I would argue that if infidelity is the cause then the legalities of the marraige are in question. After all, is not infidelity illegal if in no other sense that the moral one? And is not the continued deceit a detracting factor from the marriage? While I think I understand your argument, I disagree with the implicit premise that the woman has no responsibility to the relationship and that the father caught in such has the burden of raising another man's child.
Wouldn't that encourage infidelity from both partners? If I can go have an affair with a married woman I don't have to fear the consequences, her husband will be responsible for my actions. Wrong! The hallmark of being a grown up is taking responsibility for your OWN actions.
A man should pay the costs for a child not biologically his own only if (a) it's legally adopted by him or (b) he has custody.
Why force a man to pay for his unfaithful wife's sin? Why rub salt continually in his wounds just because he's the man. Why keep reminding him of his ex-wife's treachery every single month? She is the one who sinned, she should be the one who pays.
[of course I do not accept the concept of no-fault divorce either. Someone caused the marriage to fail, they should be the ones to suffer from it]
God Save America (Please)
What this proves conclusively is that you are an idiot. A married woman BETRAYS HER MARRIAGE VOWS (and contract), screws another man, gets pregnant, LIES to the man she is married to about the parentage of the child, and you think it is just fine?? GIVE ME A BREAK.
IF the HUSBAND of said woman, KNOWLINGLY ADOPTS the illegitimate child, THEN you have a point--in any other case, a rank injustice is being done to the innocent male involved.
To hell with the previous legal precedent--back then the tools to prove parentage with certainty didn't exist---now they do--and it is time to change the legal system to match todays knowledge. The legitimate course is to use the DNA evidence to FIND THE BIOLOGICAL FATHER and force HIM to pay child support.
***BBBZZZTTTTT!!!!*** Thank you for playing.
The correct answer, of course, is "the man who made half of the child is it".
This was true until even Dr. Laura started calling men merely 'sperm donors'.
I think you are wrong in the extreme.
Are you willing to put the shoe on the other foot? Should a wife be responsible financially, and personally, taking care of the child etc, for the children a man sires outside of his marriage with another women?
No, that is the hallmark of being a patsie.
Could that be your consience calling?
but I have had a problem with men who disown children who are born withing the marriage who are not their bio kin.
I have a huge problem with adultery and fraud. I have a huge problem with conscienceless, treacherous women. I have a huge problem with working, suffering, and struggling all my life to get to a financial position to afford a stay-at-home wife and mother, so I can achieve my lifelong goal of having kids of my own -- only to have her betray and nullify an entire lifetime of work by bearing other men's children and passing them off as mine. Why on earth should I have ever gotten a job, gotten an education, saved, invested, and just plain SUFFERED all those years, only to have my investment STOLEN by cuckoldry?
That child needs a father, and you, sir, are it.
No. The adulterous lover is the father.
that is the hallmark of being a grown up.
No, being FAIR is the hallmark of being a grown up.
Your profile says, you're a homeschooling family and a mother of four. I'm shocked that such a person would take such a wicked position. Tell ya what, have your HUSBAND read this thread and see what he says.
That is a crock of excrement. Under your value system, then, I should be allowed to randomly assign kids for your husband to take care of. "You, sir, are it!"
I guess I'm "old-Fashioned;" I was ALWAYS TAUGHT that a Man & Woman made a SACRED Contract--Legally, Spiritually, Morally Binding--when they agreed to "Marry!"
BOTH Parties agree to acccept their new "partner,"--"As IS!!"(including pre-existing children.)
"Codicils" to a Marriage Contract that allow either Partner to produce children OUTSIDE OF the "Marriage Family" are rare-to-nonexistant!
If a Woman in a "Marriage Contract" elects to VIOLATE the contract to have a child by an unsuspecting "Sperm Donor," the "Husband" has NO OBLIGATION to work to support the "Bastard!" (The term, "Bastard" was INVENTED for this very situation!)
If a Woman in a Marriage Contract produces a "Bastard Child," SHE (AND the Irresponsible "Father") is SOLELY REPONSIBLE for the welfare of the "Bastard!"
DUE to the Nature of Human Reproductive Biology, the "Mother" is nearly COMPLETELY (except for Rape) responsible for the identity of the father of her children!
NO "Marriage Vows," or "Marriage Contract" require a "Husband" to support a "Bastard!!"
I CAN'T BELIEVE ANYONE who understands the precepts of Western Civilization is IGNORANT of the BASIC RULES of western Marriage!!
In OUR culture, "DAD's" are EXPECTED to support "their" children; they support the children of "others" BY CHOICE ALONE!
If an "Errant Wife" elects to create children with a "Lover;" the "wife" & the "Lover" are the "Responsible Parties," NOT the "Cuckolded Husband!"
DNA DOES COUNT!
Doc
Gee. That sounds swell.
Allow me tell you about "the law", then.
A young woman gets pregnant in, say, Bangor, Maine. She manages to get a phone book for, say, Des Moines, Iowa. She picks out a man's name. She tells the local "child support" authorities that "yes, THIS is the baby's father". A hearing is scheduled; the "father" may or may not be notified. If he fails to appear in court, by default............he's slapped with child support. How much? Based on the court's "best guess" of what he makes.
Think that's unlikely or far-fetched? Think it's impossible? Think again.........and welcome to the real world.
Those who feel compelled to break the bonds of honor are just as liable and must bear the responsibility for their actions.
As for those who would feel compelled to continue such a relationship, there are plenty of other people out there waiting to abuse you, why not try some variety?
I'd be just as compassionatte about the poor child as anyone, but that's simply not the issue here. It's just as inhumane to condemn a person to endure the burdon of such a relationship once it has been destroyed by such an event.
At any rate the whole scenario makes a wonderful arguement for people to deeply consider and take the commitment necessary to make a marraige work very seriously.