The San Francisco Chronicle's Resident Clown

Toogood Reports ^ | 05/22/02 | Patrick Mallon

[gohabsgo]

The San Francisco Chronicle can't be a serious newspaper if they allow writers to mindlessly vomit at readers once a week about "race, society and other matters" — can they? I mean, it's one thing to have a field day like Tuesday, May 21, wherein the Chronicle presented tongue-tied readers with blockbuster stories such as:

"Terrorists threaten apartments, rain threatens spring. Even couch potatoes aren't safe"

"Joy Sticks for Harry Potter"

"Why girls are bullies"

"Making a Fool of himself over Wiffle Ball"

These are REAL Chronicle stories. But the point of this article is clown prince himself, Emil Guillermo.

You'll recall last week that Mr. Guillermo created a big hit for himself after his "Ah, Color Blindness? Connerly's Deceptive Vision," where he goofed and ripped into Ward Connerly's Racial Privacy Initiative. Reader's found this piece so entirely laughable and over-the-top, that there was no other choice but to write an article about Guillermo's psychopathology.

So what's the point of this piece? Seems like Emil can't escape the loony bin. He's at it again with "Torn From America," (May 21).

In this charming piece, Emil emits spittle from the side of his mouth (napkins please), blaming President Bush for having the audacity to investigate 320,000 "immigrants" (no word on legal status) while also personally blaming Bush for "putting the screws" to an undocumented Filipino immigrant, William Manalastas. Emil implies that the president has nothing better to do than go after Manalastas, a little $11 an hour worker with a "dream of patenting a pig-roasting oven he invented for the catering business." Yes, that's what the Chronicle has assigned Emil to deliver. Great work if you can find it!

He claims that the INS is "targeting" 320,000 illegal immigrants (ordered to leave the country) with a "paranoid vengeance, showing no mercy — even when they may not be a real threat at all." How he knows all this is anyone's guess.

Since we can't make any assumptions, maybe we should consider that Emil has friends at the INS who gave him the inside poop. You know, the same guys who sent visa approval notifications to two murderous scumbag hijackers months after they killed several thousand Americans. Yeh, those guys! Had the INS gone after these cretins with a "paranoid vengeance," perhaps a patented pig roaster would have made it to market.

Wait a minute. What am I saying? If the murderous cretins would have been picked up by the FBI based on a reasonable fit to a criminal profile, Emil would have written about how they were RACIALLY PROFILED. Sorry about that.

He goes on to say in "Torn From America," "Sure, it makes it look like the government is actually doing something to protect us all." So, here's an angry little guy, sitting at the Chronicle, scheduled (I hope) for either rabies or distempter medication, launching sophomoric cheapshots at the same people who protect his freedom to insult common sense. With Memorial Day coming up (and we know how much respect Emil has for the U.S. military), perhaps we'll send a copy of his article to a U.S. Marine in Afghanistan. You know, just to let a young man risking his life know how much "gratitude" there is back at the Chronicle.

Later, Emil becomes philosophical: "But shouldn't we be going after bona-fide bad guys?" Bad guys are just by degree right? There are decent bad guys, semi-hard core bad guys, hard core bad guys, and bona-fide bad guys. I'll be darned. Thanks Detective Callahan.

And there's more: "After years of ignoring all those "overstays," the INS is rounding them up." No Grasshopper, after years of ignoring these overstays, the INS is enforcing the law. I once tried to "overstay" at Motel 6. They still charged me. Don't worry Emil, Tom will leave the light on for ya.

Here's the best line of the piece: "If you're male and from a country known to have Al-Qaeda operatives, no matter how few...or if you have an immigration violation...your name is entered into a national database" I know Emil, what an outrage! What an invasion of privacy! How dare they do that, using a computer with a real monitor (and maybe a modem), networked to crime investigating authorities, it's so mean! The Feds might actually find out who is trying to murder Americans.

Here's a suggestion: Leave the rubber room, take off the straightjacket, and write John Ashcroft; no better yet, write one of the murdered 9/11 victims' families, and tell them that for all countries with 400 or less Al-Qaeda operatives, you'd prefer no further investigative effort.

Perhaps if the FBI hadn't been neutered by so-called racial profiling laws, the murdering monsters taking one-way flights, paid for with cash (flags used to identify potential hijackers), may have been stopped. Think about the what-ifs Emil. What if psychopaths who only wanted to learn to TURN A PLANE at flight instruction school had been arrested.

Then Mr. Manalastas, a listed "absconder," with "minor" immigration violations, wouldn't have gotten that knock on the door. His pig-roasting oven would indeed have been a piggy gone to market. But instead all we get from you is "President Bush may still not be able to find any more real terrorists, but he sure can put the screws to ordinary folk like the Manalastas family."

Yes Emil, you are certainly "Torn in America," and still putting the screws to common sense. And the Chronicle? Well maybe your article beats reading about whiffle ball, bullying girls, couch potatoes, and Harry Potter. Come to think of it, thanks Emil. Your meretricious garbage wasn't such a bad piece after all.

[d14truth]

Chris Matthews???

'The San Francisco Chronicle's Resident Clown'

[Darheel]

'Don't worry Emil, Tom will leave the light on for ya.'

What a hilariously Capitalist approach. Everything costs something in this world, nothing is really free.

[Grampa Dave]

All of the reporters/writers/editors/publishers of the SF GayRhonicle are Resident Clowns with terminal STD's of the Brain.

This is nothing new. I cancelled my subscription to the SF Maggot Infested GayRhonicle during the 1988 presidential election for the incredible Bravo Sierra that came out from this miserable fishwrap.

Because of their exclusive focus on so called hate crimes, SF is rapidly becoming the unsolved murder capital of the US.