Good morning Mr and Mrs International and all the ships at sea. This is my final recap of a very interesting season. And boy what a ride it was !
Who woulda thunk that a gray haired soul singer would capture the heart and soul ( no pun intended ) of America ?
Who woulda thunk that someone whose main goal was --- I WANT MY VOICE HEARD --- really got his wish.
And woulda thunk that the ever arrogant, ever right, Simon Cowell ( the man American loves to hate but listens to anyway ) would eat crow ?
BUT BEFORE WE GO ON --- LET's GIVE AN APPROPRIATE TITLE TO THE FINALS NIGHT OF SEASON 5.
WITH NO OFFENSE TO THE GREAT BARRY MANILOW, IT SHOULD HAVE THIS TITLE :
"I WRITE THE SONGS ( BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO SING THEM )."
READ ON TO UNDERSTAND WHY THE TITLE IS APROPOS....
It's a Big Show. We have the Top 12 sitting in front, there are many celebrities in the audience.
I see Mandy Moore ( a self-confessed, Hicks Chick ) and hey, Ben Stiller is there, still looking comedic.
Chris Daughtry gets a nod and a hug from Ryan. Simon and Nigel are silently weeping for their lost gold mine.
Folks, let me tell you one reason why Chris Daughtry failed to capture the hearts of America... and NO IT IS NOT BECAUSE he has no talent ( he has ), a bad voice ( he has a great voice ), etc.
IT IS BECAUSE HIS FAN BASE IS LIKE THE RABID LEFT WING DEMOCRATIC BASE ( AKA THE HOWARD DEAN WING) OF THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY.
This base WILL VOTE DEMOCRAT EVEN IF THE CANDIDATE IS A SLEAZEBALL AS LONG AS THEY ARE --- Anti-military, pro-abortion, pro-gay marriage, pro-resdistribution of wealth, pro-regulation, pro-environmental hysteria and anti-capitalist to a fault.
I am not saying that Chris is a democrat. I am saying --- HIS FAN BASE IS *FIXED* IN THE SAME WAY AS THE RABID DEM BASE IS FIXED. They are composed of people who love alt/grunge LOUD rock music with screaming and yelling and all that anger being let out in that type of music.
Unfortunately for the screaming Howard Dean, this base only comprises 25% of the Dem voting block. And when the candidate makes himself "impure" ( as in compromise a bit on his principles ), they stay home.
Chris Daughtry's fan base is like that. Unfortunately for him, the rest of America IS NOT like that.
Look folks, I am not a prude. I can take hard rock as much as any other guy out there. BUT ULTIMATELY -- IT COMES DOWN TO THIS ---- YOU CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH REBELLION, ANGER, DEPRESSION, SUICIDE, ME VS YOU, ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT SONGS... The world is depressing enough already without being told every week in songs ( the kind Chris Daughtry sings ) that it is. DID YOU EVER ASK YOURSELF IF CHRIS DAUGHTRY EVER MAKES YOU SMILE ? HECK I SELDOM SEE *HIM* SMILE IN A SONG.
We watch American Idol to ESCAPE for an hour, the depressing things of this world. If we have guys like Chris singing --- WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE, INNUENDO, HEMMORGHAGE and lyrics like "OH MAMA I AM IN TROUBLE WITH THE LONG ARM OF THE LAW", we ultimately say to ourselves, ENOUGH OF THAT. Stop nagging, we get your point.
*THAT* Mr. Cowell and Mr. Lythgoe is what happened to Chris. When he sang Elvis and Louis Armstrong, his fan base left him and we, who can only take so much angry songs just said to ourselves --- "Chris, we get your point, please leave now".
BACK TO THE SHOW....
ROUND #1
Katharine McPhee reprises "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree" by KT Tunstall - You remember her on her knees singing this song a few weeks back ( as if singing BALI HAI in South Pacific ).
Well Katharine chooses to be on her feet for this number. The drummers were back. She danced around and played to them. The song was abrupt--it seemed shorter this time.
I notice one thing about Kat ---- she tends not to know where her best range lies. This song however, is perfect for her range and her vocals were good, but they unfortunately got swallowed up on the Kodak's big stage. The song will probably play better in a smaller venue, not in a crowd of 5,000 people.
Hence, her first version a few weeks ago had some grit and an intimacy that was lost here. Part of the first version's impact was that nothing like Tunstall's folk-blues had ever been attempted on Idol before. The second time around, the tune seemed slight. It lost it's punch. The song lost it's impact for Randy too, but he thought she sang it better this time. Simon said, "The occasion tonight is actually bigger than that song." An astute observation. Simon has the KNACK for saying things you wanted to say but can't quite articulate. That's what makes him a valuable commodity on this show.
Katharine mentioned the 1000 roses given to her by her fans. A very sweet gesture. If I were her, I'd say to myself, the roses are great thank you, but the money you spent on the roses ( $10 per bouquet ) could've been deposited to my bank account. I could use it.
OK BACK TO REALITY....
Taylor Hicks will reprise his Stevie Wonder song --- "Living for the City". This was one of his performances that drew NON_STOP applause in the past. If you remember, yhat was also the first time Simon called him the drunk dad who can sing, an allusion he would repeat several times more everytime Taylor dances ( Bacchus, the god of wine is laughing even as we speak ).
So, Taylor made his way out from the audience, and from the first note there was no doubt he was playing to win. He had the audience on its feet from the moment he stepped out in his purple velvet jacket ( horrible attire by the way, reminded me of Liberace in one of his worst nights ).
Taylor's gruff, tough, passionate vocals made Stevie's story of a decent kid who loses his way in the urban jungle come alive. However, I wish he would have stayed stage bound. It's crowd pleasing, but dancing his way down the stairs and out to the catwalk was a bit too Vegas and was at odds with the gravity of Stevie's lyric. But that's a quibble. Taylor nailed it.
Taylor made the song his own and I can quite imagine Stevie doing this IF HE COULD SEE !!
Randy said, "You don't care who it is...you always make it your own." Paula yelled something crazy. Then Simon said, "Great way to start the show, smart choice of song, it's arguably the worst jacket I've ever seen in my life. But what do I know...round one for you." ( Bless you Simon, WE AGREE AGAIN ).
Katharine McPhee will "Over the Rainbow" by Judy Garland.
For me, Kat made the mistake of singing a song that was too soon for the memory. She just sang it last week and now she's doing it again. She had a great catalog of performances, SOMEONE TO WATCH OVER ME for instance. Why not that one ?
Just like last week, Katharine started the song seated on the floor, bathed in a single spotlight. Will lightening strike two weeks in a row? Yes. This performance was every bit as lovely as last week's. Better, actually. She hit every note perfectly. She seemed relaxed and self-assured, which allowed a sweet vulnerability to slip into her performance. She didn't seem so "practiced" this week. Afterwards, we found out that her earpiece didn't work, but she came in on the right key anyway.
Folks, what does this tell you --- THE GIRL WAS MADE FOR THE STAGE. SHE ISN'T REALLY A PURE SINGER IN THE MARIAH CAREY SENSE, BUT IS A SINGER IN THE LEAH SALONGA SENSE.
I can see her on stage, on Broadway, and even singing Disney songs playing the part of Belle or Pocahontas ( scrap that, she's too white for Pocahontas ).
Of couse, we see McDaddy in the audience, weeping again. Is this spontaneous or an act ? I can understand it happening once, but a second/third time ? GOSH CAMERA MAN, what are you trying to accomplish with this shot ?? ( I am beginning to suspect a connivance between Daddy Mcphee and the camera man ).
Simon said, "Round one, you just got slaughtered. Now you've come back with, I believe...your best performance of the competition."
Taylor Hicks chooses "Levon" by Elton John. This was the VERY FIRST song Taylor sang in the top 24 which caused Simon to PUBLICLY EAT CROW AND APOLOGIZE TO TAYLOR FOR PREDICTING HE WON'T MAKE IT TO THE TOP 24.
Hey what's up ? THE ARRANGEMENT CHANGED. THIS ISN'T THE ORIGINAL ONE HE SANG 15 WEEKS AGO, The original one was closer to Elton John's version with a lively piano intro. This time it was a slow guitar intro and the song SLOWED DOWN SO MUCH that it dragged. WHAT THE HECK WAS GOING ON ??
I DID NOT LIKE THIS VERSION. Once you hit a high bar, I want you to meet it, not be inferior to it. This version was clearly INFERIOR.
I'll give him points for choosing a DIFFICULT SONG TO SING. Elton John's songs have the tendency to morph into several key changes and tempo variations. Levon is one of them ( Philadelphia Freedom is another). It also requires you to sell the song because of its still today --- mysterious lyrics.
But I also knew the judges would hate it. "Levon" offered none of the Idol moments that win a song praise. All it had was Taylor's beautiful, subtle phrasing, and that was enough for me. I don't need no stinkin' glory notes ( which has become an Idol staple, more on that later). A moving performance that will get better with each listening. And the judge that made the most sense here? Why Paula. After Randy dismissed the performance as a "nice song...a little pitchy for me this time." (No. It wasn't pitchy) Paula said, "Randy, what may be pitchy to you, is the essence of who Taylor is...and Taylor's just getting into the song..." Ok, that sounded a little goofy. But if I'm translating Paulaese correctly, she said that while Taylor's raw vocals aren't always perfect, he connects to a song perfectly. Simon waved her off and said, "probably not as popular as the first song." Well, he had a point there. He went on to say, "Katharine has taken the second round."
LOOKIE HERE Constantine Maroulis is present, still ogling his bedroom eyes to the camera. He and Kat learned well from their teachers at the Boston Conservatory. They know the camera placements and know how to make their eyes follow the angle.
He and Kat have this kinda actor/actress VIBE in them.
Next, the contestants tackle the Coronation Songs.
OK FOLKS --- BRACE YOURSELVES. IF THERE IS ANYTHING ABOUT CORONATION SONGS YOU SHOULD EXPECT BY NOW --- IT IS THIS....
THE INTENT IS TO MAKE YOU --- FEEL GOOD, INSPIRE, CAUSE PEOPLE TO HOPE FOR TOMORROW, TELL PEOPLE THAT THEY CAN CHANGE THE WORLD, etc etc etc.
IN OTHER WORDS -- THEY'RE JUST LIKE THE STANDARD ANSWER EVERY BEAUTY PAGEANT CONTESTANT GIVES WHEN ASKED : "WHAT IS YOUR DEAREST WISH FOR THE WORLD ?"
STANDARD ANSWER --- WORLD PEACE.
I can't wait to feel my hair stand on end !!!!!! BE PREPARED FOR THE GOOSE BUMPS --- THE FINGER NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD MOMENT !!
For Katharine McPhee, the song for her was ----- "My Destiny" written by Hanne Sorvaag. WHAT DID I TELL YOU ? Even the title sounds cheesy. SHEEESH !
Katharine sang the first 2/3rds of this song passably. This was your typically banal Idol coronation song filled with cliched phrases like "Dream come true," "Every moment led me to this," "I didn't give up" and "I owe it to you...I made it through." Every coronation song is the same: If-Only-You-Believe-a-Moment-Like-This-Tonight-Inside-Your-Heaven-Will-Be-My-Destiny. Every year it's the same. At this point, the question is--how successfully can the contestant sell this dreck?
Unfortunately for my poor dear Katharine, the song was not in her comfort zone--a power ballad that had Katharine losing the melody as soon as she went for the high notes. As always. Even the choir didn't help. I don't even think that she believes or even less, FEELS the song. I felt so bad for her and am quite angry because someone somewhere just SABOTAGED her best chance of winning this. The only consolation I have is --- Taylor gets to sing something similar so the harm isn't only going to be to her. IT IS AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY DESTRUCTION.
The judges were quite considerate AND SHOULD BE FOR THE TORTURE SHE HAD TO GO THROUGH.
After Randy complemented her look (code for "you sucked") he said "I didn't like the song, but I liked you."
Paula said "That isn't your fault." ( if even Pauler is subdued, that means it is your funeral music playing in the background ).
As Simon began to speak, Katharine looked scared to death. But he was kind too. "I'm sorry Katharine, but you went from brilliant to quite good in one song....everyone who wants to vote for Kat vote and remember the second song." (TRANSLATION --- Katherine blew this chance big time, please people, if you want her to win, forget what she did here and just remember the song she sang perfectly before this disaster ).
TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT --- SUCKY SONG RESULTED IN A SUCKY PERFORMANCE. 'Nuff said. If Kat wants to sue, she has every right to and I'll contribute to her prosecution fund.
NOW, ON TO THE NEXT SUCKY SONG.....
Taylor Hicks - "Do I Make You Proud" written by Tracy Ackerman, Andrew Watkins and Paul Wilson. FOUR COMPOSERS !!!
Do 4 writers make a song any better ? Or does the saying --- TOO MANY COOKS SPOIL THE BROTH apply here ?
OK, Taylor's coronation song was slightly less horrifying, but still a power ballad, still filled with the same trite phrases.
I have to give Taylor props for making something out of it, though he didn't have much to start with. It's like being asked to shoot from the foul lane with one hand tied behind your back. Taylor tries dam n hard to make lemonades out of lemons ( NOTE TO PRODUCERS -- YOU SHOULD'VE LET TAYLOR SING HIS OWN COMPOSITIONS --- SOUL THING, HEART AND SOUL, HELL OF A DAY, anyone of them would've made this a special night you creeps ).
At least for Taylor, unlike Katharine, he had an arrangement he could work with, even if in principle, the song was all wrong for him. He could at least sound decent singing it. He managed to Taylorize the song enough so that it didn't sound completely alien. I'm sad this is going to be his first single, and I fear for what else the producers are going to force him to sing when he makes his album.
Taylor, Taylor Taylor, what have you done ? YOU'VE JUST SOLD YOUR SOUL TO MEPHISTOPHELES AND TIED YOURSELF WITH A CONTRACT THAT IS GUARANTEED TO NEUTER YOU ??
GONE IS THE RUGGED, WORLD-WEARY, SOUL MAN WHOSE PRE-IDOL CD WAS CREATIVE AND REALLY ON FIRE.
What do we have now ? A trite beauty pageant song !! Bob Seeger meets Bubble gum pop.
SOMEHOW, I'M SHAKING MY HEAD IN SORROW AT THIS TURN OF EVENTS.
I think I'll go listen to my pre-idol Taylor mp3s now.
Randy was all you-made-it-your-own dawg. Paula said, "You're better than the song" That's the understatement of the season. And Simon simply said, "You've just won American Idol." And so he will.
Based on tonight's performances, Taylor won. I think, at this point, that's a prediction that's safe to make.
WINNER : TAYLOR
LOSER : BOTH TAYLOR AND KATHERINE FOR HAVING TO RECORD THESE CRAPPY SONGS FOR THEIR SINGLE.
I PREDICT DISASTER IN SALES.
This is close to my final recap of the season so please let me rant a bit :
Taylor, who I predict to win ( assuming no internal manipulations ), is NOT the quintessential American Idol, but he has a uniqueness that makes him stand out,He's an odd choice. He'll never be a Mick Jagger, but he could have longevity along the lines of Joe Cocker if he makes the right choices and gets the right producers. If someone tries to make him go Hollywood, the audience is going to hate him. He needs to keep it real and down-home. His fans, the Soul Patrol span MILLIONS from all over the world. They love him for his quirky charm.
Marketing him is a tightrope walk. I'd be careful not to straitjacket him as a retro-soul artist. He can't follow Michael McDonald and do a Motown tribute. He needs to establish himself first rather than risk pigeonholing himself with a covers album.
However, I feel that this man, who is a marketing and business major in college and who produced his own records, somehow had a plan from the beginning. He knows he has to first compromise before he can break through/ He knows he's got the tiger by the tail. All he needs is good songs. People already like him
This first single of his OUGHT TO BE HIS LAST COMPROMISE. SING IT, RECORD IT, AND BE DONE WITH IT AND GET OUT OF IT AS SOON AS YOU CAN.
I CAN UNDERSTAND THIS BARGAIN TAYLOR MADE. HE WANTS ONE BIG SHOT AT FAME AND REALIZES HE HAS TO GO THROUGH PURGATORY TO REACH HEAVEN. SO YES, HE COMPROMISED. I HOPE THE TRIP THRU PURGATORY IS A SHORT ONE.
Now, after talking about the geek, let's talk about the beauty.
I find it hard to envision Kat has another Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood ( who just won 2 CMA awards last night ).
If they were still stunt-casting Grease or Oklahioma on Broadway, she'd be perfect. She's pure musical theater. I don't think she has any grasp on what her talent is. She keeps singing these bluesy, sexy songs, and they don't ring true. She wants to be Mariah Carey, and she's not that type of singer.
One thing that makes her package great is this ---- She's absolutely stunning, and that's the most obvious marketing aspect in moving her forward. When you have a young woman graced with that much natural beauty, you obviously take advantage of it in promoting her. She needs to find songs that she doesn't merely sing but also feels. She's got a lovely voice, but there's an emotional disconnect. I'd look for material that resonates with her, and use that face to sell it.
The problem with Kat is SHE DOES NOT SHOW ME THAT SHE HAS THE DRIVE TO WIN ! Her parents seem to think that because she was trained to do this since childhood, she therefore deserves to win. It just DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY. Her performances strike me as affected and artificial, always looking for the camera and assuming a character instead of BEING ONE. She attempts the vocal gymnastics of Celine Dion. When people hear Celine, they know it's real. Katharine seems manufactured.
I blame McMommy for this.
There is no comparision between a 21 year old Kat and a seasoned performer like Taylor. Taylor has more talent, a better stage presence, and a better sense of self. Will Kat have a hit record ? I highly doubt it. We could with enough promotion, make a hit I guess, but it will cost LOTS OF MONEY. This first single isn't going to help.
ONE FINAL RANT PLEASE AND I PROMISE TO BE DONE...
American Idol" has endured many such slings and arrows for its outrageous fortune. But five years on, it's worth revisiting the criticisms that concentrate on these wearying vocal gymnastics, which seem to be the crutch of almost every contestant. Call it oversinging, or oversoul (a transcendent term used by some vocal coaches), "Idol" often is accused of dumbing down our understanding of good singing. But which came first: the oversinging or the "Idol"?
Simon is always saying a performance is 'so karaoke' or 'loungey.' Well, yeah. That's what the show is. It's about kids imitating other artists. DUH !
That includes the reliance on oversinging. It's an unfortunate habit that did not begin on American Idol.The show simply gave it a forum, an impossibly huge and, unfortunately or not, influential forum.
I BLAME THIS TREND WHICH GIRLS LIKE KATHARINE ARE TRYING TO EMULATE NO END ON SINGERS LIKE AMONG OTHERS --- Mariah Carey and before her -- Whitney Houston.
When Mariah Carey, instead of singing the notes as written, started riffing around the notes, making clusters around the melody -- that's when it happened.
The problem is, she started doing it so much you lost track of where the melody actually was. And she made that really popular. It's a style of singing that's interesting here and there, but a pain in every single song. It was apparent in for example, Katharine's MELISMATIC version of I BELIEVE I CAN FLY. After listening to it, I could hardly recognize the song at all !!
Folks, Look, Mariah has an incredible voice. BUT WHY TRY TO BE LIKE HER IN THIS SHOW ? Guys like Luther Vandros said it all when he remarked :
"A lot of singers think they're being paid by the note." He could have done all those trills, but he didn't need to.
Let's go back to an old analogy: the '70s success of Barry Manilow. That old key-change thing, having a vocal piece have shape and get more exciting at the end -- some of those trills and high notes entertain, sure, but are they always tasteful and correct for what the song is? No.
Tony Bennett knows how to end on a high note and wail and make you go, 'Wow!' Manilow made it with the key change. Burt Bacharach did it with orchestrations. The gimmicks are there for a reason, but no one's great if all they do is gimmicks. You have to understand what you're singing, what it's about, what it deserves. That's how you entertain.
This oversinging trend started becoming popular in the late 1980's.
For me, it is FAUX EMOTION. Mariah, Whitney and the rest did it and the trick is to try to sing higher, then you go higher and hold longer. Then you do a melisma [several notes on one syllable] around a super-high note and hold it longer, while the band goes through changes. And people go crazy.
And then people think it is the glory note that wins competitions.
Oversinging used to be a trick singers pulled out only for a powerful punch in concert. Once Mariah -- or Whitney or whichever diva is to blame -- captured it on CD, our ears were retuned.
Now it's become part of the language, Once it got recorded, it moved out of the Apollo Theater, and now it's in our DNA.
So what do we have today ? THIS BOMBASTIC "Idol" style of singing is everywhere now -- on radio, in concert, even on Broadway. I don't really know if I like it that much ---- the Quivering vibrato, curlicued melisma, notes held past the vanishing point: the favorite technical tricks of 'Idol' contestants are often like screams divorced from the pain or ecstasy that inspired them.
WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO TELLING A STORY WITH MUSIC ? The singers don't seem to be getting it anymore. They don't set up a story with the song or moving you with the essence of the song ( listen to Don Mclean's version of VINCENT for instance ). Now, I have to sit down and hear everone just scream at me right away.
So, in this age of technology , where everything is driven by digital manipulation, where the studio software gets to correct a singer's pitch , singers become lazy and fail to sing the straight melody.
And no, don't give me the names of Whitney Houston or Kelly Clarkson. They are slowly becoming bad examples to me. Whitney for instance used to sing the melody in a fairly straightforward manner like the great singers of the past ( e.g. Peggy Lee, Shirley Bassey, Dusty Springfield ) did.
But as the years went on, as everything had to be higher and louder, well now she has nothing left. They all go that way. Even Kelly Clarkson has already been in vocal therapy. Who can blame her ? We ask them to scream their lungs out, and they do.
FOR ME, THIS IS NOT A GOOD PRECEDENT FOR KIDS TO FOLLOW. FOLKS, LET's GET BACK TO BASICS ( and even Idol has to learn this ). LOUDER IS NOT BETTER AND BOMBAST DOES NOT HAVE TO WIN THE CONTEST.
One great example of this ---- Taylor Hick's outstanding version of IN THE GHETTO. HE HAS TO RECORD THIS AND DISS THE SINGLE HE WILL BE FORCED TO RECORD. IF HE DOES, this version will be a hit. IS ANYONE IN 19E LISTENING ?
