I don’t watch soccer because it reminds me too much of my love life during high school; a lot of chasing, elevated heart rate, lots of sweating…very little scoring.
A friend of mine describes soccer as, “A sport for all the homosexuals that don’t have the hand-eye coordination to play badminton.”
A friend of mine describes gridiron as, “A sport for all the wimps that don’t have the guts to play real rugby.”