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Will Your Kids Grow Up to Be Weird If You Homeschool Them?
PJ Lifestyle ^ | July 8, 2013 | PAULA BOLYARD

Posted on 07/11/2013 8:27:58 AM PDT by Sopater

Yes, definitely. But hear me out.

Every homeschooling parent knows about the “S” word—socialization. We’ve all had conversations with concerned relatives who wonder if our kids are being properly socialized. Read any article about homeschooling in a mainstream media source and inevitably, the comments section will fill up with concerns about it. Never mind that we also talk about socializing puppies or that it’s something we do at after-work Happy Hours, and that children who are caught socializing too much in school are reprimanded. People who don’t know anything about the homeschooling family down the street have “grave concerns” about whether those children are being properly socialized.

By “socialization,” many of these folks are really wondering if the kids will grow up to be weird or odd somehow. There are two basic assumptions—false assumptions—that people make when considering homeschoolers and the threat of “weird” personalities that arise because of a lack of socialization.

The first assumption is that anyone can adequately define “weird.”

If you were the homecoming queen who was named Miss Congeniality in your high school yearbook and went on to have a daughter who followed in your footsteps, you will have a very specific image in your mind of how a “normal” high school kid should look and act. Likewise, if you were the gym rat who majored in football.

On the other hand, if you were the shy, shaggy-haired boy who eschewed grooming and spent your high school lunch hour playing Dungeons and Dragons, your categories for “weird” and “normal” will skew a little differently than Joe Football’s categories. Beauty and normal are in the eye of the beholder. And contrary to the persistent Duggar-style stereotype, homeschoolers come in all shapes, sizes, and personality types. There are the jocks, the hipsters, the computer geeks, and the goth kids (although you will find plenty who actually are just like the Duggars).

The second assumption is that homeschooling causes children to become odd or socially awkward. Most critics who make that assumption or hurl the accusation don’t know (or ignore) the growing body of research to the contrary demonstrating that homeschooled children grow up to be normal, well-adjusted adults. Far from being socially isolated, the average homeschooled child participates in 5.2 activities outside the home every week.

While there are plenty of homeschooled kids who seem odd by homecoming queen standards, there are plenty of kids in public school who also fit that category. On what shall we blame their awkward behavior? How do we explain so many students who don’t fit in at school and struggle at the margins of social acceptance? Bullies pounce on every aberration of what is considered acceptable behavior by the “in” crowd and weird kids who don’t conform are kicked to the curb. Many families whose children are victims of school bullying actually turn to homeschooling to protect their kids from the violence and emotional harm they experienced in school.

Ultimately, “weird” people exist in every walk of life, regardless of the child’s educational background. My personal (admittedly anecdotal) theory is that children generally turn out to be a lot like their parents, regardless of whether or not they attended school. The offspring of geeky parents who revel in marathon sci-fi movie weekends and go all out for Renaissance fairs — complete with custom made costumes — are going to produce children who have similar interests. Public school probably cannot cure the children coming from that level of ingrained geek culture at home. Parents who live for sports and start their kids in soccer and t-ball at age 4, spending their evenings and weekends shuttling the kiddos from one practice to another, are generally (not always, but generally) going to have children who enjoy and participate in sports as they get older, regardless of their schooling choices.

So will your kids grow up to be weird if you homeschool them? Yes, definitely. Someone — right now, this very minute — thinks you are weird because you are not like them. And someone will think your children are weird for the same reason. But the way you choose to educate them will not be the cause.


TOPICS: Education
KEYWORDS: education; frhf; homeschool; psychology; publiceducation; publicschools
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I'm counting on it.
1 posted on 07/11/2013 8:27:58 AM PDT by Sopater
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To: Sopater

Indeed... “normal” is Humanist/Satanic.


2 posted on 07/11/2013 8:29:23 AM PDT by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: Sopater
I'm counting on it.

LOL I was going to post "they will if you're doing it right"

3 posted on 07/11/2013 8:30:27 AM PDT by Alex Murphy ("...Someone handed the keys to the Forum to the OPC and its sympathizers...")
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To: Sopater

Q: “But what about... whine... socialization?”
A” “We’re not raising socialists.”


4 posted on 07/11/2013 8:31:03 AM PDT by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: Sopater

Their ability to think will set them apart from others.


5 posted on 07/11/2013 8:31:43 AM PDT by KSCITYBOY
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To: MrB

Indeed... it is self focused, and self serving as well... which is Humanist/Satanic.

I watched an interview with a satanist priest one time and he was asked what it takes to serve Satan. He said “basically, you just do what you want”.


6 posted on 07/11/2013 8:32:05 AM PDT by Sopater (Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with mine own? - Matthew 20:15a)
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To: MrB

Good answer... I’ll use it. ;-)


7 posted on 07/11/2013 8:32:41 AM PDT by Sopater (Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with mine own? - Matthew 20:15a)
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To: Sopater

Only if we are lucky, will our kids be weird to gay loving, abortion loving, enslaved government ‘bots, whose fantasy is to be dominated by the “collective”.


8 posted on 07/11/2013 8:34:01 AM PDT by Truth2012
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To: Sopater

By “socialization” the libs mean brainwashing them into hating European history, culture, and all Christian institutions, especially marriage and free enterprise. It means embracing their opposites. So, yeah, homeschooling is all about avoiding “socialization.” Which is why I support homeschooling.


9 posted on 07/11/2013 8:37:08 AM PDT by Gluteus Maximus
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To: Sopater
I sent my "home-schooled" boys to a summer camp at a high-dollar private school and the instructor asked me if I was planning on sending them to their school in the fall. I said no, but asked why he asked. And he said, not knowing that they were homeschooled said, "Your boys have great personalities. They would be a great addition to our school." He further explained that they were refreshing to teach. Why I asked. And he said, "They don't seem to be affected by the money of their parents."

Now THAT is the very reason why homeschooled are being accepted with open arms at colleges who can appreciate quality.

10 posted on 07/11/2013 8:37:31 AM PDT by Slyfox (Without the Right to Life, all other rights are meaningless.)
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To: Sopater

Hey Sopater,

yeah socialization..we homeschool..we got the socialization covered...

my wife is the instructor and I am the principle and as principle I am responsible for socialization, so...

once a month, even in the summer months ‘cause we don’t want them to forget, I do my socialization routine..

When they least expect it, I grab them from behind and drag them into the bathroom....

I tear up one or two of their notebooks...

push them around...

scream and swear at them...

steal whatever money they have in their pockets...

force them to smoke a cigarette...

show them how sexting works...

and as the grand finale give them a swirlie (hold their head in the toilet bowl and flush).

Now they are socialized exactly as they would be at the local high school.

Lurking’


11 posted on 07/11/2013 8:39:05 AM PDT by LurkingSince'98 (Catholics=John 6:53-58 Everyone else=John 6:60-66)
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To: Sopater

The next-to-last paragraph seems to say it best about weird being related more to the parents than to the choice of schooling. The only home-schooled child I was ever able to observe closely was definitely his father’s son. This was in the context of a Boy Scout group in the 90s. Dad was an Eagle and highly desired that his son achieve that rank, too. The dad’s social skills did not allow him to easily connect with the other adults in the troop. The son had similar issues in connecting with his peers, especially when placed in a leadership position. His difficulties were amplified by an unresolved issue with a speech impediment (lateral lisp) that likely would have been addressed in a public school setting.

There’s no doubt the kid had great intellectual capacity and was probably succeeding in his academic endeavors but it was not translating to interpersonal or leadership success, at least within the scout troop. I think he eventually came through his awkward phase but then stumbled into becoming a lawyer...;-)


12 posted on 07/11/2013 8:50:47 AM PDT by T-Bird45 (It feels like the seventies, and it shouldn't.)
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To: Shimmer1

ping


13 posted on 07/11/2013 8:50:52 AM PDT by null and void (Republicans create the tools of oppression, and the democrats gleefully use them!)
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To: Sopater

If “weird” is unlike today’s hip kids as presented by MTV, then I’m thrilled with these kids being “weird”.


14 posted on 07/11/2013 8:52:45 AM PDT by Obadiah (Inside of every Liberal beats the heart of a fascist yearning to reveal their true nature.)
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To: Sopater

I didn’t take my kids out of public school because of the education. I figure I’m responsible for their education no matter where they get it. I took my kids out of public school because of the socialization. Life is hard enough without having to deal with pop culture filtered through the minds of teenagers.

My kids all had access to activities, and they’ve all grown up to work, raise their families and add to the value of civilization.

There are always kids in our yard and in our house who come to play with our late arrival 12 year old. He has always been home schooled, but he makes friends with ease. He plays little league baseball, can pitch no hitters, and has a 5 gallon bucket of balls he has won from hitting home runs. I think he will do okay in life.


15 posted on 07/11/2013 8:53:49 AM PDT by pallis
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To: LurkingSince'98

Hope the wife has already covered the lessons on homophones...since the principle (sic) seems to have been absent that day...


16 posted on 07/11/2013 8:55:45 AM PDT by T-Bird45 (It feels like the seventies, and it shouldn't.)
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To: Sopater

My three homeschooled children can, unlike their peers; interact positively with person of all ages.


17 posted on 07/11/2013 8:56:54 AM PDT by yuleeyahoo (Liberty is not collective, it is personal. All liberty is individual liberty. - Calvin Coolidge)
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To: Sopater
For what it is worth, interestingly the home schooled children/adults I've met over the years seem to have one thing in common other than good educations and that is manners. A key element in a complete education.
18 posted on 07/11/2013 8:57:23 AM PDT by yoe (The problems we face today are there because the people who work for a living are outnumbered by tho)
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To: Sopater

Having common sense and solid values will make them stand out, in culture void of both.

So, it depends on your definition of “weird”.

The “socialization” issue is nonsense, especilly if they have brothers and sisters.

Growing up with siblings is more important to quality development than any public school setting.


19 posted on 07/11/2013 9:02:20 AM PDT by G Larry (Let his days be few; and let another take his office. Psalms 109:8)
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To: yuleeyahoo

Having homeschooled all six of our children....your comment is spot on...


20 posted on 07/11/2013 9:04:33 AM PDT by Popman
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To: Sopater

We home-schooled our eight long before it was cool or acceptable - starting in ‘82.

All are stellar in their fields, noted for maturity and hard work, good character. And their ability to deal with others in both the business and social realm. Oldest got 4 degrees at one time (5 yr. full ride), Summa Cum Laude.....

Yeah, socialization is a real problem.......they are all anti-socialists....


21 posted on 07/11/2013 9:04:53 AM PDT by Arlis (.)
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To: Sopater

When homeschooling opponents say “weird” they mean “out of touch with the latest progressive social orthodoxies.”


22 posted on 07/11/2013 9:05:34 AM PDT by Mr. Jeeves (CTRL-GALT-DELETE)
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To: Arlis
All are stellar in their fields, noted for maturity and hard work, good character. And their ability to deal with others in both the business and social realm. Oldest got 4 degrees at one time (5 yr. full ride), Summa Cum Laude.....

That is definitely "weird"... congratulations.
23 posted on 07/11/2013 9:13:04 AM PDT by Sopater (Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with mine own? - Matthew 20:15a)
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To: Sopater

Socialization = Indoctrination, in today’s school system.

We home schooled (she did go to public high school for 3 years). 9 years out of college she has better social skills than most people of any age. And her societal “survival skills” are way above most people’s. Matter of fact, regarding the aforementioned skills, she was ahead of most adults at age 16 when she left home for college.

She’s better educated and (gasp) has superior reasoning ability and (double gasp) thinks for herself. When she and I disagree, it’s very tough for me to win the discussion. Yet if I clearly do, she will concede graciously.


24 posted on 07/11/2013 9:13:53 AM PDT by ChildOfThe60s (If you can remember the 60s.....you weren't really there)
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To: yuleeyahoo

Congrats. These liberals don’t understand education starts and foremost, at home. One of our new employees was home-schooled.

For “socialization”, he just joined the neighborhood sports teams. When the other kids asked him which school he went to and he replied, their answer was mostly “Cool! At least you don’t have show up at school like we do.”


25 posted on 07/11/2013 9:15:16 AM PDT by max americana (fired liberals in our company after the election, & laughed while they cried (true story))
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To: Excellence

srbfl


26 posted on 07/11/2013 9:21:34 AM PDT by Excellence (All your database are belong to us.)
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To: Sopater

A very accomplished teacher in the family tells me that the biggest problem he’s seen in homeschooled kids over the years is that they don’t deal well with deadlines.

Presumably because Mom will always let you slide on a deadline. Aside from that he’s been very impressed.


27 posted on 07/11/2013 9:22:24 AM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: Sopater

Early socialization is important. If it weren’t for preschool, where would kids learn to bite, scratch, and pull hair?


28 posted on 07/11/2013 9:32:12 AM PDT by AZLiberty (No tag today.)
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To: Buckeye McFrog

Our kids understand deadlines - put away your clothes before suppertime or no dessert!


29 posted on 07/11/2013 9:33:31 AM PDT by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: Sopater

Public school “social activities”:

- Drinking
- Cigarettes
- Sex/sharing STD’s
- Pot/Cocaine/LSD/etc
- Fighting/bullying
- Swearing
- Disrespecting authority
- Destruction of property
- Cheating

Now, how many of these would happen when homeschooling? Yeah...public schools, what could possibly go wrong? What amazes me is that I know parents that make this “socializing” argument. A kid *can* do well in public school but it is still mostly influenced by parents. Kids don’t care if the parents don’t, if the kids and parents don’t care then why would a teacher? Now realize why some schools should just be shutdown, they’re a waste of everyone’s time and money.

Other interaction activities:

- All sports (soccer, baseball, etc.)
- Scouting (yeah yeah)
- Work (!)
- Martial arts
- Church
- Hunting

There are some people that seem to think that these should be secondary to the first list. Amazing.


30 posted on 07/11/2013 9:37:29 AM PDT by fuzzylogic (welfare state = sharing consequences of poor moral choices among everybody)
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To: Arlis

Our youngest was home schooled for a couple of years and then went to a private Christian school. He just graduated from NIU with a degree in Electrical Engineering. (Summa Cum Laude also). He got a really good job 2 weeks before he graduated.


31 posted on 07/11/2013 9:42:23 AM PDT by fulltlt
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To: Buckeye McFrog

I concur on the deadlines. The other is that none of them know how to stand in lines like good little sheep.

I am a homeschool dad of 4, Scoutmaster to a whole slew of homeschooled kids, coach on a robotics team that is home, private and public schooled.


32 posted on 07/11/2013 9:44:46 AM PDT by cyclotic (Hey BSA-NOT IN MY TROOP)
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To: Gluteus Maximus

EXACTLY! We homeschooled our daughter from second grade through high school. During that time she was involved in our church, dance classes, and was on FR as “Cowgirlcutie” during her high school years. She has since graduated from Baylor University on the Dean’s List, married a bio-chemist, and now does a lot of charity work with kids. If more kids were “weird” like her, the world would be a MUCH better place.


33 posted on 07/11/2013 9:48:15 AM PDT by medtransemr01
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To: Sopater

My seven grandchildren are definitely “weird” All of the 6 that has either graduated or still going had/have 4.0 GPA. The all go to church regularly, don’t do drugs make agood living even while still in school. Not one penny to pay back in student loans.......


34 posted on 07/11/2013 9:53:17 AM PDT by Coldwater Creek (")
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To: Sopater

Oh no! They’ll grow up to be ‘weird’. AKA - they’ll have moral standards.


35 posted on 07/11/2013 10:02:32 AM PDT by Viennacon
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To: Sopater; MrB

You can’t! I copyrighted it 25 years ago.

Oh alright. I guess you can...


36 posted on 07/11/2013 10:23:45 AM PDT by TalonDJ
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To: LurkingSince'98

If parents do all that they get arrested and charged with child abuse. If some punks do it in highschool everyone (who wasn’t homeschooled) says it was a valuable growing up experience and the victim is a better person for it.
Survivorship bias.


37 posted on 07/11/2013 10:26:27 AM PDT by TalonDJ
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To: Buckeye McFrog

I can’t say I have every met anyone I thought was ‘good with deadlines.’ Particularly authors and engineers.


38 posted on 07/11/2013 10:28:27 AM PDT by TalonDJ
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To: yuleeyahoo
homeschooled children can interact positively with person of all ages

That is the observation I kept hearing about my (now adult) son - at things like scouts, he was the only one there that was comfortable talking with the adults. He would interact with anyone, from infant to older adult, with equal ease. It always freaked out the adults to all of the sudden realize that they were conversing normally with a young teen.

39 posted on 07/11/2013 11:46:00 AM PDT by T. P. Pole
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To: Sopater

What’s weird about Tim Tebow?


40 posted on 07/11/2013 12:04:39 PM PDT by golf lover (goingf)
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To: golf lover
What’s weird about Tim Tebow?

Compared to what the typical government school turns out? Plenty, but it's all good.
41 posted on 07/11/2013 12:06:18 PM PDT by Sopater (Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with mine own? - Matthew 20:15a)
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To: Sopater

Right! Definitely. Just like all other kids. Only homeschooled kids are a better, different kind of not normal. (big grin)


42 posted on 07/11/2013 12:10:45 PM PDT by Shimmer1 (Disarming innocent people does not protect innocent people.)
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To: medtransemr01

Great job!


43 posted on 07/11/2013 4:06:56 PM PDT by Gluteus Maximus
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To: Sopater

When my kids were babies, one of my cousins asked where we’d be sending them to school. I replied ‘we’ll homeschool’. Her retort was along the lines of ‘well, we thought about that but decided we’d rather OUR children be POPULAR’.

Well now. The ‘popular’ oldest girl is due any day now. She’s not 18 yet and no one is sure who the baby’s father is. This is an intact home and the kids are front and center at church every single sunday. Mom is a housewife who could have easily homeschooled. But as it turns out, these days the ‘popular’ kids are the one most ‘Kardashian’ like. And if you’re ‘proud’ that your kid runs with the popular crowd you’d better start spying. Because I can guarantee they’re up to no good. It’s Caligula’s barge out there.

We’ll pass on that sort of popular. Thanks anyways.


44 posted on 07/11/2013 4:13:17 PM PDT by Black Agnes
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To: yuleeyahoo
My three home schooled children can, unlike their peers; interact positively with person of all ages.

I agree wholeheartedly. My ten year old home schooled grandson had the most amazing conversation with a lady at a local nursery about photosynthesis, the differences between cacti and succulents and garden soil stratification.

I was quite the proud Papa.
45 posted on 07/11/2013 7:59:46 PM PDT by jy8z (From the next to last exit before the end of the internet.)
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To: Black Agnes
We’ll pass on that sort of popular. Thanks anyways.

Agreed... that kind of "popular" is not for our family either.
46 posted on 07/12/2013 6:37:28 AM PDT by Sopater (Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with mine own? - Matthew 20:15a)
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To: metmom; wintertime; bamahead; traviskicks; fieldmarshaldj; Impy; GOPsterinMA

Many students from the public schools have long-term psychiatric problems due to their experiences there.


47 posted on 07/31/2013 3:36:15 PM PDT by Clintonfatigued (Muslims are a people of tolerance, life,and peace, and if you don't agree, they'll murder you)
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To: Clintonfatigued; 2Jedismom; 6amgelsmama; AAABEST; aberaussie; AccountantMom; adopt4Christ; ...

HOMESCHOOL PING

This ping list is for articles of interest to homeschoolers. I hold both the Homeschool Ping List and the Another Reason to Homeschool Ping List. Please freepmail me to let me know if you would like to be added or removed from either list, or both.

The keyword for the FREE REPUBLIC HOMESCHOOLERS’ FORUM is frhf.

I hope so, considering what *normal* is.

48 posted on 07/31/2013 5:36:14 PM PDT by metmom (For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore & do not submit again to a yoke of slavery)
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To: Sopater

Both of ours are sooooo weird.

It’s so great!

The younger one’s moving up in sports ... Popular... And Has a sweet merciful heart, loves animals, and is working at VBS this week.
The other is an AF cadet aerospace engineering Eagle Scout on a full scholarship at one of the best universities in the country.

Weird.


49 posted on 07/31/2013 6:44:51 PM PDT by kinsman redeemer (The real enemy seeks to devour what is good.)
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To: Sopater

Both of ours are sooooo weird.

It’s so great!

The younger one’s moving up in sports ... Popular... And Has a sweet merciful heart, loves animals, and is working at VBS this week.
The other is an AF cadet aerospace engineering Eagle Scout on a full scholarship at one of the best universities in the country.

Weird.


50 posted on 07/31/2013 6:44:51 PM PDT by kinsman redeemer (The real enemy seeks to devour what is good.)
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