Posted on 05/20/2002 4:12:42 PM PDT by NewHampshireDuo
NASHUA – Every day when Timothy LeBrun gets off the school bus, he hugs the woman who watches the students from the front seat.
With the help of his mother, Tracy Caron, the 8-year-old makes his way down the stairs of the bus for special-needs students and then past the flower beds in front of his Abbott Street house – the lights on the heels of his sneakers blinking the whole way.
He almost always wears his “SpongeBob SquarePants” hat, and if he’s lucky he gets to wear his blue “SpongeBob” shirt, with the words “Whatever Dude” on it.
When he reaches the porch, he gives his mother a hug and a kiss, and also has one for his great-aunt, Lucinda Spence. He gets excited, and they have to remind him to keep his glasses on.
Timothy has cerebral palsy and epilepsy. He has been in and out of the hospital his whole life. He likes to hug everybody.
That’s why Caron and Spence were taken aback when they received a letter Thursday from the Nashua School District’s transportation director, Brian Fowler, informing them Timothy had been given a warning for an “inappropriate display of affection” on the bus.
When the official-looking letter arrived in the mail, with the name of Superintendent Joseph Giuliano on top, it was the first time either Caron or Spence had heard about a problem with Timothy giving anyone a hug.
“Students must demonstrate responsible behavior on our buses and bus drivers must insist on proper behavior to ensure the safety of all students,” said the letter, which was signed by Fowler. “Misconduct, carelessness or thoughtlessness on the part of any student can create a safety hazard for all students on a school bus.”
When Caron and Spence read the letter, they grew angry. What Timothy had done hardly seemed worth all the hubbub, they said.
“It’s not like he swore at anybody. It’s not like he was being bad,” Spence said. “In essence, it’s calling this behavior naughty.”
Not to mention the letter just seemed too official, too formal, they said. What happened to a phone call? What happened to people talking to other people?, they wanted to know.
“They could have handled this without such a fuss,” Spence said. “It’s overkill. I think someone should have given us a call.”
Fowler, who could only comment generally on bus procedures and not specifically about the 8-year-old’s case, said a warning letter is the equivalent of a phone call. It’s not meant to threaten parents or scare children, he said.
“As I explain to every parent, it’s a mechanism to inform,” he said. “It’s more of an informational tool.” In fact, he has been sending more of the letters to parents this year so they know if there’s a problem. In past years, parents have criticized the district for not sending warnings home, Fowler said.
But for Spence and Caron, it seemed like the school district was more caught up in following the letter of its policies than considering the people and offenses involved, which in this case was a hug-happy 8-year-old
.
“I don’t think it’s fair the way the system is treating the family as if a crime is being committed,” Spence said. “Those are sent for bad behavior, and in this case, the bad behavior is showing affection.”
When Caron called Fowler for an explanation, she said he told her the person who complained was the monitor on Timothy’s bus. Caron only knows the monitor by her first name.
“They’re real friendly with me when I get him on and off the bus,” Caron said of the bus driver and monitor. “I don’t see why they couldn’t have said something to me instead of going to their boss.”
Fowler explained he now sends a warning home to a parent every time a bus driver writes up a student for inappropriate behavior.
There’s no disciplinary ladder that follows a warning, Fowler said. The specific action taken usually depends on the age of the student and the seriousness of the offense, he said.
Most warnings he sends home are not specific, citing inappropriate behavior or improper language. Students can get warnings for moving around the bus while it’s in motion or screaming on the bus, as well as more serious offenses like shoving or teasing.
But the district’s list of 24 minor and serious offenses that students can commit on a bus does not include an inappropriate display of affection. Because of that, Fowler sends home few warnings for such an offense.
He said an inappropriate display of affection occurs when the affection is unwanted by the recipient. That general rule applies from first-graders to 12th-graders, he said.
Both Spence and Caron said it’s OK if someone doesn’t want to be hugged by Timothy. They respect that, which is why they’re going to talk to Timothy about giving people hugs.
Caron said she’ll casually tell Timothy not to give the lady on the bus a hug, so it doesn’t become too big a deal for him. He’ll probably forget, so she’ll remind him several times, including when he gets on the bus every morning to go to Charlotte Avenue Elementary School, where he is in the second grade.
“I don’t think there’s a problem with (hugging), but if they do, I’ll address it with him,” Caron said. “He hugs everybody.”
Their website can be reached at: http://district.nashua.edu/Parents.htm
jgiuliano@nashua.edu
BUT, teaching them about b-f-ing is OKEY, DOKEY in the public skools....I AM REALLY PISSED ABOUT THIS ONE....
BUT, teaching them about b-f-ing is OKEY, DOKEY in the public skools....I AM REALLY PISSED ABOUT THIS ONE....Where's the tolerance for a little HUG for the "teacher/helper"?????????????? NO>>.......but, if she wants to hand him a condom or teach him about "alternate lifestyles" that lead to death, well THAT'S OKEY, DOKEY.....
And isn't this sort of message precisely NOT what they should be teaching!.
Down with PC public education(brainwashing)!
Not with the Americans' with Disabilities Act.
Many people are uncomfortable around handicapped children. That is ok. What is not OK is for a supposed "normal" adult to complain about a special needs 8 year old childs hugs. If the aid felt uncomfortable, she should have sought counseling for her problem, or asked to be assigned to the "normal" bus, where she could oversee the little tykes who have enough social skills to realise she does not warrant a hug, not inflict even more rejection on the little boy.
In all of the time I have been here, this is one of the most sickening pieces I have ever read. As I read this paragraph, I had the picture in my mind of this mom having to tell this child every day as he leaves for school, "I love you, remember, don't hug anyone." How horridly sad and alternately disgusting this world has become.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.