Posted on 04/20/2002 7:31:08 AM PDT by yankeedame
Hey, gang! Since we had such a hoot with "Worst Cars of the Millenniun" how about having a go at this? And remember: Keep your punches clean and no hitting below the belt. At the sound of the bell come out fighting. **DING** )
Presenting....The Ultimate Chick Cars of all Time
#5 Dodge Neon
Neons are Barbie cars: little and cute and rounded in the hips. Even in black, they are feminine and adorable, only just a bit tougher, like Tattoo Barbie."
#4 VW Jetta
" Anything by Volkswagen is a chick car. VW realized this years ago and joined forces with another company to sell guy cars-- they called that company Porsche."
#3 Mazada Miata
"I discovered this phenomenon when I got a Miata. 'Girlie car'. That all I heard."
#2 VW Cabriolet
"All teen-age girls classify them as cute. 'Nuff said."
#1 VW Beetle
" The VW Beetle. A chick car, definitely. And made to be so. How? I know of no other automoblie with a FLOWER VASE as standard equipment."
Presenting....The Ultimate Guy Cars of All Time
#5 Dodge Viper
"It might be a guy car if there was a movie or TV show built entirely around it. Other examples include Burt Reynold's Trans Am from Smokey and the Bandit, Nash Bridges' Hemi Cuba convertible and Jim Rockford's Firebird."
#4 Ford F-150 Pickup
"Any car with numbers or letters for a name, or tacked on the end, can become a guy car. For example, F-150 or Civic-SI."
#3 Chevy Camero
"...with twice the horse power needed. Used to show other guys how manly you really are."
#2 Chevy Corvette
"I believe the main aspect that determines the male/female state of a car is based on the engine compartment(hood)-to-cab-lenght ratio. A car such as a pickup or Corvette has a large hood-to-cab-lenght ratio."
#1 Ford Mustang
"A back seat guaranteed to be too small for your mother-in-law."
My best friend, who is gay says white convertible Miatas are standard issue when one comes out of the closet, they come with a rainbow sticker and pink triangle already on them ;^)
He drives a VW GTI, however.
Personally, I'd like to have a '57 Thunderbird.
Can't agree more. By the way 95% of the owners of 911s are male. One of the chicks that I know that owns one (actually she owns two) is the actress that plays Scully on the X-Files.
"You can set my truck on fire, roll it down a hill But I still wouldn't trade it for a Coupe DeVille It's got an eight foot bed that never has to be made You know if it weren't for trucks we wouldn't have tailgates I met all my wives in traffic jams, You know there's something women like about a Pickup Man"
--- by Kerry Kurt Phillips/Howard Perdew as performed by Joe Diffie
Volvos, Subarus and Saabs are for q_eers. Camaros and Vettes are for drivers.
El Caminos are for wife-beaters and natural-born-killers.
Acura Integra: I have always wanted to own the Buick of Japanese sport sedans
AMG Hummer: I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole
Buick Park Avenue: I am older than 34 of the 50 states
Cadillac Catera: I learned nothing from the Cimarron
Cadillac Eldorado: I am a pimp
Cadillac Deville: I am a very good Mary Kay Salesperson
Chevrolet Camaro: I enjoy beating up people
Chevrolet Caprice: I enjoy having people slow to 55 mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them
Chevrolet Cavalier coupe: I start 11th grade in the fall
Chevrolet Chevette: I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'vette.
Chevrolet Corvette: I am having a mid-life crisis
Chevrolet El Camino: I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
Chevrolet Tracker: I start 12th grade in the fall
Chrysler Cordoba: I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a Mercedes Benz product.
Datsun 280Z: I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
Dodge Aspen: I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower
Dodge Neon: I cannot stand the Macarena
Dodge Power Wagon: I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
Ford Crown Victoria: I enjoy having people slow to 55 mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them
Ford Explorer: I will not be caught dead in a minivan
Ford Mustang 5.0: I slow down to 85 in school zones
Ford Mustang 2.3: I avoid Yugos and VW microbuses at the stoplights
Ford Ranchero: I am leading a Militia to overthrow the government
Ford Tempo: I teach fourth grade special education and I voted for Adlai Stevenson
Honda Civic: I just graduated and have no credit at all
Honda Accord: I lack originality and am basically a lemming
Hyundai Accent: I delivered pizza for years in order to get this car
Hyundai Tiburon: I miss the tasteful, conservative and understated styling of the 1974 AMC Matador
Infiniti Q45: I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending
Isuzu I-Mark: I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than the Daihatsu
Jaguar XJS V-12: I am so rich I will pay $60,000.00 for a car that is in the shop 280 days of the year
Kia Sephia: I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu of America
Lexus LS400: I am the lawyer suing the owner of the Infiniti Q45
Lincoln Town Car: I live for bingo and covered supper dishes
Mercury Grand Marquis: I live for bridge and covered supper dishes
Mercedes 600SL: I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
Mercedes 600SEL: I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole
Mazda Miata: I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler
MGB: I am dating a mechanic
Nissan Altima: I don't know what it means, either
Nissan Maxima: I am still in the closet
Nissan 300ZX: I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings
Oldsmobile Cutlass: I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts
Oldsmobile Cutlass Cruiser: I get carsick driving minivans
Oldsmobile Delta 88 Diesel: I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
Plymouth Neon: I enjoy the Macarena
Pontiac Trans Am: I have a switchblade in my sock
Porsche 928: I am dating big-haired women who would otherwise be inaccessable to me
Range Rover: I do not care about J.D. Powers or his surveys
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow: I think Maggie Thatcher is a touch too Whig for me
Rover 3500: I am married to a mechanic
Saturn SL1: I hope someday to make it to a gathering in Spring Hill
Saturn SL2: I made it to a gathering in Spring Hill
Toyota Camry: I have always wanted to own the Oldsmobile of Japanese family sedans
Volkswagen Beetle: I still watch Partridge Family reruns
Volkswagen Cabriolet: I am out of the closet
Volkswagen Jetta: I enjoy putting out engine fires
Volkswagen Microbus: I am tripping right now
Volkswagen New Beetle: I still watch Partridge Family reruns
Volvo 740 Wagon: I am afraid of my wife
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