Wake up.
Skip shower and grooming.
Buy $10 grande mocha frappaccino at Starbucks.
Hang out at Starbucks for 3 hours using free wi-fi to check e-mails on $1,600 MacBook Air.
Head back to protest, ignoring numerous “Help Wanted” signs along the way.
Call daddy on iPhone to make sure he paid $59,208 Columbia tuition.
Ask daddy to add more money to meal plan and to send another $1,000 for spending money.
Work on paper for Lesbian Studies class.
Buy weed. Smoke weed.
Work on paper some more.
Order Domino’s pizza for lunch using credit card that daddy pays.
Take taxi to Abercrombie & Fitch for knit cap, because everyone else has one and it’s getting cold.
Bash a few Jews along the way.
Rejoin protest. Beat on bongo drums. Smoke more weed.
Use iPad 2 to check trust fund account and plan Gstaad ski vacation over Christmas, er, Winter Solstice, break.
Ponder the probability of the CIA together with the Jews bringing down the World Trade Center, along with the health consequences of wearing the same Victoria’s Secret thong for 6 days straight.
Smoke more weed. Trim underarm hair.
Make “A job is a right. Capitalism doesn’t work.” poster.
Walk to convenience store for $5.00 bottle of water and cigarettes.
Make out with half naked, emaciated dude with dreadlocks and a mangy mutt on a rope in exchange for some Xanax.
Do shots of tequila with Code Pink lesbians.
Pass out sandwiched between a burly dyke and some dude with pierced nipples.
I'm sure lots of people would LOVE to know where you can buy water and a pack of smokes for 5 bucks. Hell, five bucks is the federal tax alone.
They missed a step. “Get free Pap smear paid for by Daddy’s health insurance plan that Obamacare forced to allow you to enroll as a 25-year-old young adult dependent (and which also forced plans provide all preventive services such as Pap smears, at no cost to the patient).