"While Simon held numerous press conferences to blast what he called a "pay to play" atmosphere in the Davis administration, the bulk of the media attention remained focused on the governor." REWRITE: While Simon held numerous press conferences to blast what he called a "pay to play" atmosphere in the Davis administration, the bulk of the biased media attention remained focused on blindly loyal to the governor.
REWRITE: While Simon held numerous press conferences to blast what he called a "pay to play" atmosphere in the Davis administration, the bulk of the biased media attention remained focused on blindly loyal to the governor.
<LOL> Oh,oh. I don't wish my praise to be taken as license by you to go overboard.
Before my comment your writing was more in keeping with the way they disguise their bias.
Here's some suggestions to get you back on track.<G>
- biased media is so cliché it's redundant.
Replace bias with second-rate and you begin to say something about their product rather than their inclination.
- blindly loyal to is far too obvious. Replace it with "media, apparently constrained by editorial policies from wasting their time covering the Simon campaign, their attention" [then restore the remainder of the sentence] "remained focused on the governor."
Collaboration can be fun!