Posted on 07/11/2005 10:23:10 AM PDT by RightWingReader
The war on terror and pending judicial nominations has Senate sphincters pulled almost as tight as Ruth Bader Ginsburg's hairline. All that pressure can bring out the worst in people, especially if you're a member of a body called the U.S. Senate.
Here's a baker's dozen of this summer's most embarrassing senators:
Harry Reid: Senate minority leader Reid has suggested that Bush's Supreme Court nominee should be someone who hasn't been a judge, is a moderate, and perhaps even a U.S. senator. Gee, Harry, why not just come right out and say it: "... and a Nevadan who resembles an undertaker."
Reid has labeled President Bush a "loser," Clarence Thomas an "embarrassment," and, if his history of personal attacks holds, the Supreme Court nominees can look forward to being called "poopie pants" and "doodie head."
Charles Schumer: So many reasons, but so little space. As for recent embarrassments, Charles Schumer said the London bombings were "a wake up call." Exactly how loud does Chuck need to set his alarm clock in order to jostle him to consciousness in the morning?
First World Trade Center bombing? Fast asleep.
9-11? Snooze.
Madrid? Snore.
Israel? Deep breath, rollover.
Moscow? Zzzz.
London? Snort ... "Hey, did you hear something?"
The Sellout Seven: Republican Sens. Lindsey Graham, Mike DeWine, John McCain, John Warner, Olympia Snowe, Susan Collins and Lincoln Chafee signed a pact with seven Democrats saying that judicial nominees will now only be filibustered "under extraordinary circumstances." A pact? These seven senators handle the majority like it's a ticking shoebox, and help move a poker game along by pointing out the fact that they were dealt too many aces, and then distribute them evenly around the table.
Particularly disappointing has been John McCain, who has endured so much for his country, and yet can't find the strength to tell Robert Byrd to go drop prune in his Kleagle hat.
Byrd's another senator who should be on the "most embarrassing" list, but I make it a point not to pick on men while they're trying to swat away the cartoon bluebirds fluttering around their heads.
Hillary Clinton: The former don of the Chattahoochee Mafia, and currently serving with Schumer as the second half of Gotham City's Lie-namic Duo, Hillary holds up more phonies than bikini tops on Malibu beaches. Hillary, sensing a run for the presidency, has hit the "June Cleaver" button on the Morph Machine, changing to more "red state friendly" positions with glaring transparency. Milk and cookies, anyone?
The Rev. Billy Graham made news recently for joking that Bill Clinton should become an evangelist and allow "his wife to run the country."
You left the third letter – "i" – out of the word "run," Reverend.
Richard Durbin: A newcomer to the list, Illinois Sen. Durbin has an annoying habit of ending up in the "quotable quotes" section of "Jihad Digest." Dick recently compared the Guantanamo Bay prison to Soviet Gulags and other atrocities. He later said he was sorry (that it was reported so widely), but is still relatively certain that prayer rugs offered to prisoners aren't sufficiently Scotchgarded.
Ted Kennedy: Speaking of scotch guarded, Admiral Kennedy of the Olds Navy has been belching up anti U.S. rhetoric on the Senate floor to the point where it sounds as if he ate Al-Jazeera. Kennedy gets the "Lifetime Achievement Award" for Senate embarrassment. Ted's the Frank Sinatra of silver-spooner idiocy, and "ol' red-eyes" croons daily. On the upside, unless you adjust the "SAP" button on your remote to translate Ted-speak, Kennedy is often indecipherable.
Barbara Boxer: Quite possibly the biggest doofus ever to enter the Senate chambers, including janitorial staff, pizza delivery kids, and carpenter ants.
Recent embarrassment: The senate has voted to ban Environmental Protection Agency pesticide tests on humans. That's not the embarrassing part. Hold on to your gag reflex – here's why: Boxer proposed the measure as part of the spending bill that funded the EPA, saying it would protect children and pregnant women from being exposed to toxins without adequate controls or review.
Unborn babies may be safe from pesticide testing, but, unfortunately, they will still be exposed to the foreperson at the abortion mill: Barbara Boxer – a greater fetal toxin than has ever been put out by all the chemical companies combined. Abortion is a "very personal choice that every woman must make," but spray Roundup anywhere near that woman, and you'll go to jail, you heartless bastard!
As I write this, I wish there were room for 13 more senators, because there are so many embarrassments in the U.S. Senate that it's almost as if the nation is getting "Punk'd." When it's time to grill the Supreme Court nominees, it'll only get worse.
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My illustrious senator -- Babs "Blowhard" Boxer.
Ted Kennedy has been on this list so many times that he gets to keep the traveling trophy.
I have to say, the "Illustrious" Republican from Pennsylvania has to be high on my list for his comments about offering the Chief Justice position to Sandra Day O'Connor to keep her from retiring.
We expect lunacy from the idiots on the left such as Reid and Kennedy. We shouldn't get it from him.
Add crybaby scared of mean ole John Bolton Sen. Georgie Porkie Voinovich..... What a bozo. Ohio fares no better with the other schlep DeWine......de weenie....
Of all the possible quality people to elect we wind up with these bozo's. What a joke!
Even though Shrillery and Schmucky are my senators, I cannot just choose one as "the dumbest".
In the spirit of diversity and belonging, I say all should come in first! Or last, as the case may be!
Definately the Sellout Seven should be at the top of the list. As for the Rats on the list, we expect that kind of behavior from them.
In my opinion, part of the problem is that our political system, while better than nearly any other around, does discourage many quality people from getting involved.
Who in their right mind would want to subject their family to the scrutiny that the politics nowadays demands? Regardless of whether or not there is something to hide, many of the highest quality people don't get involved for that reason, among others.
I still think we have the best system around. But it could be even better.
Uh, but no list like this would be complete without Voinovich singled out for crying like a pussy on senate floor. I was embarrased to be a Republican when he did that.
Right on #9
Maybe it would just be easier to list the ones who aren't a complete embarassment.
Add Arlen Specter
BARBARA BOXER: FETAL TOXIN.
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