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In Order to be a Liberal, You Must Believe.......
Email | Unknown

Posted on 05/10/2002 9:56:34 AM PDT by Sen Jack S. Fogbound

In Order To Be a Liberal

You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of funding.

You have to believe that the same public school teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read, is qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

You have to believe that trial lawyers are selfless heroes and doctors are overpaid.

You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of Chinese communists.

You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the brilliance of the sun, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being gay is natural.

You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but pasty, revisionist activists who've never been outside Seattle do.

You have to believe that self esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

You have to believe there was no art before federal funding.

You have to believe there was no housing before HUD.

You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.

You have to believe the free market that gives us 500+ channels, can't deliver the quality that PBS does.

You have to believe that without a federal Department of Energy, there would be no gasoline or electricity.

You have to believe the NRA is bad, because they stand up for all of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because they stand up for a few parts of the Constitution.

You have to believe that taxes are too low but ATM fees are too high.

You have to believe that Harriet Tubman, Cesar Chavez, and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than George Washington, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas A. Edison.

You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

You have to believe second-hand smoke is more dangerous than anthrax or sarin gas.

You have to believe Rosie O'Donnell is brilliant.

You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: liberal
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Have I left out anything?
1 posted on 05/10/2002 9:56:34 AM PDT by Sen Jack S. Fogbound
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To: Sen Jack S. Fogbound
How about doing us a favor and not post a forwarded e-mail that has been posted here about EIGHT MILLION FRICKING TIMES.

No e-mail posts should ever be allowed at FR.

2 posted on 05/10/2002 10:01:48 AM PDT by ThreeYearLurker
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To: ThreeYearLurker
Thank you for your polite request! I did check the search and did not find anything. I had thought you'all might enjoy it!

Sorry about that!

3 posted on 05/10/2002 10:04:47 AM PDT by Sen Jack S. Fogbound
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To: ThreeYearLurker
Lighten up, Francis; never hurts to be reminded.
4 posted on 05/10/2002 10:04:55 AM PDT by drc43
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To: Sen Jack S. Fogbound
Haven't seen it before and I did enjoy it. Thanks from me anyway.
5 posted on 05/10/2002 10:05:58 AM PDT by rhombus
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To: Sen Jack S. Fogbound
I agree with rhombus.
6 posted on 05/10/2002 10:11:06 AM PDT by johniegrad
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To: Sen Jack S. Fogbound
To be a liberal, you must believe in a free market, civil liberties, no foreign entangling alliances, and a limited Constitutional republic. All good things.

To be a conservative, you must believe in pretty much the same thing.

Most of those who today are called liberal, aren't. And many "conservatives" fall far short of conservatism too.

Today, the people who support the above values are called libertarians. But they can just as easily be called "true liberal/conservatives."

7 posted on 05/10/2002 10:12:23 AM PDT by Commie Basher
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To: Commie Basher
You forgot to include marijuana, child pornography, mercenaries, and Palestinians.
8 posted on 05/10/2002 10:14:14 AM PDT by johniegrad
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To: Sen Jack S. Fogbound
An oldie but goodie. This is a better use of bandwidth than endless evolution vs. creation threads. Don't worry about the critics.
9 posted on 05/10/2002 10:16:25 AM PDT by BigBobber
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Comment #10 Removed by Moderator

To: Sen Jack S. Fogbound
Have seen it before, but it's good once in a while to be reminded. Ya did good!!
11 posted on 05/10/2002 10:18:43 AM PDT by Inspectorette
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To: Sen Jack S. Fogbound
I'm a liberal. Let's give this a whack.

You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of funding.

No.

You have to believe that the same public school teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read, is qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

Yes. *Any* sex ed is better than none at all.

You have to believe that trial lawyers are selfless heroes and doctors are overpaid.

I think *both* are overpaid. In a truly free market they wouldn't be, but both professions go out of their way to keep themselves underpopulated and thus highly priced.

You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of Chinese communists.

No. BTW, there is no trade-off between the two.

You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the brilliance of the sun, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

No. Again, there's no trade-off.

You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being gay is natural.

No. I don't think pink hair is natural either, but I still don't think people who dye their hair deserve eternal damnation.

You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

No; no.

You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but pasty, revisionist activists who've never been outside Seattle do.

Most, but not all hunters care about nature. Enviros care about nature too, pasty or not.

You have to believe that self esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

No.

You have to believe there was no art before federal funding.

No.

You have to believe there was no housing before HUD.

No.

You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.

Not in this country.

You have to believe the free market that gives us 500+ channels, can't deliver the quality that PBS does.

I don't watch a lot of TV, so can't say.

You have to believe that without a federal Department of Energy, there would be no gasoline or electricity.

No.

You have to believe the NRA is bad, because they stand up for all of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because they stand up for a few parts of the Constitution.

I think the NRA is bad because they are a bunch of trigger happy kooks. I think the ACLU is good because it stands for freedom and peoples' rights.

You have to believe that taxes are too low but ATM fees are too high.

I think taxes are OK. ATM fees - who cares? Change your bank if you need to.

You have to believe that Harriet Tubman, Cesar Chavez, and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than George Washington, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas A. Edison.

No.

You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

No. SATs are not racist. Quotas are.

You have to believe second-hand smoke is more dangerous than anthrax or sarin gas.

No. Is there a trade-off here that I am missing? Will cigarette smoke protect me from anthrax?

You have to believe Rosie O'Donnell is brilliant.

Who is Rosie O'Donnell?

You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

No. You are thinking of communism. The US is pretty socialistic and it works pretty well.

12 posted on 05/10/2002 10:36:22 AM PDT by luckyluke
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To: luckyluke
In order to be a liberal you have to believe that to refute a point that is counter to your beliefs, all you have to do is say 'no'.
13 posted on 05/10/2002 10:43:08 AM PDT by spodefly
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To: spodefly
In order to be a liberal you have to believe that to refute a point that is counter to your beliefs, all you have to do is say 'no'.

Huh?

I don't seek to refute anything. The original post was about what liberals are supposed to believe. I said 'no' about the things I don't believe.

PS: I don't claim to speak for all liberals. No liberals were hurt in the making of this post. Offer valid at participating liberals only.

14 posted on 05/10/2002 10:49:24 AM PDT by luckyluke
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To: ThreeYearLurker
has been posted here about EIGHT MILLION FRICKING TIMES.

Yeah, I know, this thing has been liberally posted here! If they wanna be conservative with their postings they ought to post 'I Am a Bad American' by Alice Cooper which has never been posted here!

15 posted on 05/10/2002 10:50:13 AM PDT by Revolting cat!
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To: luckyluke
lol...WHAT are you talking about?
16 posted on 05/10/2002 10:55:04 AM PDT by Psycho_Bunny
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To: luckyluke
No liberals were hurt in the making of this post. Offer valid at participating liberals only.

LOL. You're also an exception to the stereotype that liberals have no sense of humor.

17 posted on 05/10/2002 10:57:21 AM PDT by Lurking Libertarian
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To: Revolting cat!
Snicker!
18 posted on 05/10/2002 10:58:19 AM PDT by Diddle E. Squat
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To: Psycho_Bunny
I think LuckyLuke might reside in, or near, Murrysville.
19 posted on 05/10/2002 10:59:58 AM PDT by jla
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Comment #20 Removed by Moderator


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