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Choosing childlessness
Boston Globe ^ | April 29, 2002 | Cathy Young

Posted on 04/29/2002 3:22:45 AM PDT by Cincinatus' Wife

Edited on 04/13/2004 2:07:44 AM PDT by Jim Robinson. [history]

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To: glory;grlfrnd
I'm not saying your complaints aren't valid...

Well I am. How incredibly self-infatuated! Personally, I find no reason to disagree with my wife on this issue. She claims the problem with professional women finding mates is they won't get off their fat a$$s and look somewhere different than the places their lives normally take them...even when those places are obviously non-productive. (It's not all about you ladies) They much prefer to complain about their circumstances than change them.

Want a handi-man? Go to the free classes at home depot.

Want a moral man? Go to church.

Want a jock? Go to sporting events.

Want a businessman? Go play golf.

Want a lush and a satyr? Go to a nightclub.

61 posted on 04/29/2002 11:05:39 AM PDT by Woahhs
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To: hellinahandcart
Thanks for the effort, but now I remember why I quit trying to figure out women. ha ha.
62 posted on 04/29/2002 11:12:15 AM PDT by tdadams
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To: Goldi-Lox
I work with Engineers, and I love them, but they struggle every day trying to "communicate." They just wanna fix stuff, not talk about it.

That sounds great. I'd love to just end up in a bear hug after my guy tells me how to fix my problems at work or whatever. I don't want "communication" from a boyfriend.

Yeah, you can tell I'm annoyed I'm still single, but some women need to buy a clue about who to date. A degree means nothing. My mom has a Master's degree in English while my dad went to technical school to learn about air conditioners, yet they've been married for 25 years. And they're happy :)

63 posted on 04/29/2002 11:17:05 AM PDT by Hawkeye's Girl
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To: JediGirl
Miss, I checked out your profile and you ARE gawgeous! If I had a son that let you get away, I'd dress HIM in a skirt.

You are already far beyond your contemporaries.

64 posted on 04/29/2002 11:34:28 AM PDT by Woahhs
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To: grlfrnd
I'm 21 and a city dweller. I am a heterosexual living in a city with a disproprtionate homosexual population (I believe per capita it is in the top 5 "gay cities"). I am not a "playa"; I don't even date a lot of girls, forget sleeping around. I just want to be committed to one girl.

So, having gotten that far, I'm not bisexual, I don't like to wear women's clothing, and I'm not kinky. I can string together more than a few intelligable sentences. What do you consider drinking "a lot"? A drink once in awhile after work, or on a Friday or Saturday night? Having gotten this far, is smoking a joint after work or on the weekends an immediate no-no?

why, then, am I single. Why, then, can't I meet any desireable women?

and please, if you say it's because (judging from the pics on my profile page) that my room is too messy, that's not my room!!!!

65 posted on 04/29/2002 11:49:43 AM PDT by Benson_Carter
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To: tdadams
now I remember why I quit trying to figure out women. ha ha.

Hey now. Don't get me started on men and why they make the choices they do.

Maybe you can explain why so many intelligent men with very decent jobs decide to marry high-maintenance girls whose only outstanding qualities are bad tempers and controlling personalities.

This came up in a discussion about a male friend's disastrous marriage (I was the one who advised him beforehand to run like hell from this particular girl). The men in the group were of the opinion that "she was probably good in bed" and that was the depth of their analysis. I said "No one is THAT good in bed", and they all got a good chuckle out of that, but it's true. There's more to a marriage than sex, and moments of bliss don't necessarily balance out years of hell.

66 posted on 04/29/2002 12:44:32 PM PDT by hellinahandcart
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To: Benson_Carter
Committed relationships don't start out as committed relationships, they start out as dates. So just date. Keep it light; at 21 most girls are as commitment-shy as the guys (I know I was).
67 posted on 04/29/2002 1:04:58 PM PDT by hellinahandcart
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To: Cincinatus' Wife
"Men, she wrote, have an atavistic need to dominate and to ''protect their eggshell egos from high-achieving women.''

It's actually this b***h attitude towards men that turns men off!

68 posted on 04/29/2002 1:08:08 PM PDT by Destructor
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To: JediGirl; khepera; erizona; formerlib
And I would have to say that your statement that one is because lots of city guys are gay is well, a little ridiculous.

Are you pro-gays????? Because it sounds like you are. You really don't know what you're talking about. Of course the pool of available men is lessened by homosexuality.

69 posted on 04/29/2002 1:38:54 PM PDT by I_Love_My_Husband
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To: grlfrnd
"Of course the pool of available men is lessened by homosexuality."

Of course, the same could be said for the lesbians and bi-sexuals. Today, we have an interesting situation. There are many bi-sexuals because they can't make up their minds which way they want to swing. So, they just go both ways. It is called being comfortable with your sexuality.

70 posted on 04/29/2002 1:41:19 PM PDT by Don Myers
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To: grlfrnd
Of course the pool of available men is lessened by homosexuality.

I didn't know homosexuals where men! I thought they where just perverts. What kind of womam need these kind of men.

71 posted on 04/29/2002 1:42:02 PM PDT by Khepera
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To: Benson_Carter
Benson, I dunno why. Seriously, there should be some gorgeous women here at freep or in conservative circles. I want to say you're gorgeous, but since I'm engaged and I really am not supposed to be flirting, I'm not going to say it.
72 posted on 04/29/2002 1:42:18 PM PDT by I_Love_My_Husband
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To: Benson_Carter
Ok, you have nothing to worry about. Let's just say that. I'm sure women will be beating your down.
73 posted on 04/29/2002 1:43:48 PM PDT by I_Love_My_Husband
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To: hellinahandcart
Maybe you can explain why so many intelligent men with very decent jobs decide to marry high-maintenance girls whose only outstanding qualities are bad tempers and controlling personalities.

There are a lot of very successful guys who don't want a marriage per se, they just want an arm ornament and a sex-bot. There are a lot of women willing to provide that in spades. The problem is that most guys think they can control/ignore these women, but in practice the guys find out they've bought a handful after they are married.

The REASON why intelligent and successful men have relationships with these bimbos is a bit uglier in truth. Men want a relationship with a woman they can consider their peer, and they also want sex. For very intelligent and successful men, finding a proper peer in the female population is very difficult as the population of women does not have its qualities distributed in the same way or shape as the qualities of men. Lacking a suitable female, they opt to purchase a bimbo; at least with a bimbo you have a known quantity as it were. I know a lot of very nice and intelligent guys that took this route. Lacking the ability to find a proper mate, they flexed their considerable market power and acquired a convenient mate instead. They don't tell this to their wives, but they talk about it among themselves. Men have their own motives and priorities, just like women do.

One thing you see a lot in relationships among intelligent and financially well-off men these days is the marriage to quiet girls utterly beneath their station (e.g. un-americanized asian girls as a popular choice) as a third option. Lacking a proper mate, they would perfer to have a mate that won't interfere with what they do as a second option, rather than buying a corrosive-but-beautiful woman. This isn't as great an option as finding a perfect mate, but it is a hell of a lot easier on the mind and soul than having to put up with a spoiled bimbo with a personality disorder. In some circles (e.g. the financial world) having bad-tempered eye candy is still the defacto standard, but in other circles (e.g. high tech) this has fallen out of favor for being married to "well tempered but ordinary looking" girls. What this really shows, though, is a difference in values between the world of wealthy bankers and the world of wealthy geeks.

74 posted on 04/29/2002 1:53:23 PM PDT by tortoise
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To: grlfrnd
hahah well thank you for the compliments, but maybe you could let all the 21 + girls here in NY know that I am single and available for a good time!

this stinks!

75 posted on 04/29/2002 1:54:26 PM PDT by Benson_Carter
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To: Don Myers; grlfrnd, Khepera; Clint N. Suhks
There are many bi-sexuals because they can't make up their minds which way they want to swing. So, they just go both ways. It is called being comfortable with your sexuality.

No, it is called being comfortable with perversion as all bi-sexuals participate in the sexual perversion known as homosexuality.

76 posted on 04/29/2002 2:33:36 PM PDT by FormerLib
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To: FormerLib
You got that right. Why are people so confused?
77 posted on 04/29/2002 2:37:22 PM PDT by Khepera
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To: Don Myers
There are many bi-sexuals because they can't make up their minds which way they want to swing. So, they just go both ways. It is called being comfortable with your sexuality.

Don, are you gay or bisexual? This sounds like a very gay thing to say. I don't know of any heterosexuals that would say such a thing, especially a conservative one.

78 posted on 04/29/2002 2:42:19 PM PDT by I_Love_My_Husband
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To: grlfrnd
Of course the pool of available men is lessened by homosexuality.

But homosexual men are not in the "pool of men available to women", are they? They're in a different pool, where marriage-minded women usually won't go swimming. So the gay percentage in a city doesn't affect the search for a mate. It's almost irrelevent from that standpoint, unless you've somehow landed in a really gay enclave like Provincetown or something, and are wondering why there don't seem to be any straight men or women around at all...

79 posted on 04/29/2002 2:53:14 PM PDT by hellinahandcart
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To: Nonstatist
Sure we can replace one set of peoples with another, but frankly, if we in the U.S. replace our 'peoples' with Muslims, I don't hold out much hope for our future.
80 posted on 04/29/2002 2:53:21 PM PDT by MEGoody
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