Free Republic

I think the best case to be made before the Supremes would be to simply present this audio of Red Skelton and allow them to listen to his short presentation. It's as if Red envisioned the very threat we face today of the Pledge getting kicked out of the classroom.Red Skelton Classic Pledge

LETTER FROM A FARM KID NOW AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT: Dear Ma and Pa: I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to...

Am I the only one who picked up on Bob Graham's bold statement that he served two terms as President of Florida?I about fell out of my chair. This guy is going to be fun in this campaign.It all happened on Foc News Sunday as he was being interviewed.Everyone kept a straight face, except us in the livingroom watching it on tv. I bet Rush will have some fun with that audio on Monday.

Question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities. In your hand is a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? Liberal Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack? Could we run away? What does...

IT’S A RULE – LITTLE KNOWN, BUT A RULE NONETHELESS. Section 14(a)2 of the Campaign Code promulgated by the Democratic National Campaign Committee: “In order to be eligible for campaign assistance and funding from the DNCC the candidate must use the words “Social Security” no less than one time in each 30 second television campaign commercial, and no less than two times in each 60 second campaign commercial. The words “Social Security” must be used in the context of the candidates stated intention to preserve Social Security in its present form.”

CREATORS ADMIT UNIX, C HOAX UNIXWORLDWEEKLY 4/1 p.1 In an announcement that has stunned the computer industry, Ken Thompson, Dennis Ritchie and Brian Kernighan admitted that the Unix operating system and C programming language created by them is an elaborate April Fools prank kept alive for over 20 years. Speaking at the recent UnixWorld Software Development Forum, Thompson revealed the following: "In 1969, AT&T had just terminated their (Bell Labs) work with the GE/Honeywell/AT&T Multics project. Brian and I had just started working with an early release of Pascal from Professor Nichlaus Wirth's ETH labs in Switzerland and we were ...

New Florida Golf Rules A proposed revision to the rules of golf is being sought in South Florida which will replace the traditional call of "FORE". Once a player has hit an errant shot he will be allowed to call "GORE" while the ball is still in flight. He can then replace the ball in the same spot and hit it again. The player can do this until he is satisfied the ball is going where he intended to hit it in the first place. This will cause the time of play to be extended until such time the ...

A United Way spokesman says that the Boy Scouts discriminate against homosexual children whereas I always thought it was just against homosexual scoutmasters. They are trying to hit on one of those "for the children" things. Need some definitive info. in order to complete my reply to them. In my letter to them I informed them that my company would no longer participate un U.W. and would return employee contributions so they can donate to whom they choose.

Redneck Computer Terms Hard Drive…What you end up with when your power-steering goes out. ROM…The sound the V8 in your pickup makes when you hit the gas. Lap-Top…Where you put Thelma Lou when she rides on the power-mower with you. Software…Ladies’ undergarments. Shareware…Clothes belonging to a woman and her cross-dressing husband. Hardware…Suit of armour. Reboot…What you do when the old boot wears out. Disk Drive…Steering device on a flying saucer. Chips…Cow pies (know in envirenmentally correct circles as: “Organic Frizbees”) Floppy Disk…A fresh cow pie that isn’t completely dry yet. Backup…What happens when you put the gearshift into the “R” ...