[NicknamedBob]

The Undead Thread is turning into a freaking Bureaucracy!!

Why do I say that? -- Because I find myself in the idiotic position of having to write a Mission Statement for the purpose of choosing the appropriate garb for squishing grapes!!

Ridiculous? It’s unimaginable!! Still, one does what one must to avoid the onslaught of chaos. Very well, then.


Mission Statement -- Defining the Appropriate Protective Clothing for the Initial Stages of Wine Production

Goal of Decision to be made:

The success of our decision will be determined by two things, and two things only, the quality of the product, and the safety and comfort of the employees. (Note: Although the staff of Viniculturists is largely Voluntary, we consider it more respectful to refer to them as employees.)

Safety: Grape juice is relatively mild, and safe for exposure to human skin. It does, however, contain modest amounts of fruit acids and tannin. For this reason, we are doing everything we can to minimize any areas of extended contact, abrasion, or irritation. The utility “grape-squishing” garment is selected with that in mind.

Comfort: The Garments Utilized for Squishing Selected Ingredients Efficiently and Safely, hereinafter called “Gussies”, in addition to being rather stylish, were also selected for comfort. Here is how the search was made:
-- Under the Category Clothing, the following parameters were entered, Soft, Comfort, Modesty, Eliminate Chafing, Breathable Fabric, Freedom of Movement

(We thought we might have to compromise on one or two of these parameters, such as modesty, but we were delighted to find a manufacturer who could readily supply us with several dozen. We ordered them immediately!)

Protection of Product Quality: In keeping with our philosophy of producing only the best quality wines and grape juices, we also received from the manufacturer an assurance that these articles are durably made, and do not have metal fasteners or other loosely connected parts which could detach and contaminate the product. In fact, they are made as a seamless one-piece garment, which exactly fit our requirements. We know that when you get “Gussied Up”, you will wear them with pride.

End of Statement
___________________________________________________________________

There, whew! ... I’m glad that’s all settled!

[tuliptree76]

ROFLOL!

[Dead Corpse]

Blurp blurp. you love it and you know it. Have some more wine... ;-)

[tuliptree76]

Well, you did volunteer for this job. ;-)

[trussell]

I want to see the prototype of this uniform!! If I have to worry about modesty...I may rethink my position on volunteering!!