Disclaimer: I've told some whoppers in my lifetime too. 
Posted on 07/31/2006 10:51:10 AM PDT by Millee
Forgive the shameless plug, but this is the entry we had to have. Think of it as our first, fumbling kiss… I promise to be gentle. The name of this blog and, the reason I landed this gig, are because of a book I've just written titled No Tattoos Before You're Thirty… what I'll tell my children. Conceived as an advice guide to my yet-to-be-born kiddies, it grew out of a column for a Sunday newspaper. In the book, the very first pearl I impart to my daughter is: "All men are liars. Any male between the age of thirteen and death who says 'I just want to be friends' wants to sleep with you. Men will say anything to get you in bed and none of them are to be trusted." Now, here's the bizarre thing…
Both of the female editors I worked with (at the publishing house and at my former Sunday newspaper) wanted to change this not-altogether-original advice to read: "All men are liars (well, most of them anyway)."
Their reasoning was and, I paraphrase, "you can't generalise, not all men are like you."
Really? And maybe I can interest you in buying the Harbour Bridge?
Men lie about everything: we lie about where we've been, who we were with and, especially, what we were doing. We lie about how much we like our girlfriend's cooking, clothes, friends, family, boobs and the boobs of their friends and family.
We lie about our income, exes, ambitions, how many women we've slept with, beers we've drunk, our abiding affection for pornography and what the hell that rash is.
"We lie so much it's like a second language," says comedian Chris Rock.
Why do men lie?
Simply; to avoid confrontation, pain and, ultimately, the growth that being truthful requires. The majority of men are still boys and we like things just the way they are, thank you. Taunts of 'why don't you grow up?' are like video game sweat off Lara Croft's back.
The more intriguing question, for me anyhow, is why do women lie?
As Chris Rock says: "You know what a man's lie is like? 'I was at Kenny's house'. A woman's lie is like, 'It's your baby'."
I've learned this lesson, to a degree, beating myself up for the tiny fibs I thought were tainting the sanctity of a relationship, only to call my girlfriend at her friend's place and hear…
"Aww, did she say was sleeping here tonight? I'm really sorry, Sam."
Still, I'm not cynical; I'm a pragmatist. I just expect that sooner or later, a woman is going to tell me a whopper that, if discovered, would change the course of both our lives.
What I don't get, is women, usually university educated, dating guys wearing skivvies, who insist men are different: that there are bad guys who lie and good guys who don't.
So, lemme clear that up for you right now, ladies.
The bad guys lie to get in your pants.
The good guys lie to get in your heart.
The good guys lie to get in your heart.
Aawwwww.
Disclaimer: I've told some whoppers in my lifetime too.
What about practical guys?
And this distinguishes them from women how?
I thought you were sworn to secrecy on that caper.
I'll never tell and I KNOW that she'll never tell.
(sent that to your freepmail by accident. I'm not trying to tell you anything. Honest)
I don't believe that!
I think Hillary would like to get in some woman's pants!!! (/chuckle)
In fact she lies, like her reprobate husband, about EVERYTHING.
As Chris Rock says: "You know what a man's lie is like? 'I was at Kenny's house'. A woman's lie is like, 'It's your baby'."
Puh-leeze! FReepmail is reserved for messages from adoring females.
You're right, I lied.
In the book, the very first pearl I impart to my daughter is: "All men are liars. Any male between the age of thirteen and death who says 'I just want to be friends' wants to sleep with you. Men will say anything to get you in bed and none of them are to be trusted."
Already telling my daughter this (when she's asleep, she's a little young to be cynical)...I also told her she could get her first tat when I got mine, when she turned 30 :)
The good guys lie to get in your heart.
The 'damn, he's good' guys lie to get into your and your friends' pants.
The queer-eye guys lie to get into your boyfriend's pants.
I declare you the winner..!!
Actually, I see everything in my work. I know so many secrets about so many people it's a burden. Women lie as much as men...they're just better liars.
After all these years I finally won something? Other than that Nigerian fortune I mean.
Agreed. I work with mostly men, & boy o' boy they just tell it like it is. No sugar coating here.
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