I have found that what the men wrote home to their wives gives the best insight into their thoughts and character. In that day and age when sickness, disease, and the elements conspired to take many a soul to an early grave, the family men tended to express themselves very directly and very transparently.
Here is one about the unsung "Lee" of South Carolina:
"In one engagement he had seen one son fall; and, sending another son to his succor, had seen him fall, too, and had ridden back to kiss the dying youth and whisper in his ear -- then back to the fight and to sleep on the ground that night in the rain, not knowing the fate of his children." –On General Wade Hampton, CSA from “The Tragic Era” pg. 509