Replies

> Two peanuts walk into a rowdy bar.
> One was assaulted.
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> A jumper cable walks into a bar.
> The barman says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
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> A sandwich walks into a bar.
> The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."
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> A dyslexic man walks into a bra...
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> A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt
> under his arm and says "A beer please, and one for the road."
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> Two antenna meet on a roof, fall in love and
> get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception
> was great.
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> Two cannibals are eating a clown.
> One says to the other, "Does this taste funny
> to you?"
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> Two cows are standing next to each other in a
> field. Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially
> inseminated this morning."
> "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!"
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> Two hydrogen atoms meet.
> One says, "I've lost my electron."
> The other says, "Are you sure?"
> The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."
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> A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and
> says, "My dog's cross-eyed.
> Is there anything you can do for him?"
> "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at
> him."
> So, he picks the dog up and examines his eyes,
> checks his teeth, etc.
> Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put
> him down."
> "What? Just because he's cross-eyed???"
> "No, because he's really, really heavy."
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> I went to a seafood disco last week... and
> pulled a mussel.
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> Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly,
> and when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank. This proves once and for
> all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
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> What do you call a fish with no eye?
> A fsh.