How about Grant ?
You should avoid trying clever. You really suck at it. Stick to being a sullen cowardly cyberbully. You’re much better at it.
And I quote: "I'll even dress up like disHonest Abe, Stove pipe hat and all... and, I'll slap you around and make you lick my boots."
If that ain't a picture of you then I'll eat my Lincoln Coven Membership Card.