Ignored by parents, girl bullies run wild

Freep ^ | 6-17-2002 | Rochelle Riley

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

Trees are falling left and right for a new spate of books about mean girls -- 11- and 12-year-old middle schoolers who create entire systems for making other girls feel horrible.

But the interesting thing is that this hate-filled behavior isn't new. What is new and welcome is that folks are finally, finally paying attention to a problem that has caused and can cause lasting damage to young girls.

[elcaudillo]

Just what is your take on this article?

[cornelis]

link

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

My take is that this bullying also continues into adulthood. No one ever says anything about it because they are afraid of being attacked by the bully themselves. If a parent would have controlled the child's behavior early on, then they wouldn't grow up to nasty women.

No one is willing to to disipline their children anymore or to let someone know that what they are doing is wrong.

[IronJack]

Boo hoo. Girls get picked on. Generations of boys have survived, ever since Trog knocked Og's stone tablets out of his hands between classes. One of life's nasty truths is that people can be cruel. And one of life's most valuable lessons is coping with that truth.

These girls can learn one of two things from this experience: One, they can learn that whenever they're threatened in any way, somebody will intervene to protect them. Of course, that's patently false, because when they get to be adults, they're expected to defend themselves. Two, they could learn that the idiotic insults and word games played by Sister Bullies don't mean a thing to a girl who believes in herself anyway.

In other words, girls can learn to be weak and dependent, or they can learn to be strong and confident. Only one is the mature option.

[Born on the Storm King]

Who can tell how long it hurts when an innocent victim gets a call, and it's a sophisticated three-way, where the harasser puts her on conference, then calls a third girl she thought was her friend to trash her.

LOL!

[SouthernFreebird]

This stuff has been going on ever since Eve had her first daughter......we compete with other females for the males.

can you guess who will go farther and do better in life?.....the aggressive girl or the weeny who sits home boo-hooing.

[viaveritasvita]

I agree that it's not big news that children can be cruel, but Ms. Riley seems to be saying it's gotten out of hand--I don't recall too much cruelty from girls when I was growing up. One thing that worries me is that people will want the government to get involved--you know, re-education, hand-wringing sob-sister sessions, etc. TV and movies will start to glamorize it, too.

A bigger problem IMHO is the low morals of our girls! Used to be women upheld some sort of morality, which children and men tried to emulate and, for the most part, respected. Our children have been eroticized.

This was a good quote from the article and, I think, says much: Some kids don't have parents these days; they have buddies with credit cards who chauffeur them around.

[Shooter 2.5]

the aggressive girl or the weeny who sits home boo-hooing.

Probably the weenie girl. The point is made that the "aggressive" girl will suddenly find herself in a position where she can't cope and the girl that was picked on will handle adversity much easier.

[Amelia]

Some kids don't have parents these days; they have buddies with credit cards who chauffeur them around. And when those kids are making other kids miserable at school, their parents usually are the ones who taught them or who dismiss what they're doing as girlhood pranks.

Those are also the "parents" who want to sue the school when their "babies" get in trouble - and they aren't all parents of girls either.

Of course, when the kids get on the parents' nerves, they put them on Ritalin.....

[Reaganwuzthebest]

A boy will punch you; a girl will declare psychological warfare and not leave you alone until you begin staying home sick just to avoid facing school.

This may be true as kids, but when males grow up and realize they can't go around punching people anymore, they end up playing psychological warfare too. This just appears to be human nature and there's nothing much that can be done about it.

[Stefan Stackhouse]

When I was a schoolboy, I suffered from bullies too -- until one of them had an unexpected encounter with the business end of my fist. That, unfortunately, is the only message they understand. I'm not sure what the verbal equivalent of that is for the girls, though.

I wasn't real popular in school. And you know what -- all those people are now hundreds of miles and many decades away. I have no idea where they are or what they are doing with themselves. And I couldn't care less. My life is quite happy without them. That is a message that more kids need to hear from more adults more often, just to put things in a little perspective.

[EdReform]

Bump

[E. Pluribus Unum]

This stuff has been going on ever since Eve had her first daughter......we compete with other females for the males.

I don't think that's true. Women don't dress for men, they dress for other women (if they truly dressed for men, they would not dress at all).

Women of all ages are much more viciously competitive than men, they just go to great lengths to disguise it.

[meyer]

Women don't dress for men, they dress for other women (if they truly dressed for men, they would not dress at all).

Heh Heh!! Show up naked with beer...

[pabianice]

This has always been every day behavior for 12- and 13-year-old boys.

Women. Still 40 years behind men, still whining...

[freedox]

"In other words, girls can learn to be weak and dependent, or they can learn to be strong and confident."

Don't be fooled. Remember, Scarlett O'Hara (the literary QUEEN of psychological warfare) was quite adept at being both.

[independentmind]

This phenomenon is discussed in a book I recently read called The Wonder of Girls by Michael Gurian. Though I don't agree with everything in the book, I found many of his observations about the different emotional needs and behavior patterns of boys and girls fascinating. We really are different after all!

BTW, he also wrote The Wonder of Boys, which I plan to read soon.

[Mo1]

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[parsifal]

Typical female behaviour. Girls are cruel to their own kind. In every office I have ever worked in, it is the women who harass women the most. parsy