“This show is being watched by roughly a billion people around the world, and everyone is thinking the exact same thing: That we’re all gay.”
- Steve Martin hosting the Oscars, 2001.
Knew that many of them were long before that.
My wife and I vaguely remembered that Sunday evening was the Academy Awards night, sometime around 10:30 PM CST, and thinking I might grab an easy update on what finally fell out, I turned on the telly. Viola! It was still on.
And, so, we decided to watch until Best Picture was awarded, noting that none of the nominees looked interesting (right, we haven't been to see Les Mis). We were getting settled in for the night while the Pretty People Played With Themselves In Public, and finally, we noticed there was a final "good-night number" offered by the host and some almost-anorexic dame. Did anyone catch that? It woulda been the tops for the night if I'd seen the whole enchilada -- a number called "Here's to the Losers."
Someone up above mentioned nervous laughter. There was plenty of that during this number. Was this a joke? Should we laugh? Was it a cruel insult? Should we storm out fuming smoke from our ears? So many double-entendres!! So little time to figure out how I should emote to them!!
Clearly, the lyrics of this number were being read from a telepropmpter, and also clearly there were likely scores of different versions of lyrics, as the songwriters (supposedly) would not know who the winners (and, hence, the losers) would be. In other words, ALL THE NOMINEES in every category was likely a candidate for the ending number "Here's to the Losers."
And, with that realization, the biggest joke of all took shape -- that's what the entire evening was about -- losers. All of them -- the films, the people who made them, the people who gathered in their sparkly clothes to fawn over one another.
"We're all gay?" They should hope for something so worthy. They're all losers.
Blech. In future years, I won't waste another 10 to 15 minutes like that!