Posted on 05/23/2002 6:27:17 AM PDT by Stand Watch Listen
The meeting between George Washington and Bill Clinton occurred near Washington, D.C. after President Clinton left office providing a presidential pardon for a host of dubious recipients for this reprieve from justice. Only these two were present at the meeting — and me. I was present and learned to think a short time ago by seeing myself in car door mirrors. My name is Molly and I am a robin. I am a mother who has had several broods of hatchlings. At first I did not think at all, but seeing myself in mirrors sparked my brain and I have been reading everything about this wonderful country in the local school library. There is an opening in the attic that leads to the library and I fly in every afternoon after the children leave school at 2:30 p.m. I have the school library all to myself as I read about America and the founding fathers. That's how I got my education in American history and I like to visit the homes of presidents.What happened was that I was flying south for the winter when I passed over President Clinton's home in Washington, D.C. Bill Clinton was alone in his library and in walked George Washington out of thin air. I was on a window ledge and heard everything. My hearing is several times more acute than humans. I will relate what I saw and heard between these two ex-presidents. While reading in the school library I saw pictures of all the presidents and read about their lives.
"Don't be alarmed my son, this is George Washington. I had to make this visit because I am entitled to one visit and I have been saving it for somebody like you", Washington said.
"This can't be. And I'm alone too", Clinton said muttering to himself.
"Remember my farewell address. I warned the people against the danger of the political parties", Washington said.
"I did what I had to to get elected. And it was all legal and constitutional", Clinton said.
"The mischief of the party can damage the country. You, sir, inflamed the popular character for purely elective reasons. The danger of excess is always present by promising too much to the people", Washington said. "My heart is always with the people because I care for them, their well-being and health", Clinton said. "Political promises that mean endless government spending is a fire not to be quenched, it demands a uniform vigilance to prevent it bursting into flame, lest instead of warming it should consume the nation", Washington said.
It was at this point the man guarding Clinton began walking around the president's home.
President Clinton became very excited and made it clear he had no intention of hurting the country. At this point President Washington stood his full six feet four inches and said, "Sir, good intentions is not a reason to get elected for any office. It is to do the people's business with as little trouble and expense as possible. The public trough is not a piggy bank for all worthy causes. It is important that habits of thinking in a free Country should inspire caution in those entrusted with its Administration, to confine themselves within their respective Spheres. The spirit of encroachment tends to consolidate the powers creating a form of government called despotism."
President Clinton appeared to be at a loss for words, but I am sure he was about to say something when a man started walking towards me so I flew into a nearby tree. I fly south every year to avoid those harsh winters in New York State. Sometimes I think some of those politicians in New York want to tax the people for how much snow has fallen. The more snow the more tax. The snow tax is coming to New York. I'm sure because snow is the only thing they have not taxed. It's only a matter of time. Those politicians who want the snow tax will say it will make the roads safer for school buses. Now that spring is here I will be flying around Washington, D.C. to see what kind of worms I can dig up. I've been told the place is a can of worms and that's exactly what I am looking for. But I have to confess to you that my fellow robins call you people upright worms. I know that's not nice, but I wanted you to know. I don't use those words myself, you see I am their leader and I know better.
President Washington departed as quickly as he appeared and President Clinton picked up his telephone and paused trying to think of someone who would believe him. Until next time, Molly.
LOL -- he'd be hard put to find someone who would believe him if he said that the sun rises in the east.
General Geoge Washington retorted, "At least I didn't lie about it. Let's take a good look at your record, shall we?" As he pulls out a bulky rap sheet from his overcoat. He begins to read:
Lying Under Oath as President - 2 times Lying Under Oath as Governor - 5 times Lying Under Oath as Attorney General Lying Under Oath in a Deposition Lying Under Oath to a Grand Jury Lying Under Oath as a Lawyer Abuse of Power Obstruction of Justice Treason Sedition Corruption Coercion Graft Bribe Solicitation Taking Bribes Bribery of Cabinent Members Bribery of State Officials Commercial Bribery Commercial Bribery Recieving Illegal Gift-Taking Falsifying Business Records Misapplication of Property Criminal Use of a Computer Misuse of Franking Privelege Recieving Dual Compensation Recieving Unlawful Gratuities Malfeasance of Office Perjury Subornation of Perjury Perjury by Inconsistent Statements Criminal Trespass Witness Intimidation Witness Tampering Jury Tampering Tampering With Physical Evidence Tampering With Public Records Ethics Violations Intentional Interference in the Administration of Justice Refusing to Assist a Judicial Officer Hindering Prosecution in the First Degree Hindering Prosecution in the Second Degree Unlawful Contact in the First Degree Misrepresentation Civil Contempt of Court Criminal Contempt of Court Contempt of Congress Contempt of the American People Deception False Information or Report False Accusation False Testimony Factually False Testimony False Swearing Unsworn Falsification Misappropriating Funds Misconduct Marital Misconduct Serious Misconduct Professional Misconduct Official Misconduct Notorious Misconduct Misconduct Involving a Controlled Substance Obstruction of the Judicial Process Misuse of Confidential Information Interference With Official Proceedings Recklessness Grand Larceny Extortion Embezzlement Vandalism Blackmail Cruelty to Animals Obstruction of Highways Substance Abuse Evidence Suppression Illegal Foriegn Campaign Funding Failure to Request a Criminal History for Employees Aiding and Abetting Espionage Aiding and Abetting Foriegn Dictators Aiding and Abetting Arsonists Aiding and Abetting Drug Traffic Aiding and Abetting Organized Crime Aiding and Abetting Terrorism Aiding and Abetting a Known Felon Aiding and Abetting Terrorists and Terrorist Organizations Terroristic Threatening Providing Material Support to Terrorists Engaging in Transactions with Terrorists Improper Exports of Sensitve Technology Attempted Intimidation of Prosecutors Failure to Declare Income Failure to Investigate Drug Trafficking Scheme to Defraud Real Estate Fraud Voter Fraud Mail Fraud Wire Fraud Interstate Transportation to Defraud Destruction of Business Records with Intent to Defraud Criminalizing Frauds on Financial Institutions Use of State Police for Personal Purposes Illegal Loan Extraction False Reports by Medical Examiners and Others Investigating Suspicious Deaths Improper Futures Trading Illegal Use of the Executive Branch Character Defamation Destruction of Evidence Political Espionage Money Laundering Criminal Negligence Possesion of False Papers False Acknowledgment False Declaration Before a Court Wrongful Handling of Public Documents Concealing or Covering Up of Material Fact Misprison of Felony Criminal Deception Disclosure of Confidential Information Failure to Account for Public Money Recieving or Concealing Stolen Goverment Property Failure to Deposit Federal Monies Wrongful Solicitation of Embezzlement or Gifts Use of a Public Building to Solicit Political Funds Accepting Fee for Federal Employment Offering to Procure an Appointive Public Office Taking Illegal Kickbacks Racketeering Investing Racketeering Income RICO Conspiracy Conspiracy Conspiracy to Conceal Conspiracy to Murder Conspiracy to Engage in Racketeering Conspiracy to Defraud the Federal Government Wrongful Destruction of War Records Malicious Injury to Property Acquiring an Enterprise Through Racketeering Interstate Transportation of Stolen Property Offering Gratuities or Graft to a Public Official Soliciting or Accepting Illegal Gratuities Offering Gratuities to a Witness Seeking or Accepting Illegal Compensation Influencing or Injuring Officers, Jurors or Witnesses Obstructing Agency Proceedings Obstructing Criminal Investigations Threatening Victims, Witnesses or Informants Harassing Victims, Witnesses or Informants Retaliating Against Victims, Witnesses or Informants Falsely Making or Forging a Public Record Falsely Making or Forging a Document Uttering or Publishing a False Public Record Transmitting a False Record to the United States Misuse of Government Files Desecration of Federal Ethics Laws Judicial Intimidation Conflict of Interests Illegal Campaign Activity Misuse of Corporate Assets Ordering Politically Motivated Audits Ordering Politically Motivated Investigations Timing of War Influenced by Political Considerations Foreign Influence Peddling Regular Influence Peddling Providing False and Misleading Testimony Misapplying Funds Criminal Violation of the Privacy Act Evisceration of the Right to Habeas Corpus Misuse of Taxpayer Funds Interfering with a Court Order Theft of Government Property Abuse of Taxpayer Financed Travel Anti-American Espionage Jeopardizing National Security Murder by Accessory by Witness Tampering Murder by Accessory by Forgery Solicitation to commit murder by accessory Accessory to Multiple Deaths Accessory to Murder in the Second Degree Accessory to Aggravated Murder Accessory to Felony Murder Accessory to Criminal Libel Accessory to Unlawful Flight to Avoid Prosecution Accessory to Arson Accessory to Criminal Negligent Burning Accessories After the Fact Accessory to Abduction Accessory to Causing Mental Harm to a Child Custodial Interference in the First Degree Child Endangerment Cruelty to Persons Sexual Harassment Indecent Exposure in the Second Degree Indecent Assault Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress Malicious Wounding False Imprisonment Sexual Abuse of Employees Lewd and Lascivious Conduct Exchange of Promotions or Benefits for Sexual Favors First Degree Sexual Assault Second Degree Sexual Assault Third Degree Sexual Assault Fourth Degree Sexual Assault Unlawful Carnal Knowledge Statutory Rape Sexual Battery Intent to Rape Suspicion of Rape Rape Forcible Rape Oral Copulation Misdemeanor Sexual Assault Sexual Misconduct in the First Degree Criminal Sexual Conduct by Force and Coercion Unlawful Sexual Contact Unlawful Sexual Activity with a Minor Consensual Digital Penetration Lewd Proposal Sexual Battery Penetration by a Foriegn Object Failure to Register as a Sexual Offender Deriliction of Duty Corrupting Public Discourse Contributing to the Delinquincy of a Minor Unfit to hold a law license Conduct Unbecoming a President Impersonating a Public Servant Squandering the Public Trust
I should add your contribution to my 'Clinton' definition.
My contribution to the Clinton legacy:
| clin-ton (clint’ n) [after Bill Clinton, late 20th century disbarred U.S. president whose administration is remembered primarily for impeachment, corruption and scandals. Commonly referred to as: DIRTPOTUS…Disbarred Impeached Rapist Treasonous President Of The United States] and as ’Clinton bin Lyin’ --n. 1. Any lewd advance towards a person of the opposite gender, usually involving touching …*The boss did a clinton on his defenseless secretary* 2. Any instance of speech or conduct involving calculated deception …*The press conference on Kosovo was a real clinton* 3. Clintonitis A virus enduring all immune-system countermeasures of rejection …*Clintonitis is like a case of a sexually transmitted disease that just won't go away. The full extent of the pernicious aliment politicus Clintonitis, long unmentionable in mixed company, has intruded in full disgusting conspicuousness upon the national consciousness. * 4. clintonoid To adhere to, defend and support blindly, regardless of evidence, to speak with guile and malice; possessing the worst attributes of the First Felon ….* The clintonoid presstitutes, Brokaw, Jennings, Rather, Rivera, continued to spike all news detrimental to the administration.* --vt. 1. To grope a person of the opposite gender in an unwelcome, unwanted manner …*He tried to clinton the man’s wife* 2. To communicate in a manner which clouds the truth by omitting essential information, or by playing with the meaning of words, or by other such deceptive means …*He clintoned his answer so much that nobody understood it* 3. To shamelessly promote a falsehood as the truth…*"Ken Starr – out of control," clintoned the media. President Bush’s Economy was the worst in the last 50 years was largely clintoned by the mainstream press * --vi. 1. To act in a boorish manner while self- righteously maintaining the appearance of dignity …*He continued to clinton while the polls held up* --adj. 1.Characterized by sleaziness or deceptiveness, lacking moral guidance …*It was a classic clintonian response* or *America’s downfall was due to the clintonization of society* 2. To foster divisiveness among races, creeds, genders, generations, classes, occupations, political parties…*The clintonized warring factions were not willing to enter peace talks* 3. ????? Clintonesque - adj. describing a deceptive use of language via careful parsing of words to render a sentence meaningless or intentionally opposite of it's obvious meaning. Eg. ("To answer the question "Is he having an affair?" with "No, he's having lunch." |
Unfortunately, there are entirely too many who'd believe him if he said that the sun rises in the west.
I amend my earlier statement accordingly.
A. Kick his #$@?
B. Rebuke him for not leaving office quietly and gracefully?
C. Kick his #$@ again?
D. Take him out in the front yard and shoot him for being a traitor?
These obvious omissions call into question whether this actually was George Washington or just some preachy liberal haint posing as #1.
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