There was once a happy little fly buzzing around a barn. One day, she happened upon a large pile of fresh cow manure. Since it had been hours since her last meal and she was feeling hunger pangs, she flew down to the irresistible delicacy and began to munch out. She ate, and ate, and then, she ate some more!!!!
Finally, she decided she'd had plenty. She washed her face with her tiny front legs, belched a few times, then attempted to fly away. But alas, she had pigged out far too much and could not get off the ground. She looked around, wondering what to do about this unpleasant situation, when she spotted a pitchfork leaning upright against the barn wall. She'd found a solution!! She realized if she could just become airborne, she'd be able to fly again.
So, she painstakingly climbed to the top of the handle. Once there, she took a deep breath, spread her tiny fly wings, and leaped confidently into the air. She dropped like a rock and splattered all over the floor, quite the dead little fly.
So, what is the moral of this sad story?
"Never fly off the handle when you know you're full of sh*t".
Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity
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Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
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Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat
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Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything
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California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda
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Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
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Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet
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Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water
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Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids.Home of the largest amount of dumb-democrats. We banned butterflies.
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Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism
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Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
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Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Are Real Good
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Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
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Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
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Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
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Kansas: First Of The Rectangular States
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Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
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Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
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Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
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Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
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Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)
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Michigan: First Line Of Defense -- From The Canadians
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Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
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Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
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Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
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Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Crazies, And Very Little Else
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Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
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Nevada: Hookers and Poker!
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New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone
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New Jersey: The Garbage State
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New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent pets
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New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney ...
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North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable
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North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
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Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan
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Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing
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Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner
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Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
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Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island
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South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender
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South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
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Tennessee: The Educashun State
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Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)
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Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus!
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Vermont: Yep
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Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
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Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!
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Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
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West Virginia: One Big Happy Family... Really!
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Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese
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Wyoming: Where Men Are Men ... and the sheep are scared!
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