Please, Please, Please? Nagging Has Become the Norm for Many Youth

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[xsmommy]

. Just the other day she spent $4000 dollars on a two year supply of Agaricus Blazei Murill (ABM).

Yikes, what the heck is that?

[WIMom]

Wow, I don't even know what Agaricus Blazei Murill is/are! Sounds like you're fighting a battle with your wife. You need to sign her up on FR. You are right in your assumptions. If it continues, you will have bigger headaches when your kid becomes a teenager.

[dutchess]

When I was in 6th grade the Beatles were making their first tour. Dad just returned from work in pouring rain from downtown detroit (we lived in the burbs) I begged, I pleaded, I nagged...please go back downtown and wait in line in the rain for three hours BECAUSE every kid in the school but me is going to see the Beatles. I was relentless and got mom joined in the act. He went, I saw the Beatles, was the only kid in my school who did and that was the last time I EVER was able to manipulate them!

They learned and became MEAN MOMS!

[WIMom]

Isn't that the truth! My daughter wanted designer jeans that were $110! Can you believe it? And she wanted me to pay for it. I told her I would pay the amount it would cost for a normal pair, $30, and she could come up with the rest. She never bought them.

[WIMom]

But weren't you the coolest kid for awhile. I do give my kids things, but not everything their hearts desire. Christmas is a perfect example. We have the "Tour of Relatives" with all the young nieces and nephews. Those kids get presents from everyone. They receive 20-25 presents and play with the boxes and wrappings.

[Carolina]

xsteen is told she is welcome to purchase it with her own money, and she then becomes immediately frugal...

My kids ask to do extra chores. After a few days of work, they forget about it or decide it's not worth it.

There was one thing that they really wanted that they pooled their resources, did chores, and saved their money for several months.

Now that they have it, they're very diligent in taking care of it.

Lots of times, they control their own spending urges when we go to the store just by looking at the price tag.

[xsmommy]

i laugh my head off when xsteen (13.5 yrs) gripes about how EXPENSIVE things are that she wants. if i were footing the bill, she would not think so! she loves abercrombie and fitch and thinks their prices are ridiculous.

xsboy on the other hand, age 10.5, will spend his last dime for a videogame. He is working this summer at jobs around the house (designated by his father)to earn enough $ to buy an x-box. he has wanted one for as long as they have been out and we have refused. it is so much better than riding his butt to get him to do things!

[JZoback]

I have a sure fire way to stop my kids from nagging me.

I tell them "NOBE"

It is a take off of the word "maybe". Maybe is a positive response that means it might happen. It normally means ask again.

"NOBE"means "NO" but, I'll consider after I have a chance to think about it.

They learn one of the quickest ways to go from "NOBE" to "NO" is ask me again.

When they get their answer, they understand it is my final one, any additional times I am asked is taken very, very, very seriously That only happens once.

Parents just need to learn that they are not their children's friends, they are the adults and should act like it.

[Carolina]

ABM...

Whoa, stay away from 'shrooms!! LOL!

[mhking]

They interviewed the wrong parents. Ask more than twice, and I get downright hostile. My kids know not to nag us. (Well the baby doesn't but she's only 8 months old - she just runs the roost)

[jude24]

I tried that tactic as a kid a few times. Didnt work.

I think I turned out okay....

When I worked as a cashier at a local sporting goods store, I was astounded to observe the parent-child interactions. Too frequently, I would see a kid ask for something -- candy, a cheap toy, or something. The parent would say no, but the kid would nag, or failing that, throw a temper-tantrum. The parents more frequently than not would cave and buy the thing little Johnny or Susie wanted. Guess that explains a lot of the teenaged angst we see today....

[reformed_democrat]

Just the other day she spent $4000 dollars on a two year supply of Agaricus Blazei Murill (ABM).

Yikes, what the heck is that?

I dunno, but I sure hope it's something good to eat.

[Carolina]

agaricus blazei murrill

[reformed_democrat]

hmmmm . . . $4,000.00 . . . That's a lot of mushroom soup.

[pseudogratix]

Here is a link with a summary of ABM.

I should add that my wife just found out that she has adenomyosis, and so she is attempting to cure herself without surgery. I guess ABM is praised thoughout Japan for helping people cure their cancer and other such abnormalities. But, obviously, you don't need to go out and buy 2 years of the stuff at once, let alone without telling your spouse about the purchase.

That alone is bad enough, but she got all mad at me when I questioned her thinking (note, I didn't get mad and yell, I simply questioned her) about not coming to me first so I could do some research and price comparisions on ABM before she signed a contract for two years supply. She thinks I don't care about her problem. Sigh...

[jrewingjr]

There's a name for moms like that: ex-wives.

[xsmommy]

if i was not shot outright, i would have divorce papers served on me....

[jrewingjr]

I was married in the early 80s when the economy was still terrible due to the after-effects of the Carter years. Money was extremely tight, unemployment was at 17% here.

My wife who had always been good about not whining about getting things while we were dating, suddenly showed her true spoiled colors once she got a wedding ring on her finger. Whine, whine.

At great sacrifice, I saved some money and surprised her with a dress that cost me a whole week's salary. She was the "belle of the ball" at the big to-do and turned everyone's heads, jealous females included.

FOUR DAYS after this, she started on one of her whiny rants and said, "You never get me anything", so self-possessed at the time, she had totally forgotten about the dress. Suddenly, her mouth dropped open when she realized what she had just done. I picked up the phone, handed it to her, and said, "Call your Dad and ask him to come pick you up, he can spoil you."

I filed for divorce, and it was official on Valentine's Day.

[southerngrit]

Okay, Guys. Being the mother of three children I feel I can testify as an "expert witness". My oldest, born when I was just 19, sucker punched me every chance he got - sunny smiles, big hugs, "Mom, you are the greatest", etc. I never realized how he played me. My second, born when I was 27, (my first girl) nagged and whined and held her breath and sassed and sulked her way through adolescence. Most times I gave in just to shut her up. The baby girl (now 14) has the unfortunate position of being the recipient of my on-the-job experience in adolescent angst. She gives it her best shot, but age and experience have taught me well. If she wants a high priced item, I make her spend her own money on it. It's amazing how frugal children can be when it's THEIR money - not yours. Bottom line - stand firm and don't give in. The strangest phone call I ever received from my son was during his basic training in the Navy. He called around 3 a.m. to tell me how sorry he was for the torture he inflicted and asked my forgiveness for his conniving ways. I swear, that telephone call scared the cr*p out of me - who was this man, and why did he sound like my son? lol. Kids need structure, and rules, and even though they play you like a fine tuned musical instrument, it has been my experience that what they really crave is stability and a show of strength, no matter what their external attitude might imply. Stand up to the little darlings - they'll be better off for it in the long run.

[LibKill]

Children should be taught early that whining is counter-productive.