Posted on 05/23/2002 11:37:27 PM PDT by pulaskibush
In this time of confusion, and possible World War III, lets examine the battles to take place.
India vs. Pakistan- Pakistan looses due to massive amounts of Indian troops crossing over the Pakistani border undetected the same way Taliban soldiers cross the border undetected. Everyone in Kashmir that doesn't submit to the peaceful philosophy of Ghandi and the sacred religion of Hinduism is shot.
Argentina vs. IMF- Argentina bombs the IMF for giving money to corrupt government officials and forcing the rest of the country to pay, UN attempts to defend IMF, UN uses same tactics used to defend Bosnians from Serb rebels. IMF bankers die. 8 years of negotiations later, NATO marches in with 50 soldiers and captures President #459345684. Argentine Air Force that was trained by the US and did well during the Falklans War, kicks out NATO and takes over the country.
China vs. Taiwan- Chinese attempt to invade Taiwan. Like other Chinese products, most equipment falls apart, including boats. Only US products sold by the DNC remain in use. Chinese invasion fails. Jimmy Carter visits China and says US should sell the Chinese some boats without any Goverment reform because somehow, the brutal Communist Dictators will suddenly become champions of freedom. Jimmy Carter is deported to China.
North Korea vs. South Korea- South Korea, sick of Communist threats invades the North. Trashing through Russian weapons from the 70's, South Korea kills Communist Leaders and distributes tons of foreign aid that has been horded for the Communist and their army to the people. UN states that Kim Ill Sung should not be killed. Sung is hit by 43085734075305734 stray bullets.
Cuba vs. Puerto Rico- A battle for which Carribean Island's ethnic group will take over the US ends when the Cuban Navy allows the Puerto Ricans to kill Castro and Friends and then defects to Miami. UN states that Castro should not be killed. Castro is accidently hit by 340573908704857 stray bullets.
Nicaragua vs. France- Three drunk Nicaraguans with machetes somehow wind up in France and take over the whole country. About a dozen Israelis secure the area. Several French Socialist Professors are accidently hit by 348390579085723 stray bullets.
Canada vs. Minnesota- The entire Canadian army manages to take over half of Minnesota until defeated by Govenor Jesse Ventura. Ventura then lets the invaders go instead of jailing them because everybody has a right to do anything.
Germany vs. Texas- The Germans attempt an invasion of Texas because of their hatred of Cowboys. Texans wipe out entire German army and join the rest of US in the invasion of Mexico. Later, Several German Socialist Professors are accidently hit by 3475397239073 stray bullets.
United States vs. Mexico- US invades Mexico and has to execute 34985792 corrupt police officers, army, and government officials. US withdraws money to pay for illegal criminals jailed in US, for 3 full border walls, for adding water to the Rio Grande and making it a mile wide, payraises to the United States Armed Forces, and other expenses. US executes members of MENCHA, La Raza Unida Politica, MELDEF, and other Azland conquestidors. Members of LULAC and other hispanic organizations are forced to watch the executions.
and finally...............................
Israel & United States of America vs. Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, Egypt, Jordan, and other participating Arab countries.-An angry Israel/US invades all Arab countries and this time, kills off all leaders, as well as Madrasa teachers. In recognition of a state of Palestine, land from Jordan, Syria, Lebanon, Egypt, and Iraq is given to those innocent, peaceloving Palestinians. During the battle, Yassir Arafat is accidently hit by 458749857 stray bullets. That Muslim chick that shows up on Fox News replaces him. Iraq becomes US colony for oil. Three thousand nuclear missles are shown to be aimed at Mecca. Next terrorist attack, means end of the holy city. UN demands we ask their permission and not kill leaders. UN building accidently hit with 23423456345534554534534535435345344534534543534534534534545454535345398789 stray bullets. UN pays US back 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000 dollars for doing the UN's job of saving the world and ceases to exist.
Crips vs. Bloods. :)
Yeah, that will be sweet.
You forgot that Russia is fighting Islamic terrorists in Chechyna today.
No, it won't be the third World War, it would be a mass slaughter.
And it won't be funny.
Seems like a whole gob of someones need Basic Marksmanship...
Patriotic over zelous freedom fighting freepers and moderators.
N.C. State vs. UNC?
In America, Conservatives beat the crap out of Liberal Demorats, once and for all!
:-)
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