I was hoping to explain a few things to you, and yes, the South was quite a bit less totalitarian than the North. The South didn't need to burn their bridges to Northern Sympathizers, those who spoke up were treated harshly.
Surely Unionists in Tennessee or Alabama weren't given the best treatment either. I wouldn't use the word "totalitarian" in the context of either side's treatment of dissenters though. There was a war on, and what was done has to be seen in the context of other wars we fought.
Like most of us, the latter day Confederates know more about US history than CS history. So they can win support talking about instances of oppression in the North. However, it pays to learn more about the history of the Confederacy as well, so that one can put things in context.
This sounds like a good place to start: "Southern Rights: Political Prisoners and the Myth of Confederate Constitutionalism" (more here).