Posted on 11/07/2017 1:15:39 PM PST by drewh
When I was a freshman in college, I thought I met the love of my life. He was cool and fun and sexy, an older frat guy who was good at beer pong and knew exactly how to make me laugh. Within weeks of our first meeting, he became my official boyfriend. Within six months, we moved in together. Another six months later and we were engaged.
It was a whirlwind romance by any definition — except for the fact that I cheated on my boyfriend three times. Despite the heartache it caused, my experience with infidelity taught me a lot about love, relationships, and growing up.
Before college, I had been a serial monogamist. Since my first schoolgirl relationship at 14, I had several long-term boyfriends, and was never single for longer than two months at a time. I lost my virginity the summer before high school, and after that, had been sexually active with my subsequent partners. Despite my "experience," as my friends and future boyfriends would call it, I had no idea what it was like to be in a serious adult relationship — that is, until I went off to college.
That's when I met the man I would date, get engaged to, and inevitably cheat on. That's when I learned what a real romantic relationship was.
The beginning of my relationship with my college boyfriend was like a fairy tale. We were inseparable: He walked me to class, studied with me in the library, ate meals with me, and slept over nearly every night. We partied together on weekends, got to know each other's friends, and started talking about The Future. I was 18, and although I had been in what I had considered a "serious" relationship before, this was the first time I had the freedom to explore what I thought an adult relationship was supposed to be like — love, sex, drama and all.
The first time I cheated on my boyfriend, I wrote it off as a foolish mistake. I was drunk at a concert with a group of friends who found some cute boys for us to hang out with. After a half-dozen 20-ounce beers, a couple of joints, and a few sexy country songs, could I really be help accountable for my drunken actions? I loved my boyfriend, after all, and I knew we were going to be together forever, so what was one stupid mistake?
Even though I tried to write it off as insignificant, a week after I cheated I fessed up to my boyfriend out of sheer guilt. His face crumpled as I admitted, as he had suspected, that something did happen the night of the concert I didn't want to tell him about. His eyes burned with anger when I tried to tell him the same excuse I had been telling myself: I was drunk, and it didn't mean anything.
Eventually, he did forgive me, but after cheating, there was a distance between us that no amount of time seemed to be able to close. Something had changed in our relationship, and it wasn't just broken trust on behalf of my boyfriend. It was an uneasy feeling in my gut and a tiny voice in my head that said, But what if you did mean it?
Something had changed in our relationship, and it wasn't just broken trust on behalf of my boyfriend. It was an uneasy feeling in my gut and a tiny voice in my head that said, But what if you did mean it?
The second time I cheated on my boyfriend was no drunken mistake, and both of us knew it. After partying with friends, I ended up at a former crush's house and quite predictably, one thing lead to another and we slept together. The next day, that uneasy feeling in my gut had some company: pure guilt, and an overwhelming sense of being a truly terrible person. The voice got louder too, and started to say more: You did mean it, and this won't be the last time this happens, either.
When I cheated on my boyfriend for the third and last time, he wasn't actually my boyfriend — he was my fiancé. Despite the bumps in our relationship, a combination of our feelings for one another, a heavy dose of hormones, and the idea of finding happily ever after kept hurtled us towards a disastrous engagement that would only last seven uncomfortable months.
A month before it all fell apart, I cheated on my then-fiancé with another former crush, and even before our lips touched, I knew I was doing something wrong, but that I wouldn't regret it. I needed this infidelity to get me out of my relationship, something I knew deep down needed to happen, but something I was too weak and too immature to do on my own. So I cheated — again — and it served as one last sign that not only were my fiancé and I not meant to be, but I was not mature enough to really be with anyone.
That's the biggest lesson cheating taught me: that fidelity is an exercise in trust and maturity, one that not everyone can perform. I certainly couldn't at age 20, and it showed me that not only was I not ready for a serious monogamous relationship with my ex, but that I was not ready for a serious monogamous relationship at all. I may have felt like an adult, but I didn't have the relationship experience, communication skills, patience, or empathy to embark on a forever kind of love I so desperately wanted to have. I was selfish, uncaring, immature, and too caught up in the idea of what relationships are supposed to be, rather than what my relationship was actually like.
Cheating ripped away the false narrative about my relationship that I had created — we were in love, and with love came pain and drama — and instead illuminated my love, or lack thereof, for what it was: hurtful and ugly and so necessary for me to become the faithful person I am today.
Cheating ripped away the false narrative about my relationship that I had created — we were in love, and with love came pain and drama — and instead illuminated my love, or lack thereof, for what it was: hurtful and ugly and so necessary for me to become the faithful person I am today.
They say once a cheater, always a cheater, but after my experience, I can say that phrase is patently false. Cheating on my boyfriend multiple times taught me invaluable, albeit painful, lessons in love and relationships, on adulthood and maturity, on growing up. My actions showed me that relationships take a lot of work, not just together, but within oneself. It can't be forced, it can't be rushed, and it can't be half-hearted. When it is, people — yourself, your partner, your loved ones — get hurt.
Cheating taught me that kind of hurt never quite goes away.
Exactly, Fawn “Ohhhh, Frank” Liebowitz. And I’m just guessing that her Italian Nana Trombetta wouldn’t approve of her antics, and probably lights many a candle on her behalf.
Her father is going to be furious when he gets home from work today and sees this about Sadie....
She’ll cheat again once she gets a itch down there to be ravaged by an hombre
Probably some behemoth trop
Her boyfriend looks like a hipster wuss
Women need real men
They crave it
Do not doubt me
60 today
I know these things
A woman needs to craved consumed adored and totally dated edoevislly in the young years like Miss Sadie
no surprise, shes a gun grabber... https://hellogiggles.com/news/politics/how-to-respond-to-thoughts-and-prayers-gun-solution/
youre exactly right wd. some real man is gonna rock her world in real life after she gets out of the liberal bubble ...
Cuck and his wayward Sadie
Man the vision of her doing all that would drive me crazy
But Cucks tolerate horny cheating girlfriends well
Cheating go wild when they cheat
The taboo stuff tends to get shed
As if cheating ain’t bad enough already
Sadie is dialing for $$$ right now, Tinder app up a wealthy aire so she can get knocked up and in with the rich boy club!
I second that emotion.
I married a cheater. Took her ten years to slip up, but slip up she did.
:(
They say there is no fool like an old fool but let me tall ya’ NO ONE CAN JERK THEMSELVES ALONG LIKE A YOUNG PERSON. This is due to the fully adult capacities...and not a damn thing in them.
At least the fiancee` dodged a bullet. She probably would have ended up docking him for alimony after her next affair.
Love at first sight DOES happen. It actually happened to me. I met my wife through my hobby (Amateur Radio). She was 13 (yes I said 13) when I first saw her as I walked through her dads house to get to his Amateur Radio station. I KNEW at that moment I would marry her. I still remember to this day what she was wearing and doing the first time I saw her. She was reading a book sitting on the couch wearing a pair of sear sucker shorts. I was 18 at the time. Over the next 6 years we got to know each other and SHE is the one who got me back into church. We were married in Church on a beautiful April evening April 15, 1967
We raised two wonderful boys and now have 5 beautiful Grandchildren. We are blessed indeed!
We just passed our 50th wedding anniversary and I can honestly say she is my best friend and THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.
So you see, it DOES happen. Our life together has come through peaks and valleys and our love for the Lord and each other has seen us through.
The only difference now is that the girls get to brag about being sluts and whores too...'enlightened' equality and such
She will age horribly.
She’s hideous
She’s cute decent body
A solid 5.5
Her mind is bad
She’s young there is hope
I can see her 30 years from now, surrounded by cats, working for planned parenthood and voting straight Democrat.
old proverb: men age like fine wine and women age like milk..
Now sluts are shaming themselves.
And the poor guy had to deal with it.
What a selfish piece of work.
And I predict, that yes, she will cheat again.
She is the definition of 'the girl at closing time' after the bar is filling out...
Could be
I’ve never met a grown woman who was decent looking that didn’t have at least one eye on a man as earner and responsible
That doesn’t bother me to be honest
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.