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Trying for "connectednes" or "reasoning" with very young children is impossible, and frustration at this failure can lead to abuse. A little whap on the back of a toddler butt can be very effective, esp. with those plastic diapers, it sounds much worse than it feels ! I spanked my children rarely but it was enough to let them know I meant business and it got to the point where all they needed was the "evil mom-eye" look to straighten them out. My teenagers (and even the 21 year-old) still won't mess with me if I give him that look !

We've probably all had the pleasure (not) of watching a timid, afraid to discipline parent trying to reason with their out-of-control, screaming brat-child in a store or restaraunt. As soon as I hear them speaking in that sing-songy "now sweetie, you don't want mommy (or daddy) to feel sad" type voice, my brain screams !! Of course the kid wants mommy or daddy to be sad, they want mommy to be sad enough to give in and buy them the toy or candy or whatever it is they want NOW !

This reminds me of the words of my mother when I used to wimper over something.

"I'll give you something to cry about".

That usually shut me up double time, but if not, I got more than a spanking.

And thets nootttttthing wong wiv me!