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God Baffled That Democrats Managed To Ruin California
The Bee ^ | May 19, 2024 | Staff

Posted on 05/20/2024 11:41:07 AM PDT by Navy Patriot

HEAVEN — According to sources in the celestial realm, God is scratching His head in wonderment that Democrats somehow managed to mess up California.

"You guys were literally given everything! How do you even do that?" said a spokesangel for the Almighty. "You have perfect weather, beautiful coastline, great surfing, skiing in the mountains, fish tacos, rolling vineyards, the list goes on. How on earth did you manage to take the most beautiful stretch of land on God's earth and turn it into a huge dump?"

"It doesn't make any sense."

Sources say Democrats in California took issue with the idea that they were to blame, claiming instead that everyone else was to blame and definitely not them or anything. "Yeah, it's like global warming and stuff," said Governor Gavin Newsom to a crowd of homeless meth heads on Pier 39. "And not enough taxes. If we had more taxes, all the things would be better."

Sources confirmed the host of Heaven is watching in amazement as people are actually leaving the beauty of California in the millions, choosing to live instead in places like Ohio and Florida. "We intended Ohio to be a place of torment for those who displease the Lord. We filled Florida with man-eating snakes and gators so mankind wouldn't live there," continued the spokesangel. "But somehow, Democrats have made those places actually look attractive to people. It's truly baffling."

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Education; History
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; bluestateexodus; california; californication; democrats; demonicrats
As expected.
1 posted on 05/20/2024 11:41:07 AM PDT by Navy Patriot
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To: Navy Patriot

“At publishing time, God had finally decided to pour out his divine wrath after finding the Democrats had figured out how to ruin fish tacos.”

🤣


2 posted on 05/20/2024 11:46:06 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave!)
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To: V_TWIN

In ‘86 spent 10 days in Northern Cali, flying into SF and spending the day there doing the sightseeing thing before spending the rest of the trip up around Sacramento in Roseville.

Back then SF was a very unique and interesting place. However, even then I could tell from the people I observed where that city was headed and sure enough.


3 posted on 05/20/2024 11:53:52 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave!)
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To: Navy Patriot

Even today you can find pockets in SoCal where if all you do is go through the day without financial concerns or focusing on the politics, it is one of the best places on earth!

Deep inside, you know its a fading illusion though. A haven only for those with a lot of money.


4 posted on 05/20/2024 11:59:28 AM PDT by Codeflier (Don't worry....be happy )
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To: Navy Patriot

At publishing time, God had finally decided to pour out his divine wrath after finding the Democrats had figured out how to ruin fish tacos.


5 posted on 05/20/2024 12:01:17 PM PDT by Grampa Dave (“If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it!” )
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To: Navy Patriot

At publishing time, God had finally decided to pour out his divine wrath after finding the Democrats had figured out how to ruin fish tacos.


6 posted on 05/20/2024 12:02:49 PM PDT by Grampa Dave (“If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it!” )
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To: Navy Patriot
Sources say Democrats in California took issue with the idea that they were to blame, claiming instead that everyone else was to blame and definitely not them or anything. "Yeah, it's like global warming and stuff," said Governor Gavin Newsom to a crowd of homeless meth heads on Pier 39. "And not enough taxes. If we had more taxes, all the things would be better."

I imagine it’s cathartic and fun to write this stuff. 😄

7 posted on 05/20/2024 12:05:31 PM PDT by Allegra (Toss a zeeper in the Dnieper)
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To: Allegra

I have a friend whose cousin lives in Milpitas. She has the gall to blame Republicans for every one of that state’s problems. Dems control like 70+% of the state, yet aren’t responsible for anything gone wrong. Talk about strong delusion.


8 posted on 05/20/2024 12:13:31 PM PDT by Auntie Dem (Hey! Hey! Ho! Ho! Terrorist lovers gotta go!)
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To: Navy Patriot

Wife number one’s brother lived in CA late 70s thru mid 80s. We went on vacay out there several times ... some beach trips, some skiing trips. It was great.

But while Mudda Nature has many outstanding things to offer, there is no reason to torture oneself with the out-of-control government, astronomic prices for everything, and crappy anything if you live in or close to a large city.

I have two work friends that retired out there about 14 years ago. Both are leaving soon, one to Idaho and the other back to Texas.


9 posted on 05/20/2024 12:18:30 PM PDT by ByteMercenary (Cho Bi Dung and KamalHo are not my leaders.)
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To: ByteMercenary

My uncle was transferred to So. Cal while in the US Air Force.
Mid 70’s. He retired there. I have gone out to see him several times since the late 70’s. The landmarks haven’t changed but the culture has gone to hell since then.


10 posted on 05/20/2024 12:23:45 PM PDT by Texas resident (Biden=Obama=Jarrett=Soros)
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To: Navy Patriot

Schumer to Almighty God : “Intelligence agencies have six ways from Sunday of getting back at you “

So take that GOD, what are you gonna do about it ?


11 posted on 05/20/2024 12:23:52 PM PDT by A strike (There is no tyranny that cannot be justified by 'climate change')
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To: Navy Patriot

Everything touched by Progressives, dies.


12 posted on 05/20/2024 12:29:07 PM PDT by Reverend Wright ( Everything touched by progressives, dies !)
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To: Navy Patriot

Still in wonder over the Bee’s video of Satan conducting a meeting with a group of his woke disciples. Basically telling them that they’ve gone overboard and need to back off. Sort of “Of course we want to kill babies. But you shouldn’t say it out loud.”


13 posted on 05/20/2024 12:32:39 PM PDT by katana
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To: Navy Patriot

I lived a year in the San Joaquin Valley in 1973-1974, and at first it seemed a dream rewarded. Them everything turned to the “reverse Midas touch”, and I could not find a job anywhere for a while after I was fired from my job as dairy herdsman on a dairy ranch near Tulare. I finally found myself working for an agricultural services company, under their foreman Tony Nunes, during the daytime, and milking cows in the mornings and evenings for a Dutch dairyman, Hary Van der Wall, who informed me that I did not know how to milk cows. That is when I decided to return to the midwestern roots, and I did not visit California for some twenty years afterward, when we took a “lap around America”, only to find that the situation had, if anything, already gotten much worse in the Valley than when I was there before. The illegal immigrant factor was much more apparent, and the delicate scent of rural poverty was everywhere. John Steinbeck’s vision of California had come back in full force, with Mexican labor replacing the Okies.


14 posted on 05/20/2024 12:32:55 PM PDT by alloysteel (Most people slog through life without ever knowing the wonders of true insanity.)
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To: Navy Patriot

I’ve yet to see anything that libtards couldn’t screw up


15 posted on 05/20/2024 12:54:49 PM PDT by NWFree (Sigma male 🤪)
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To: Navy Patriot

Bookmark


16 posted on 05/20/2024 1:11:31 PM PDT by aquila48 (Do not let them make you "care" ! Guilting you is how they control you. )
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To: Navy Patriot

Our little town in the Ozarks has so many California transplants that they are talking about a support group on social media.
Rental properties here are scarce and many have a wait list.


17 posted on 05/20/2024 1:11:48 PM PDT by Blueway
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To: Navy Patriot

Short answer: liberals

Longer answer: liberals


18 posted on 05/20/2024 1:16:09 PM PDT by Newtoidaho (All I ask of living is to have no chains on me.)
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To: V_TWIN
I lived in California back then, also could see where the place was going, exceeded the speed limit getting out--Einstein's speed limit.

It was obvious that the place was going to hell, but I never imagined just how far down into the fiery pit those nutcases would freefall.

19 posted on 05/20/2024 2:32:55 PM PDT by Savage Beast (Show me the man and I'll give you the crime. --Lavrentiy Beria, Chief of Stalin's NKVD)
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To: Newtoidaho

If they can ruin Cali they can ruin the entire country much simpler. Is not Gruesome waiting in the wings?


20 posted on 05/20/2024 4:25:11 PM PDT by Boardwalk
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