!” I couldn't wait to get back home. Dad had taught us the truth. We knew what holiness was. When exposed to worldliness, we didn't like it.

God forgive us for loving darkness. The Bible commands, “Flee . . . youthful lusts” (2 Timothy 2:22).

Dad let us choose some things for ourselves. From the time we were small he had said, “You boys have to go at least one year to Bible college. You pick the college from the list 1 will give you.”

My brothers and I are all married, and our parents have sixteen grandchildren. But rearing godly children and having them find the right wives didn't happen by accident; it happened because our parents were flexible as we matured.

When Tim, my oldest brother, was eleven years old, he knew that God wanted him to be a missionary to France. At fifteen, he graduated from high school and was teaching math to the other students.

One night he came running into the kitchen and said, “I know what God wants me to do.” My parents froze. “God wants me to get to France as quickly as I can. I must not waste any time!”

Dad and Mom were scared to death to drive through New York City, but they were taking their boy to the airport to do what God had called him to do.

Dad and Mom stood by the fence and watched the plane take off, tears streaming down their cheeks. They gave away their firstborn to God because he was on loan to them from God.

When Tim was home on furlough about two years ago, he told my Dad, “In the last thirty years, I've only been home with you two years. A lot of French people are going to Heaven because of that.”

In eternity we as a family will never be separated. We will sit around the throne of God and say, “We did it right! We glorified God with our lives!”

X. Be Willing to Let Them Go

Release your children from your apron strings.

My mother did not call her sons' wives daughters-in-law; she called them daughters-in-love. Never a time did I call my mother but that she said, “I prayed for you today.”

My parents were taking my brothers to camp the morning I went off to Bible college. Mother left a note by my bed:

Dear Dan,

I'm sorry that I wasn't here to see you off, but I gave you a kiss. Keep a high standard of living in college. “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

With love, Dad, Mom and the boys

I have that letter framed and on the wall in my home. What a treasure from my mother! At the bottom of this list of ways to rear a godly family, she wrote,

A mother not only has a special place reserved in Heaven, but she holds an influence in the lives of her children and all who know her.

Mothers, are you virtuous? What are you doing to be a godly influence in the home? What legacy will you leave behind when God calls you Home? Are you saved? Are you surrendered? Are you serving God?

Encourage your children with Scripture while they are young, then be willing to let them go.

- Evangelist Dan Knickerbocker, Twenty-Three-Year Pastorate in Annsville, New York; Now Evangelist for Five Years, Headquartered in Powell, Tennessee

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