Bob the Bilda=Bob the Builder, for those who don't have small children around. Tool sets available at Toys 'R Us and Home Depot.
Posted on 05/17/2002 4:40:20 PM PDT by Pokey78
At cinemas all over the world today, millions of moviegoers are patiently waiting in line to get out of the latest Star Wars film. Beat the crowds with our handy synopsis to the latest in this classic series - Star Wars Episode Five Part Three Chapter 11: Attack of the Pims:
Five years have passed since the defeat of the Phantom Menace, Slobba the Dan (see Episode One). Mired in decay and corruption, the Trade Federation is beginning to fragment as outlying solar systems fall to a sinister separatist movement led by the mysterious Count Loobyoo, the Death Star of the Nether regions, whom we first met in Episode Eight. He and his droid R-U-1-2 now command thousands of young clones. "Stabilise your rear deflectors!" cries Wim Koko in the cockpit of his Schengen, but, before they can, he and his crew have gone down in flames over the Federation capital of Crepuscula, as foreshadowed in Episode Four: the Prequel to Episode Two.
Anodyne Skytalker, the idealistic young spin apprentice of Episode Nine: the Sequel to Episode 12, is now Chancellor of Noolaboo. So powerful is he in the ways of the Tone that some say he is the Chosen One referred to in an ancient prophecy of the E-Unuchs. Others say his abilities have led to an arrogance that may prove dangerous for the Federation and eventually lead to the destruction of Noolaboo. They do not know that one day Anodyne will succumb to the call of the Dark Side and become Darth Faker, Lord of the Five Tests, as seen in Episode Seven: the Pre-Sequel to Chapter Three.
As Chapter 11 begins, the old queen, Bigg-On Jinn, has passed on, and Princess Hurleia has a strange feeling she may have experienced the Force during the night but isn't entirely sure with whom. Anodyne is dining with his Croni knights when a sinister benefactor, Coppa the Feel, arrives, bearing a donation of 100,000 bazongas and a subscription to Mega The Boob. Though he immediately senses a disturbing vibration in his light sabre, Anodyne accepts the gift anyway, despite the visible discomfort of Lakshme Amittala, the former princess of Vindaloo.
Anodyne has appointed Princess Amittala to his hastily reformed Galactic Senate over the objections of his defective droid, Ro-Bin Kookoo, not yet fully recovered from Episode Nine: the Coda to Episode 12. If Princess Amittala and the Croni knights can seize control of the Senate, Anodyne will be able to make his move against the ageing droid Queen, E-2-R-2, while she is attending an Imperial singalong with Macca the Nice. Now that the hounds of the Kworn have been slain, the droid Queen is all that stands between Anodyne and total control. "Patience, my young friend," counsels the Lairg.
On the planet Ayrsha, Princess Rhona and the Kurlers are reeling under the attack of the Brooms. In the Inner Rim of Mobilia, the Fones are dead. Yassa, the grizzled 800-year-old midget chairman, tells his young disciples from the planet Xploda: "Fear Hopelessness breeds. Hopelessness Frustration breeds. Frustration Desperation breeds. Meditate on this you must for the Root Causes they are. Now go, and may the Fisk be with you."
Meanwhile, Weewill-Weewill Rokyoo is struggling to hold on to the Dominion, whose killer queen is unable to get out from under the giant bomb. It is unclear whether Mar-2-Smith-6 has resigned from the Department of Inter-Galactic Transport. The city of Enronia lies in ruins. Connex is operating a Sunday service.
Returning after his first appearance in Episode Six: the Continuity Errors of Episode Two, John Skywalker Lindh has changed his name to Hippi-Wan Hottubbi and joined the forces of Tali-Ban Binladi, the Jeddah knight who has taken refuge among the Gungan dins and vows to destroy the Empire because the Force has cursed him with the shortest light sabre in all the galaxies. He can still recall how he was mocked by Jar-Jar Gabor, the irritating comic relief first seen in Episode 11: the Remake of Episode Seven. Even Ulricca the Nookie will have no truck with him.
Bob the Bilda and his loyal droid 2x4 find themselves up against the dreaded Patiodoorz. The Strass borg has demanded harmonisation of all planets within the orbit of the Vat. Grand Moff Divin is seeking adoption rights. Without warning, Proda, the Supreme Commissioner of the Federation, assails Anodyne for his special relationship with Commander Dubyoo, leader of a primitive warlike republic in a distant galaxy, and urges him to attend to matters closer to home, where Jewbayta the Froggie is threatening the planet of Chiracca the Crookie and Yodaleia, the charismatic goatherd of the planet Anschlussa, is destabilising the rear deflectors of the Commission. The E-Unuchs meet to discuss dispatching the Lords of the Rapid Reaction, but Commissioner Palpatten says there's nothing to worry about, as he did in Episode 18: the Director's Cut of Episode Nine.
However, even as Anodyne feels vaguely that he played this scene in Episode Six, Episode 23: the First Draft is already ...
Oh my, my sides hurt!!!!!
John Skywalker Lindh has changed his name to Hippi-Wan Hottubbi and joined the forces of Tali-Ban Binladi, the Jeddah knight who has taken refuge among the Gungan dins and vows to destroy the Empire because the Force has cursed him with the shortest light sabre in all the galaxies.Not bad.
From the Dominion. ;^)
anodyne (àn´e-dìn´) adjective; Watered-down, insipid;
Save your dough. Here are three good action movies coming up that look really good:
= "Minority Report" which is also sci-fi. This has some Spielberg participation and I normally avoid his films
= "Sum of All Fears" with realistic nuke explosion which will get America even more on the anti terror band wagon.
= "The Bourne Identity" also looks like good action.
There are a couple of flicks Spielberg did that I really enjoyed. One I can't remember the name was about a British kid in WW2.
I still think the best time for movies was in the seventies, especially the early part. I must have seen "Deliverance" about a million times. And the original Star Wars was also pretty good.
Bob the Bilda=Bob the Builder, for those who don't have small children around. Tool sets available at Toys 'R Us and Home Depot.
Well, HERE is Bob the Builder. Sorry about the flub!
Empire of the Sun, based on J.G. Ballard's novel. Good movie, excellent book. ;-)
Hillarious.
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